Madd Martin L Kroeger (madd74) wrote,
Madd Martin L Kroeger

Part Duh

So, in comes part two, a smashing scene filled complete with nudity, adventure, and while no swallows, I think there might be mention of a starling (um, yeah, for those who just met me, I like movies and quote them, minds out of the gutter, than you much).

I would like to point out to what appears or most likely will be soon, a blatant slaughter of grammar as I am "unable" to maintain proper tense. Well, there are things mixed from the past, present, and since I know what I do now, future. Plus, I just moved this sentence in front of the other, bring a new meaning to foreshadowing. Thus, JOHD, let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Ali. Er, Alienesse as you know her, however tax-wise known as Nicole. As noted, I came to this epiphany (or so I think/thought/am about to think) that I wanted kids, to truly settle down, and make life work. I was hoping on the station wagon to Canada for some French fries and gravy... almost made it. So next day from my mind finally appearing to pick itself up, I am on my computer and get an IM... at the same time I am sending an IM... to the same person, commenting on the same subject matter (that's my soon-to-be-from-that-time girlfriend). We both were rather "impressed" at the fact this happened. We ended up chatting a bit, which is nothing new to us. Ali and I have been talking to each other since 2001. In fact, she is the reason I found LJ. At that point, if I was writing, it was all simply electronic trans-scribbles in a word processor.

Well, through talking, I was given an impression of someone who went from the "eh" about kids and really settling down to "yeah, I'd buy that for a dollar". I decided to use the aggressive marketing approach that failed with Jennifer (day late and a few months short) on Nicole instead. It appeared to work. I saw that she had a sense that I was not fucking around. I meant what I said and I said what I meant... oh, and something about forgetting and an elephant, but I usually forget how that last part goes. Well, not breaking too much interpersonal information to the web, let's say maybe I was slightly TOO aggressive. There comes a time where something is said out of content, things are worked off that content, and then things go from there. In this case, it went down south a little. There was also a plan to come visit. Oh yeah I didn't mention that one yet. I am so getting ahead of myself, because my brain has a problem putting life sequentially. How about I see if I give it a shot?

So, we IM chat, find we might be a great pair, have a twenty-four hour falling that gets fixed, decide we are going to have a visitation, have a slight tiff here and there, things get better, then there is an absolute turn of events. I say turn of events, however would like to remind the crowd that because one person has it, does not mean the other one does. In this case, I thought what Nicole really wanted out of life was no longer what she really wanted, while she thought some of the things I was saying were definite facts of concrete life that I was not deriving from. Once again, struck down due to the evil powers of misunderstanding. I think if people could be run by computer code, and when a function call to misunderstanding() could be eliminated, then the human race would be at peace, and people would most likely never break up when together, because they would not get together in the first place with people they otherwise should not be. Anyway, misunderstand would turn into uncertainty, and as I generally find, when one has uncertainty in the mind, then the glass goes from half full, to half empty, to "why or why was someone drinking my water, no!!" I certainly am not an exception to this rule (despite multiple people seeming to think I see myself as perfect). So I become uncertain of us. I think there is a case of uncertainty with her. I, of course, end up asking questions and making comments that, since are from a negative perspective, come out wrong. So many more problems in the work.

However, the great thing about her is that at some point we talk. So we have yet another deep and brain hurting talk that is working both of our brains rather intensively. A lot of it is subject matter of me attempting to explain myself. I tend to have to do that a lot with a lot of people. I hope when the universal translator comes out (from Star Trek), that besides translating alien languages, it also translates Madd to English. That would make my life extremely simplistic. People would get me. People would understand. Well, anyway, Nicole would want some time, and I would give it to her. From that point on, things have been fantastic. In fact, since the start of this entry (a few days ago, I am slow), I feel things are even stronger between us. I think some aspects of me are better understood, yet I know we still have some ways to go before we are both completing each other's sentences. I literally had that only once, and it was with a guy (no, not that, ya pervs). It is a mind soothing experience, to know at least one human people out there really gets you. I do not see anything that extreme as a requirement in a relationship, however, it certainly is a wonderful bonus. My plan is to show and express myself in a way that my girlfriend will mentally be more comfortable understanding the words that are coming out of my brain. One of the big things there, is the "Word autotranslator". That is when I say a sentence, and the word is automatically translated by the other person. For example, I keep spelling "sentance" and word keeps correcting it. Also, being dyslexic, I switch a lot of words around, and thanks to the miracle of autocorrecting, I am doing a lot less spell correcting. If I write a huge long 900 page paper, and autocorrecting is on, then that much time is saved not having to go through and correct all of the errors. I would like my relationship with Nicole to be the same. I say, "You smell like a bug" and she somehow realizes I am not insulting her, and she laughs, as opposed to getting upset with me, since... um... what in the world does that mean anyway? My word my examples are slipping. I think I could use another beer... er, I mean, use some beer when I am not working, of course.

[insert]Oh yeah, I forgot, we do have plans to meet up here, hopefully within the next month, even though obviously that is dependent on my work schedule.[/insert]

So, I think I summed up this chapter rather well. I am more than certain I am missing something important. That tends to happen. I have a girlfriend. I love my girlfriend, and if I am lucky, some day I will marry my girlfriend and have a family with her. Oh look, now the world knows... maybe...
Tags: alienesse, catchup, children, communication, dyslexia, family, girlfriend, im, marriage, monty python, more tags than you can shake a stick at, people reading, quotes, relationships

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