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Sep 23rd, 2001


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04:32 - I Know You Didn't
Calling All Madd's Log, Maddate 010923.7H:

     [EVENTS distant long term future] Here it is, almost like the old days?  JOHD, the only difference is those crazy tags, man.  Those crazy tags.  That is okay, I can dig it.  Do you remember that one time... back... and then he... and I said... exactly.  hEhEhE... it think it funny we have a Summer working for us just due to that, you know?  I wonder who is all here right now... "uh-oh" I hear!  Hmm... I do not think so.  There was so much on the way over here.  Oh so much... JOHD... I freed myself.  I really do feel so much better.  Hey, and look, I did it.  Oops... I did it again.  Okay, so you remember the drill, right?  Oh baby, I so hope so.  Any Momentary Lapse in Reasoning... oh man, are you telling me yuou didn't take notes??

{bitch slaps Madd}

Thank you sir may I have another.  Hey, remember that Summer story you were talking about back in Scene 24?  Oh yeah, Maddie, that one.  Oh yeah, that other one also.  It all started Final Fantasy.  Actually, wait, she had pants down, he reminded Madd that.  Yeah, the mud all over everything.  The condom on her... but it was actually... oh yeah, you catch me now, don't you.  Final Fantasy, that is where it technically started, for the purpose of the story.  I saw into her eyes, JOHD, that was back in "The Day".  I uses to use that power a lot.  It was all the protection I think I would have ever had to have created.  Better protection than abstinance.  Oh sure, they say it is 100% safe, but I think there was this... Mary, would might want to argue that different.  Back then, they must have thought little of it, I mean, seeing fire and brimstone, water parting.  It is like, "Yeah, there was this one time I was playing baseball against this dude, dressed in with, sandles, think he said he was a carpenter.  We bet all nine of us could take him on, but look at us... losing 1-0.  Think it would have given us a home town advantage.  The fact there was only one of him, having to field.  You know what happens when you never even touch the ball for 9 innings?  Well... it's called a predictible 27 at bat.  Period.  You know what the people outside on the playing field get to do?  Get paid to hit a piece with some wood, then going out and standing in grass.  Cows do that, never heard anyone call a cow by name and put how he is chasing Sammy Sosa down the road."  Now that is safe.  So what is the point, anyway?  It is all for the meaning of life.  Not going to find it in a Final Fantasy... unless of course, you look in the wrong place.  Look at the humans, Madd.  You are such a blind idiot some times.  I mean... you have allowed the tainted walls of your living screen filter through your flavorite channels.

     This is the reason I like free.  Iowa City Gal might figure it out, I think if anything, she is confused, and attributed.  After all, how many people give birth to babies without ever having vaginal penetration sex before hand?  Never happens... well... I guess it depends where you look, eh? Thank, you, JOHD, for being around long enough to tell me.  I was thinking those thoughts again...  hahaha, you so have no clue what I am talking about yet, do you.  Reminds me that one time I never went to the future, and told me about that exciting investment in life.  When he took that light, how pretty it made our room look.  But he just looked at us, went, "Eh?"  Too bad he is not as predictible as he use to be, I kind of liked that.  There was this one time... at fourth grade... and I had that story... but it never borrowed anything.  Just the greatest cat to ever have been born.  Never to be replaced.  That is like, my grandfather dying, and I would sit there, looking at the casket and his so called lifeless body, sitting there.  Sure, I was around 14 or so, but all formal operations are constructed around the age of 12th. 

=============================================================================
@ALBUM: animals
=============================================================================
Pink Floyd: Animals (1977)

all lyrics by Roger Waters

@SONG: Pigs on the Wing (Part 1)

If you didn't care what happened to me,
And I didn't care for you
We would zig zag our way
through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain
Wondering which of the buggers to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing.

@SONG: Dogs

You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need
You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street
You gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight
You gotta strike when the moment is right without thinking.

And after a while, you can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
A certain look in the eye, and an easy smile
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
So that when they turn their backs on you
You'll get the chance to put the knife in.

