Madd Martin L Kroeger (madd74) wrote,
Madd Martin L Kroeger

The Wrong Calendar

I have, for the longest time, prided myself on the fact that I do not give up. I am strong, persistent, patient, and these things help me not give up in things in life. However, the fact of the matter, is that I have been wrong. There are some important things in life that I had given up on, and gave some sort of excuse to myself to say that I did not give up. Of course, I have given a lot of excuses for a lot of things. I have recently been on the other end of this, where I get excuses of things towards me instead of what I want, "You know what, I apologize and am sorry." No, "Well, I was hopped up on coke when I came over to your house and stole and crashed your car." More and more I learn to appreciate how to interact with other people by "getting a taste of my own medicine". With all the pain and suffering I have gone through in my life, it is more important than ever to ensure I do not cause the same pain as I have felt.

We really are a selfish people. It is absolutely amazing we have not destroyed our own selves. I mean, I know we have tried. No matter how much understanding I put into the mentality of life, and how much comes back making sense... in the end it all really does not make a lick of sense.

I am tired. I love the little parking cards, even if I had to pay $5 for it, and even more so I currently have to pump cash into it since the credit card thing is not working. The internet is skipping. Oh sorry, the Internet is skipping. What makes the Internet so important that it deserves to be capitalized? It would seem that is a rather inconvenient truth. Um... I think my mind just stepped out for a second. If water had the same properties as all other matter (it's a molecule), then the world would not exist. At room temperature, it should be a gas. Also, water is the only substance whence you take its solid form and put it in its liquid form that it floats. Everything else, when you put the solid into the liquid, it sinks. If water conformed to this standard property, it means that in cold areas, water would freeze, sink to the bottom exposing more water, which would freeze, and sink to the bottom, to the point that there would no longer be any water, only ice. I imagine life would stop existing, or maybe more appropriate, never had a chance to exist, just due to the building block of life, water, acting... different. I had a cat who acted different once. His name was Wiskers. Oh STFU, Word, that is how I spelled his name back then, simply due to my inability to excel in spelling. He use to get abused, a little. I was only 5-6 at the time I got him. He use to take trips down the stairs in boxes. These were unscheduled flights with the final destination being either a wall, or the floor, depending on where we lived at the time. In his defense, I also went down the stair in similar boxes, and I think garbage cans. I have absolutely no clue the reason I ask Jarin what he is doing when he decides to do... strange things. He is a boy. He is curious how things work. Have I totally lost my mind or facilities when I cannot, for the life of me, think back far enough to know what made me do what I did as a child boy explorer destroyer? Oh yes, children have a few designed personalities that classify them. Jarin, like his father, is "child boy explorer destroyer". Wow that takes a toll on a house. I wonder what I should do for lunch today. Why *is* the Internet skipping? Holy fucking shit I am at work and just heard Jen's phone go off. I wonder how I am going to successfully tag this entry? Why do I enjoy being an exhibitionist? Oh dear, my lunch is over...
Tags: excuses, humans, jarin, jen, life, madd was wrong, philosophy, psychology, rambling, self-exploration, tired, wiskers

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