Madd Martin L Kroeger (madd74) wrote,
Madd Martin L Kroeger
madd74

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Part Two of One



Broken Chain

     I just realized that for the first time since I got it, I did not play Final Fantasy IV yesterday.  WhooHoo!!  The power of Christ compels it, or something like that.

Dreaming of You, LJ

     Oh yeah, I forgot in last episode to talk briefly about my dream that I had.  I was dreaming something about the source code for LJ.  Haha, that is all I remember.  Yeah, I do not think that one is going to make it to my web site.

Pasture dITZ

     I had all this stuff to write about, however, something happened to it all.  Maybe it was the chatting with dITZ.  It was a good chat, mind you.  Learning a little more of myself my debating with other people.  Oh yeah, I made an error in a previous entry, my reference to Genesis should be chapter 26, not 28.  I must remember to track and correct that.  One the drive back we also had a lot to talk about.  I learned a bit more of my past.  dITZ, mind you, is rediscovering God, if you will.  She takes God more serious than I have ever seen, and goes to studies and what have you.  So, she mentions about sex before marriage, and how people who want it cannot be trusted, to which I asked her if I was not to be trusted then since I have already broke that part in my life, and I got to thinking how the people who I had sex with were all people who ended up wanting sex with me.  I then realized the type of people they turned out to be later in life.  Every single one of them.  Wow, she was right, and she even knew a few of them who I had dated (or slept with) and how that was true to their personality of who they were.  It made me feel better knowing that someone back then was preventing me from up and just wanting to have sex with everyone like many other people who I have run across.  I thought back to the one person who I did ask sex from, and dITZ did point out the fact she was already asking for it bad.  Which, of course, made me think way back to when it happened, and how dITZ was my roomate at the time, and could not understand why I had sex with her in the first place, and I was not all sure, until I had realized shortly after having sex with this person that I was reacting to a psychological mind game with a bit of my own.  Yeah, I could have handled it better, but at the time, I was just discovering sex in the first place, and that is why, boys and girls, you should wait to have sex, haha, because like, yeah, that whole chip thing, and problems with just eating one, unless they are nasty chips, and yeah, I have had nasty chips before... er, okay then.

I'm Super, Thanks for Asking

     Oh that reminds me.  It appears that my care free life style of living it for myself and not others has yet again gotten people in a stir, wondering if I am gay or bisexual.  Man, the stories I have about that could litereally make a good size book.  Yet again, my sexuality comes to question, and once again, I find it extremely amusing.  I mean, the fact I can "dance like no one is watching" and then have people think things of me without even asking.  In the past, people who really did not know me or care to know me straight out would answer.  These are people who would rule the world through brute force, so no biggie to them how I would react.  However, some people who value the time I spend with them, either talk to others about my sexuality, or, they go and they send others to ask on their behalf.  That one always kills me, and I love playing with the messanger when they ask the fabled question, "Madd, are you gay?" I am to a point where I really do not talk about it.  A person just has to get to know me to know if it is true or not.

The Learning Channel

     hEhEhE!! Maur and his $10.  I could almost write a book about it, haha, it cracks me up so much.  Oh yeah, I would like to thank Stephie (no relation to dITZ) who has helped me understand something very important in the realm of chatting.  She chats with me lots from work, in fact, she is so behind in a response, but it is all cool, since she is always warning me ahead of time on what she is doing that causes her slow responses.  Yeah, what a great idea, too bad I was too stupid to think it up on my own, you know, to warn people that I am writing, or chatting with 8 other people, so they realize I am not up and not chatting with them.  Of course, my multi-tasking stills are far better than hers ;)  That reminds me of when I use to listen to three radios at the same time.  Man that was so fun, because, I do not think anyone else could understand what I was listening to, and that was the advantage of working in electronics.  I miss having music while I work :(  I miss being able to actually help customers, even if it did take 45 minutes to explain how to use a computer.  I miss playing with the overhead speaker, hEhEhE!!  Now, if I am 10 minutes on the phone with a customer, people come rushing, and want to know if there is anything they can do to help get rid of the person.  It is like MASH, meatball surgary.  Nothing fancy to my pacients.  I patch them up, move them on, and take on the next casilty.  Blah, my spelling is getting progressively worse.

Madd v 7.4

     I think the re-coding of my mind is nearing complete.  This coding started when I originally went to WI to see Stingray.  Unfortunately, complications arose that tainted the growth and delayed it longer than I had expected.  Extremely ironically enough, I have judged that it shall complete around the 4th or so, which happens to be the current plan to have him back.  I am looking forward to it, and hope his chick friend from California is not coming back then, for then I would have been defeated by a woman.  Errg.  That would not be cool.

Remembering the Never Remembered

     That reminds me, something really special happened when I was up in the land of Yeast and Cheese™.  It happened the only time I got drunk.  Er, no, not that.  I was staggering into his room, and I had made some comment how I wanted him to play me some Floyd.  I was slightly persistant if I remember the story right, and then, I crashed hard core.  Now while I was zonked out, Stingray had made a promise to me.  He promised me he would get my Floyd, even though he did not have it, and it took him over 2 hours until he found it, and when he did, and I was asleep... er, crashed out, he decided to just play a list of things he had, including my Floyd.  A promise... one he could have easily not followed through with, and I would have not known any the better.  He kept it, and that meant so much to me.  It is a rarity that someone would keep such a promise, having to go through so much hard work, and he did.  At the time, Napster was around, but you had to use the crazy insane band and song names to find them.  If only more people on this planet would take from that example.  All he has to do is work on his testosterone level, mwahaha!!
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