You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder
You know it's going to get harder, and harder, and harder as you get older
And in the end you'll pack, fly down south
Hide your head in the sand
Just another sad old man
All alone and dying of cancer.

And when you loose control, you'll reap the harvest that you've sown
And as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone
And it's too late to loose the weight you used to need to throw around
So have a good drown, as you go down alone
Dragged down by the stone.

I gotta admit that I'm a little bit confused
Sometimes it seems to me as if I'm just being used
Gotta stay awake, gotta try and shake of this creeping malaise
If I don't stand my own ground, how can I find my way out of this maze?

Deaf, dumb, and blind, you just keep on pretending
That everyone's expendable and no-one had a real friend
And it seems to you the thing to do would be to isolate the winner
And you believe at heart, everyone's a killer.

Who was born in a house full of pain
Who was trained not to spit in the fan
Who was told what to do by the man
Who was broken by trained personnel
Who was fitted with collar and chain
Who was given a seat in the stand
Who was breaking away from the pack
Who was only a stranger at home
Who was ground down in the end
Who was found dead on the phone
Who was dragged down by the stone.

@SONG: Pigs (Three different ones)

Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are
You well heeled big wheel, ha ha, charade you are
And when your hand is on your heart
You're nearly a good laugh
Almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin
Saying "keep on digging"
Pig stain on your fat chin
What do you hope to find?
When you're down in the pig mine
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh
But you're really a cry.

Bus stop rat bag, ha ha, charade you are
You fucked up old hag, ha ha, charade you are
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass
You're nearly a good laugh
Almost worth a quick grin
You like the feel of steel
You're hot stuff with a hat pin
And good fun with a hand gun
You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh
But you're really a cry.

Hey you Whitehouse, ha ha, charade you are
You house proud town mouse, ha ha, charade you are
You're trying to keep your feelings off the street
You're nearly a real treat
All tight lips and cold feet
And do you feel abused?
...!...!...!
You gotta stem the evil tide
And keep it all on the inside
Mary you're nearly a treat
Mary you're nearly a treat
But you're really a cry.

@SONG: Sheep

Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away
Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air
You better watch out
There may be dogs about
I've looked over Jordan and I have seen
Things are not what they seem.

What do you get for pretending the danger's not real
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel
What a surprise!
A look of terminal shock in your eyes
Now things are really what they seem
No, this is no bad dream.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me down to lie
Through pastures green he leadeth me the silent waters by
With bright knives he releaseth my soul
He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places
He converteth me to lamb cutlets
For lo,m he hath great power and great hunger
When cometh the day we lowly ones
Through quiet reflection and great dedication
Master the art of karate
Lo, we shall rise up
And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.

Blasting and bubbling I fell on his neck with a scream
Wave upon wave of demented avengers
March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

Have you heard the news?
The dogs are dead!
You better stay home
And do as you're told
Get out of the road if you want to grow old.

@SONG: Pigs on the Wing (Part 2)

You know that I care what happens to you
And I know that you care for me
So I don't feel alone
Of the weight of the stone
Now that I've found somewhere safe
To bury my bone
And any fool knows a dog needs a home

=============================================================================
@ALBUM: Atom Heart Mother
=============================================================================
@SONG: Atom Heart Mother Suite (Instrumental)

@SONG: If

If I were a swan, I'd be gone.
If I were a train, I'd be late.
And if I were a good man, I'd talk with you more often than I do.
If I were to sleep, I could dream.
If I were afraid, I could hide.
If I go insane, please don't put your wires in my brain.

If I were the moon, I'd be cool.
If I were a book, I would bend.
If I were a good man, I'd understand the spaces between friends.
If I were alone, I would cry.
And if I were with you, I'd be home and dry.
And if I go insane, will you still let me join in with the game?

If I were a swan, I'd be gone.
If I were a train, I'd be late again.
If I were a good man, I'd talk to you more often than I do.

