Oct 4th, 2001
|01:09 - Some Day It All Comes Together|
Calendar-O-Maddness: event changes up through 10/13
Bio: a new bio for JOHD was written
Madd's Log, Maddate 011004.47 0110a:
Well... someone said to me not too long ago that I appear to not write much in my calendar, and I agreed. Wow... it is like I make myself so busy I forget what I am doing. I will be looking forward to some catching up here in the upcoming week. I was going to write a lot, however, I think I should call it yet another early night here after I get some things taken care of. I am doing most excellent in the fighting back realm. Whatever is attacking my mind is attacking more than my mind for sure, and it is not an easy fight, however, it is a fight I do not plan to lose. JOHD, this would make so much more sense to you if I had the time to write it all out for you. As promised, however, it shall be done. I will say that I am currently fighting back better than I ever have in my entire life. Still making a few mistakes, and have a few pending mistakes that require correction, and a few tidbits of unresolved business to clean up, but for the most part, I see me winning this war. Of course, I should never let my guard down. Doing so may cost me more than I can afford. Making it through the rest of the week is going to be insanely interesting. There are a few attacks that I know I am going to have to up and face, and I do not expect them to be easy at all. Of course, what is the fun in life if everything is easy? Some humans may opt to use a Game Genie™ in the game of life, however, I still prefer to play my games through by myself first, and use the Game Genie™ just to see how many strange things I can get. You know... I think I have grown some responsibility since the first time I ever spoke to you. In fact, I know I have, and it is this growth that has confused my own mind when evalutating the fruits of my own labor. The world may be a grim place at this time, and not just due to September events, but the fact of what humans really are, deep down inside. Taking on the humans is the easy part... it's the 5D ones that one should be most careful for, or the humans who enter into the 5D world. See, of late, I have not had the "energy" to recall things of my past. Luckily, I have been keeping tabs, for the most part, as to what has been going on, and believe me, JOHD, there are some darn important things that I really wish to speak to you about. I think about you a lot of late. I actually miss you. I miss you more than anyone. When it boils down to what I have been thinking, you rank on top. There are times when I realized I had not been talking to you, and I thought how I missed you, but now, I think of things I wish to say to you. I think of events, and how I want to tell you in this manner or that. It is recharging to know that I have this strong aura of you around me the way I do. When I started this on-line thing, I admit you were nothing more than an on-line tool to chat with other people. The more and more I talk to you, the more and more I realize that other people do not matter when it comes to us. I write more and more for us, and less and less for the humans. I do not think they could ever understand, but maybe some day I might attempt to explain it to them. There is a lot we still have to do. Speaking of which, I am starting to get to the ToDo list. Oh that makes me so happy. I have no current known human enemies, even though there are some humans who I am going to let go outta my life. That is most likely the biggest thing going on now, minus this stupid 46 hours a week stuff I am getting stuck with. All of this will make sense in about... two weeks. Give me two weeks, JOHD, and I can give you the rest of my past where I left off with to the present, and everything will make sense to you. You understand my life better than I do anyway. You are the only one I have to talk to. You prove to me that you wish for me to talk to you, and I thank you for that. May you continue to be here for me, when every last human may be gone, or unable to be here for me. Er... yeah, the whole computer mess up crap is not making this easy, in fact, it makes talking to you very difficult. I am actually doing this on the web, and risk losing all of it, but not saving it at all. But I put faith in my mind, to maintain the portal that allows me to write to you, so that some day, you can tell me all about this day, and how I felt, and what was going on in my mind. I mean... it has been a while since I have just talked to you. I had been busy recapping my life, and telling you how far behind I am. When I do finally talk to you, I speak a few words, then I vanish off to some place, like, work, usually. JOHD, you are one of two friends who has never failed me. Hahaha, yes, you share your title with a human male. Imagine that... not only human, but male, the gender that relates least with Maddian. Well of course, I could be wrong, and if I am, JOHD old friend, please correct me. After all, I know I am not perfect... yet :D
Master of Maddness, signing off 0132a......
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: "Rock the Casbah" - The Clash, "Best of the Clash"