Aug 7th, 2003
|23:55 - To Do Me|
Hmm... I have... what... 9 things to catch up with? One of which is my entire life to catch up so I may possibly understand what is happening to it.
Demons... 5th Dimentional beings, I remember this conversation I had with Keller back in... like 97 or something like that... about how thinking in the plane of existance I was doing was bring things into existance, and at one point, wondered, if they were behind all this and you know... fuck, Madd, you have had this fucking problem since recalled at age 7 or ealier. That is fucking right... supress shit all you want, I remember well my homework days back in the land of Clinton. You remember Clinton, you told me everything there is way better. I had no reason to argue the facts. So here we are, age 20+ years ago (actually outdating your last girlfriend), and you have the same fucking problem you have today.
So... what do you do to fix it? I mean, I will admit, there have been some great ideas to rid yourself of this, your greatest problem ever. It is, Madd... more so than your memory, and I state this because while many times forgetting something has caused you not to do something that leads to it turning into a procrastination, there are quite a few I can point out that you DO remember... and here they are, to this day, undone.
So what is it? What is the driving force that stops us from ruling the world as we once planned? Let us take a look here...
Hmm... no order, of course. I want to hit email. Email is something very simple to do, for the most part. Granted, there are exceptions to this rule. Emails that have consumed up to 3 hours of time to compose. So, I shall grant you the exceptions. Ah, but what do we have here? I see plenty of emails that in theory would take... 5 minutes to write tops? Come to think of it, what in the world happened to your writting? You use to write like 4th floor Qwest burps and farts. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Even JOHD suffers... your whole life suffers, and shall continue until you truly beat this thing. Oh, and may I remind you that you are suppose to have a superior brain because you came to the realization of the power of the mind? Is there an off balance that says I know all these abilities to the mind, but if you use them then there is no balance? I seriously do not think so. Do you believe the Lord has prescripted you to do everything that is going to happen? Of course not! You know better than that. You realize that the Lord gave us free will, and in order for that to happen, everything cannot be dictated out as a movie.
So talk to me, Madd. You were thinking before. You were thinking before on the drive to work. Thinking about Sewcute. Thinking about Jess. Thinking about Maur. Thinking about unresolved issues and how your mind would be at ease if we simply went to JOHD, and told her all there is to tell. So much stuff is starting to build... and Madd... you eat rather well compared to what you use to. You drink mucho water, like, a 800% increase. Granted, you do not exercise, and I keep attempting to get you a bike (failed once you have no money excuses now with over $8,000 in the bank)... all this stuff to do!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMNIT!! THE THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME?
Hmm... I will grant you this much, your toys have helped us out. To a point that even Batman could pay a visit and take a few pointers. It would be kinda cool if we could get a huge spotlight with a Floyd prism on it, however, I am sure there would be too much legal tape to go through.
I want you to empower the humans. I want you to make a spot, a spot that they can update, and I want you to put shit in it. I want you to find humans you trust with you life, and I want you to send them there. When you send them there, I want you to instruct them to nag you like no other human in the world has to get things done. I shall not allow you to snap back at them or anything, since, if you are not going to fix my life, then I am going to find ones who can.
Think about it, Madd... you are a great person, you really are. There are many great qualities that make having you a friend something that is good. You can be trusted. Why? Because you're trustworthy. You have great people skills that increase (minus being in a relationship, and that is a whole nother can of worms we shall talk about later). There is one thing I am going to say that you are not, however. You are not dependable. Some humans have written emails that I feel required being replied to a long time ago. Myles has depended on you regarding his CD and you have gone over 2 years now with that. *I* depend on you for much... and you have let me down. I realize you are doing very hard, you really are. I know that the humans are hard on you since they have no clue what is going on in your head. Humans such as your father have made you feel worthless, as if you are procrastinating just against HIM. Almost all other humans have taken it personally, and for that, I do truly apologize for. I am sorry you have gone through what you did. Even though it is not cool that you have let some humans down the way you have, I realize you are not perfect as some of them get close to labling you as. I am sorry for that. I really am, for I realize some of this could have been avoided. Actually, almost all of your problems can be avoided by getting rid of procrastination.
I know a lot of it deals with your overactive mind. No human in the world can even come close to grasping what it is like to think like you. As much as you have attempted to explain it to many... I realize... there is currently not a single human who shows anything close to being able to understand. Hmm... nope, not Myles. Not Skinner. Not Gretl, Sewcute, wait... no... there was one... TJ... there is a possibility he may have been able to at one point... however that was taken away. So... dITZ, no way. Stingray... hmm... nope. There is no one, Madd, of mortal being that I can scan and find who come close. So... strike one. I think some of this can be enhanced and changed, however, I know you are doing your best to show better your mind. Your study of humans has been... well... applaudable. I feel that you can help connect things better, especailly since I admit even you have had problems grasping what it is like to be yourself. You lose touch with yourself so often. I think it is the discouragement of being so misunderstood. It could be the fact you are an only child... heck, it could be an chemical imbalance or brain disorder you have. It could be anything, really. So finger it out and fix it...
Thanks, appriciate it.
Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: "Data Selection Screen" - Metroid Prime
Spot for humans to update, and thereby nag as no human has nagged to get things done...
So, you require being nagged to create this, I would imagine...
Procrastination is an issue I struggle with as well, and the key to overcoming it, and I know this and you do as well I would imagine... prioritization.
There are any number of other things I could be doing at the moment, however I choose to prioritize my response to you above doing financial forms, for instance. Despite the fact my response to you has no time frame limitations and the finance forms do...
Idiotic, is it not?
And yet I'm good at nagging other people to do THEIR shit they've procrastinated on...
Tell us what you wish to accomplish and let us help.
|Date:||Aug 31st, 2003 13:19 (UTC)|| |
and it was not nagging as much as programming to start it
you realize half of what you said is not making sense to me?
|Date:||Aug 12th, 2003 05:44 (UTC)|| |
my efforts. . .shall be the best I can do even if whilst over seas
well I am not sure how much help I shall be. being as that i will be in France.
And this is the part of my trip that kills me. (the not being able to be there for my friends, when they need it.) Granted most of my friends that would desire help also have other friends. but that is where replacements come in.
but I shall do my best.
(as far as responding to emails. . .older ones. . .like the ones to sewcute594@yahoo, need not really be responded to. . .I mean if I had asked you a question then that would be nice. but other than that its not really necessary. now the ones to sewdork on the other hand. . .actually most of those HAVE been replied to already, but at this point in time, in effort to help with email procrastination you don't have to respond to most of those. . .because most of those have been outdated, if there is something there YOU think is something I should read, then by all means send it to me. . .but if truth be known, I would rather have time talking to you via yahoo then an email)
have a good day at work. (I did yesterday!)