@SONG: Summer '68

Would you like to something before you leave?
Perhaps you'd care to state exactly how you feel.
We say goodbye before we've said hello.
I hardly even like you.
I shouldn't care at all.
We met just six hours ago.
The music was too loud.
From your bed I came today and lost a bloody year.
And I would like to know, how do you feel?
How do you feel?

Not a single word was said.
They lied still without fears.
Occasionally you showed a smile, but what was the need?
I felt the cold far too soon in a wind of ninetyfive.
My friends are lying in the sun, I wish I was there.
Tomorrow brings another town, another girl like you.
Have you time before you leave to greet another man
Just to let me know, how do you feel?
How do you feel?

Goodbye to you.
Childish bangles too.
I've had enough for one day.

@SONG: Fat Old Sun

When the fat old sun in the sky is falling,
Summer evening birds are calling.
Summer's thunder time of year,
The sound of music in my ears.
Distant bells,
New mown grass smells so sweet.
By the river holding hands,
Roll me up and lay me down.
And if you sit,
Don't make a sound.
Pick your feet up off the ground.
And if you hear as the warm night falls
The silver sound from a time so strange,
Sing to me, sing to me.

When that fat old sun in the sky is falling,
Summer evening birds are calling.
Children's laughter in my ears,
The last sunlight disappears.

And if you sit,
Don't make a sound.
Pick your feet up off the ground.
And if you hear as the warm night falls
The silver sound from a time so strange,
Sing to me, sing to me.

@SONG: Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast (Instrumental)

=============================================================================
@ALBUM: Dark Side of the Moon
=============================================================================
@SONG: Speak to Me (Instrumental)

@SONG: Breathe

Breathe, breathe in the air
Don't be afraid to care
Leave but don't leave me
Look around and chose your own ground
For long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be

Run, run rabbit run
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Don't sit down it's time to start another one
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.

@SONG: On the Run (Instrumental)

@SONG: Time

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
And shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desparation in the English way
The time is gone the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can (madd)
When I come in cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

@SONG: The Great Gig in the Sky (Instrumental)

@SONG: Money

Money, get away
Get a good job with more pay and your O.K.
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a football team

Money, get back
I'm all right Jack keep your hands off my stack.
Money, it's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit
I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet

Money, it's a crime
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're
giving none away

@SONG: Us and Them

Us and Them
And after all we're only ordinary men
Me, and you
God only knows it's not what we would choose to do
Forward he cried from the rear
and the front rank died
And the General sat, and the lines on the map
moved from side to side
Black and Blue
And who knows which is which and who is who
Up and Down
And in the end it's only round and round and round
Haven't you heard it's a battle of words
the poster bearer cried
Listen son, said the man with the gun
There's room for you inside

Down and Out
It can't be helped but there's a lot of it about
With, without
And who'll deny that's what the fightings all about (madd)
Get out of the way, it's a busy day
And I've got things on my mind
For want of the price of tea and a slice
The old man died

@SONG: Any Colour You Like (Instrumental)

@SONG: Brain Damage
The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path

The lunatic is in the hall
The lunatics are in my hall
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'till I'm sane

You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

@SONG: Eclipse

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All that you feel
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All that you save
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy
beg, borrow or steal
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say
All that you eat
everyone you meet
All that you slight
everyone you fight
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

=============================================================================
@ALBUM: The Division Bell
=============================================================================
@SONG: Cluster One (Inst)

@SONG: What do you want from me

As you look around this room tonight
Settle in your seat and dim the lights
Do you want my blood, do you want my tears
What do you want
What do you want from me
Should I sing until I can't sing anymore
Play these strings until my fingers are raw
You're so hard to please
What do you want from me

Do you think that I know something you don't know
What do you want from me
If I don't promise you the answers would you go
What do you want from me
Should I stand out in the rain
Do you want me to make a daisy chain for you
I'm not the one you need
What do you want from me

You can have anything you want
You can drift, you can dream, even walk on water
Anything you want

You can own anything you see
Sell your soul for complete control
Is that really what you need

You can lose yourself this night
See inside there is nothing to hide
Turn and face the light

What do you want from me

@SONG: Poles Apart

Did you know...it was all going to go so wrong for you
And did you see it was all going to be so right for me
Why did we tell you then
You were always the golden boy then
And that you'd never lose that light in your eyes

Hey you...did you realize what you'd become
And did you see that it wasn't only me you were running from
Did you know all the time but it never bothered you anyway
Leading the blind while I stared out the steel in your eyes

The rain fell slow, down on all the roofs of uncertainty
I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me
And did you know...

