|14:50 - Subject Extra|
So, for the first time I am aware since Jarin started living two hours away, Jarin showed absolute sadness that he would be leaving me. Before leaving for work and to drop him off at grandma McDonald's house, I told him that I was going on vacation and he would not see me for a while. So he started getting upset and said that he wanted me to "stay here" with him. One of the biggest issues I have had (non 3rd party related) is regarding Jarin's "lack of interest" in me of late. I hear how he gets upset when he is leaving there to come here, when he gets here many times he is already asking to go see grandma or someone else.
I understand the concept of a child's mind. That is the reason when I discipline him and he drops the "don't love you" or how I am not his best friend anymore, it does not phase me. Oh I will still give additional discipline because I realize he is being hurtful on purpose. The boy is smart enough to know how to be deviant when he does not get what he wants. Hmm... anyway, that is one thing. When he is not, then it shows that he is not attempting to be hurtful, but simply has priorities that "throw" me down a peg or two. I want Jarin to be very happy. I would prefer it not be at my own expense. So this was a welcome change. I feel bad that he is sad he will not be around me, yet that is overpowered by a feeling of being wanted by my own kid. Unfortunately, someone I know has not connected the full grasp of what this means. Maybe some day that person will have it click in the mind and realize, "Wow, that really does suck, and maybe it would be wise I watch what I say or how I reply to Madd's concern."
On a different note, I am stoked for my trip to the land of Yeast and Cheese™. I think I was boned from some partial vacation time, however, I am not going to deal with it now because it is pointless. I think it would be easier to convince Jarin to always listen to his mom and dad than to have that properly worked out. No matter, I flex my lunch away, and still have a little packing to do, yet I feel more prepared for a trip than I ever have. This is exciting! I am hoping I do not forget anything. The PS3 non-HDMI connector does not count as I simply do not know where it is, so, I will have to... borrow one, from Wal-Madd. I normally forget a charger or something. I might as well pick up my toothbrush tip I forgot at Wally Madd as well as D batteries for the keyboard. While my plan is to make it before midnight, I am not sure that is going to be possible. I have about one hour to prep and leave to potentially make it to my final destination on time. If I do, it will be a record, something not ever done by me before. I plan a trip, I make it when I say I will. Wow, Reality as we know it may cease to exist!
Current Location: 925 High St, IA 50309
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: eh