AAHhhhhh!!!!!! DAMN YOU IE!! Mwahaha!! All of it gone... all 2.5 hours I was working on it. about a good 2 pages in Word. Do I let it get me down? Sure, why not? Becuase there is no point... I just have to remember 4,000,000 things I said. Mental Note: stop using the web to post.
Far-thee-well For Now, Alex
Well, I would like to thank "Alex" for his special guest appearance yesterday. Aye, way to freak everyone out. Um, next time you are going to make an appearance, like, call ahead of time, or like, knock, or give me some warning, thanks, appriciate it. I look back at what happened. I look back into what I was thinking. I see how my mind was starting to lose control, just like some time way before, only it was no where as bad. There was still mind filtering, and there was still a realization of who I "am". So I learn a bit more of myself and think I have discovered more about The Rule of 13™. More aspects of myself. I have come to realize that there is more than emotions that I should not bottle up. Some day I just might find all 13. Some day I just might break my hidden and unknown panes. While people will say that is impossible, I remember when space travel was impossible. I remember when lasers were pure fantasy. I think how much I have let society taint me. How I have let 5th Dimentional Thinking™ go aray at times. I am happy to have come back and learned from that. To realize the possibilities the mind offers. With that, I know I can break the barriers that other people have set up for how they feel existance should be. I am individual, hear us roar. Nuts, I really wish I had not lost all that work. Well, guess I should go once again into my day yesterday.
So I went to work, with the strangest of mind sets. The Floyd that was playing all the way there helped to bring some of my mind back to me. That was a good thing since speaking lines from A Clockwork Orange all day to my customers would have just not been a good thing. I just felt so strange. Must have been the flashbacks of old times. The most noticible thing at work was the lady who called me and shortly through the 8 minute call was crying hysterically. I have gotten a few people who have broken down and cried on me, but nothing close to this. I mean, and she had two phone issues. He change of address & number appeared to not have worked, and her ROL (recording on line for all who are reading this far) pointing to her new number was just giving a disconnect notice, no redirection. Why exactly she was crying as she was is beyond me, but I see more and more how I have to apply theropist and psychology professor to my callers, even though it is not in my job description at all.
So You Though Ya Might Like to Go to the Show
After work, I got in my car and headed towards the Science Center. I had decided that it was time to see a Floyd laser show since it had been for ages since I had been there. More Floyd on the drive over meant more control restored to my mind. I got there and paid for my ticket around 0920p. She told me I had to come back the same day, and that it was not good any other day. I pointed to the shirt and hat and mentioned Floydian things. I think she got the picture.
The Idiots of the Web
So back home to wait for 1145p. I decided to stop and get a 20 pack of Bud Light and had myself 3 beers. I also stopped by the Yahoo chat, which kept crashing left and right. I was observing the humans, and as usual, people acting all cool and bad around their friends. Blah... I can see why I rarely hang around chat rooms anymore. Pety people who like to slam others to make themselves so great. Well, the one person who decided to do that in said Iowa chat did not get the responce he might have been looking for from his friends when he mentioned some smack about me when I had not been doing anything. I did what I would to anyone who has no importance in my life, and ignored it and moved on, spreading the word of Bud Light and Floyd as much as I could.
Which on is Pink?