I never thought that you'd lose the light in your eyes

@SONG: Marooned (Inst)

@SONG: A Great Day For Freedom

On the day the wall came down
They threw the locks onto the ground
And with glasses high we raised a cry for freedom had arrived

On the day the wall came down
The Ship of Fools had finally ran aground
Promises lit up the night light doves in flight

I dreamed you had left my side
No warmth, not even pride remained
And even though you needed me
It was clear that I could not do a thing for you

Not life devalues day by day
As friends and neighbors turn away
And there's a change that, even with regret, cannot be undone

Now frontiers shift like desert sands
While nations wash their bloodied hands
Of loyalty, of history, in shades of grey

I woke to the sound of drums
The music played, the morning sun streamed in
I turned and I looked at you
And all but the bitter residues slipped away...slipped away

@SONG: Wearing the Inside Out

From morning to night I stayed out of sight
Didn't recognize I'd become
No more than alive I'd barely survive
In a word...overrun

Won't hear a sound
From my mouth
I've spent too long
On the inside out
My skin is cold
To the human touch
This bleeding heart's
Not beating much

I murmured a vow of silence and now
I don't even hear when I think aloud
Extinguished by light I turn on the night
Wear its darkness with an empty smile

I'm creeping back to life
My nervous system all awry
I'm wearing the inside out

Look at him now
He's paler somehow
But he's coming round
He's starting to choke
It's been so long since he spoke
Well he can have the words right from my mouth

And with these words I can see
Clear through the clouds that covered me
Just give it time then speak my name
Now we can hear ourselves again

I'm holding out
For the day
When all the clouds
Have blown away
I'm with you now
Can speak your name
Now we can hear
Ourselves again

@SONG: Take It Back

Her love rains down on me easy as the breeze
I listen to her breathing it sounds like the waves on the sea
I was thinking all about her, burning with rage and desire
We were spinning into darkness; the earth was on fire

She could take it back, she might take it back someday

So I spy on her, I lie to her, I make promises I cannot keep
Then I hear her laughter rising, rising from the deep
And I make her prove her love for me, I take all that I can take
And I push her to the limit to see if she will break

She might take it back, she could take it back some day

Now I have seen the warnings, screaming from all sides
It's easy to ignore them and G-d knows I've tried
All this temptation, it turned my faith to lies
Until I couldn't see the danger or hear the rising tide

She can take it back, she will take it back some day

She can take it back, she will take it back some day

She can take it back, she will take it back some day

@SONG: Coming Back To Life

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun

@SONG: Keep Talking

For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals
Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination
We learned to talk

There's a silence surrounding me
I can't seem to think straight
I'll sit in the corner
No one can bother me
I think I should speak now
I can't seem to speak now
My words won't come out right
I feel like I'm drowning
I'm feeling weak now
But I can't show my weakness
I sometimes wonder
Where do we go from here

It doesn't have to be like this
All we need to do is make sure we keep talking

Why won't you talk to me
You never talk to me
What are you thinking
What are you feeling
Why won't you talk to me
You never talk to me
What are you thinking
Where do we go from here

It doesn't have to be like this
All we need to do is make sure we keep talking

Why won't you talk to me
You never talk to me
What are you thinking
What are you feeling
Why won't you talk to me
You never talk to me
What are you thinking
What are you feeling

I feel like I'm drowning
You know I can't breathe now
We're going nowhere
We're going nowhere

@SONG: Lost for Words

I was spending my time in the doldrums
I was caught in the cauldron of hate
I felt persecuted and paralyzed
I thought that everything else would just wait

While you are wasting your time on your enemies
Engulfed in a fever of spite
Beyond your tunnel vision reality fades
Like shadows into the night

To martyr yourself to caution
Is not going to help at all
Because there'll be no safety in numbers
When the Right One walks out of the door

Can you see your eyes blighted by darkness? (madd)
Is it true you beat your fists on the floor?
Stuck in a world of isolation
While ivy grows over the door (madd)

So I open my door to my enemies
And I ask could we wipe the slate clean
But they tell me to please go fuck myself
You know you just can't win

@SONG: High Hopes

Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun

Along the Long Road and on down the Causeway
Do they still meet there by the Cut

There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide

At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our wiery eyes still straight to the horizon (madd)
Though down this road we've been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist growing
The water flowing
The endless river

Forever and ever

=============================================================================
@ALBUM: The Final Cut
=============================================================================
@SONG: the post war dream

tell me true tell me why was jesus crucified
is it for this that daddy died?
was it for you? was it me?
did i watch too much t.v.?
is that a hint of accusation in your eyes?
if it wasn't for the nips
being so good at building ships
the yards would still be open on the clyde
and it can't be much fun for them
beneath the rising sun
with all their kids committing suicide
what have we done maggie what have we done
what have we done to england
should we shout should we scream
"what happened to the post war dream?"
oh maggie maggie what have we done?

@SONG: your possible pasts

they flutter behind you your possible pasts
some brighteyed and crazy some frightened and lost
a warning to anyone still in command
of their possible future to take care
in derilict sidings the poppies entwine
with cattle trucks lying in wait for the next time

do you remember me? how we used to be?
do you thing we should be closer?

she stood in the doorway the ghost of a smile
haunting her face like a cheap hotel sign
her cold eyes imploring the men in their macs
for the gold in their bags or the knives in their backs
stepping up boldly one put out his hand
he said, "i was just a child then now i'm only a man"

do you remember me? how we used to be?
do you thing we should be closer?

by the cold and religious we were taken in hand
shown how to feel good and told to feel bad
tongue tied and terrified we learned how to pray
now our feelings run deep and cold as the clay
and strung out behind us the banners and flags
of our possible pasts lie in tatters and rags

do you remember me? how we used to be?
do you thing we should be closer?

@SONG: one of the few

when you're one of the few to land on your feet
what do you do to make ends meet?
teach
make them mad, make them sad, make them add two and two
make them me, make them you, make them do what you want them to
make them laugh, make them cry, make them lie down and die

@SONG: the hero's return

jesus jesus what's it all about
trying to clout these little ingrates into shape
when i was their age all the lights went out
there was no time to whine and mope about

and even now part of me flies over
dresden at angels one five
though they'll never fathom it behind my
sarcasm desperate memories lie

sweetheart sweetheart are you fast asleep, good
'cos that's the only time that i can really talk to you
and there is something that i've locked away
a memory that is too painful
to withstand the light of day

when we came back from the war the banners and
flags hung on everyones door
we danced and we sang in the street and

the church bells rang
but burning in my heart
my memory smoulders on
of the gunners dying words on the intercom

@SONG: the gunners dream

floating down through the clouds
memories come rushing up to meet me now
in the space between the heavens
and in the corner of some foreign field
i had a dream
i had a dream
goodbye max
goodbye ma
after the service when you're walking slowly to the car
and the silver in her hair shines in the cold november air
you hear the tolling bell
and touch the silk in your lapel
and as the tear drops rise to meet the comfort of the band
you take her frail hand
and hold on to the dream

a place to stay
enough to eat
somewhere old heroes shuffle safely down the street
where you can speak out loud
about your doubts and fears
and what's more no-one ever disappears
you never hear their standard issue kicking in your door
you can relax on both sides of the tracks
and maniacs don't blow holes in bandsmen by remote control
and everyone

[[Train your Brain]]


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