So the time came to leave, and I got there right on the dot. My time management has been improving. The lady who gave me the ticket said they were holding the show for me. Ah huh, sure you were. At first, I thought Harry was gdoing the show. My heart skipped a few beats, but I realized it was someone else. Did I know this guy by chance? Things were much different since the last generation I showed up for a show. Everyone was more... calm. There was no intro for the show. It just got dark, and the show started. No one screamed to start off with. So with that I would do my best not to, just to observe who this audience was who was watching the Floyd shows. Between songs, I could hear a bit of talking, as if they were all there just to hang out or something. Never before had I seem such a thing. There were a few songs that just grabbed me and I did yell out. The croud found humor in that, and I am not sure why. Wow, this audience was dead. Maybe they were just too stoned or something. So, after the show, I stop and talk to the laserist. The lady who gave me the ticket was there. Do these two know each other intimately or something? Wow, we so talked for a good 30 minutes or so after the show. We talked about Harry, how he was doing, and about the crazy things we use to do at shows. I told him there was no intro, and he said he was going to do one, but he saw me in there, and I would talk along with it. It was Harry's infamous intro he always use to do. I told him how dead I thought the audience was, and how they needed a boost, and he mentioned how I should have done the intro, so, I just may be doing that next Friday when I go back to the show, haha. I mean, my first Floyd expierneces were at that center. That is how I came to know Floyd. I was talking about that also, and he said how he too got into Floyd there. I have to remember to get his name next time. We talked more about Harry. I figured out how I thought I knew him when I mentioned the time I was there (sober) and Harry was playing Dark Side of the Moon, and afterwards, he put in Comfortably Numb, and that was the first time I had an "episode". I so got into the music, that I would fade in and out, and people would think I was totally drugged out, which was no where close to their truth. Harry, and like 3 other laser related people were there, and I think they were staring at me, since at this point I was the only person in the seating area. After the song, I said, and I quote, "PLEASE, can you play that again?" He did not say anything, and out of no where, it started again, and I went further into just not being there. I sang every single guitare part, I air jammed, I dropped to my knees and just flew from my body for a while. I had mentioned how the song was 6 minutes and 24 seconds. He looked at the CD and it gave that exact time for the song, and he goes, "Wow, he's right." Of course I was! Haha, that was the start of our friendship. Hmm... ironically, we had stopped hanging out a lot some time after I lost my mind, that weekend when I went insane and had no control over myself, or could not find any control I should say. That is interesting indeed that I just realized that.
Close to the Sting
Well anyway, so, I came back home, and attempted to chat with people. I was tired after a few hours, and finally had to crash. I woke up, and was not sure what mood I was in. While I chatted with a few people, the biggest thing is I chatted with Stingray, and IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS MAKING IT FRIDAY!! He goes on and off about well he still is not too sure, but forget that crap, I say he is coming, end of story. Man, no one ever comes to visit me, haha, and if there was any human out there I would want to visit me from afar would be him. I was so excited when I found his little screw buddy or whoever she is (hehehe, just kidding Stingray) had already showed up. That much closer to finalizing the deal.
Explaination of the Self... for Now...
My little encounter with "Alex" helped me realize something about writing things down. Not to mention the numourous comments I get about people who stop reading a little ways into my entries. I mean... I thought I had pointed out, but when I write, I do so solely for myself. I may add comments here and there in case some one else actually is reading it, but it is all for me and me only. If someone else wishs to read it, then great, no problem. If someone wants something explained, then hey, I can cover that with no problem either. I have come to the realization that if anyone would read everything I wrote, found out how I was, that the person would be a massive threat to me. More and more I treat you like JOHD. I admit, I commented how you were JOHD, but it all crashed thanks to ICQ, so, I guess it was not meant to be yet, eh?
Get Paid to Probe Madd!
I hereby am going to motivate myself. Any email message that I have read, must be replied to by me within like 24 hours, or I am sending them money. Ah huh, that is correct. I mean, I do not get many meaningful emails, minus a few people I know in real life. Many times it is LJ notifying to me that someone has problems reading my mind, and they go off as if it makes them feel better for some reason. Excuses... I think I was talking to someone in a chat about excuses a while ago. Maybe it was more than one person. Oh well... however, I do think I should write something next time "for the humans", if you would. Explain some technical aspects of things.
Younger Idiots of the Web
I love how these 14 and 16 year olds find me and think they can play games with my mind. Maybe 18 is the magic number. Anyone under that has no chance of playing mind games with me and even coming close to winning. Anyone over that... well... they all have the possibility, but it depends how much of me they get to know, and how well they use it against me. However, if I do not open anything at all, then I will not have people who attempt to break me. If that does not happen, and I live this "peaceful" life, I will never be able to see what people get through, see what I may have to work on. Remember this always, Madd. Oh interesting, seems someone is pretending to be me on line and chat with people. How... interesting and childish. Then again, who is more childish, the person who goes around asking the cup size of girls, or the girls who up and assume it really is me without asking me? ASSuming... they never learn.