January 12th, 2007


Captain Bendo

Madd's Log, Maddate 070111.47:
-return JAMAH
-DVD TV: House
-ready for bed
-little X play list: Wargod Mars \ forgot
-FFXI/360: connectivity problems
-TXT Kellee: love
-Bomberman/wi: brick walk thru greatness
-Wii Sports/wi
-ready for day
-1500,work: 30 min OT \ expensive parking \ forgot phone \ 5 min late OT
-1525,OT released: moved Alex
-the work email compromise
-cleaning: work desk
-lunch: Jen/O w/ phone \ caffeine
-FFIII/ds: annihilated
-FFV/gba: ditto

So we returned home, and very early I might add.  Jen was not able to get through a showing of House.  Before hand, she was clinging to me, as I was showing that I was not 100% happy at the closing of the night.  At the same time, I was not angry or ticked off or anything of that nature.  I liked this House episode.  Oh yeah, I have liked all of them thus far.

We went to bed, and I do not remember the last song I played for little X.  Sorry about that little one.  At least you heard it, that is what counts most.  Sleeping was a bitch as I felt as if I could not breath through my nose.  Stupid sinus cavity.

After waking up, I really woke up to some yummy porn.  I tell you, I am as glad as shit my penis is not as big as that black dude’s dick is, because that thing is a monster, and I am sure I would have been turned down on some of the oral I otherwise have enjoyed in my days.  I wonder what that feels like, I forgot, hEhEhE!!  Who am I kidding, I forget about everything it seems.

After taking care of my manhood, I took care of my other favorite past time.  FFXI is being a massive companion, to the extreme.  I can even legitimately say this, because I pay money and they are screwing me.  I had a female dog of a time logging in.  I also had a little extra time for Lumines, as work called to say 30 minutes of my OT was released.  During this time, I was doing TXT with Kellee.

One thing I had come to realize a long time ago, is that once I love someone, I love them forever.  I may not stay in love with one I once was, however, when I do love, it stays.  I had made a reference to Kellee that I still loved her, and she was speechless.  Now, I am not sure if she was taking it the wrong way, like I want to up and marry her or something, however, I do not love her to that extent.  She was an important part of my past.  She is one of a few who I actually dated.  Dating is the only thing I can count with my hands, and do not have to use toes, and other extremities.  I mean, I still love that evil pile of flesh known as the Evil One.  She is the last human I would expect to still love.  When I think about it, I know I love Robin/Q, Capp, Kit, and all those in my past who I do not even get to talk to anymore.  This concept of love makes me think about love when the situation arises.  I start to wonder, people who say they love someone, and then they no longer love the person, do they really love them?  I question that they do, that they really felt love in the first place.  I think they felt more obligated, at the time, to tell the person they love them.

Oh yeah, the ending conversation dealt with me answering her question about me being happy about the choices I have made in life, where I am, and a block like that.  My response was that I have had issues, well known, when I was not sure I really wanted to be dating Jen, or her having my child.  There have been some tough times, yet, as noted to Kellee, right now, I am content with life, I am well.  I know, that does not make sense, being content and well.  I know there are a lot of choices I could have made, and a lot of things in my life I would like right now.  I mean, there is always room for improvement, and as long as it feels that way, being more than content is difficult.  Still, I am happy with Jen.  Despite the problems I have had with her, and the firsts I thought I would not ever tolerate, I love her, and when she has had her nap, I enjoy being around her, hEhEhE!  Does my wit have any end?  One of the qualities that Jen possesses is Madd-ismns.  The things she does with little X, the way she attacks me with her belly, a lot of the things that grown ups otherwise do not do.  Well, grown ups who act grown up.  It is truly a powerful trait, and she nails it rather well.  Some times when I have been pissed at her actions, this thought gets shoved in the background, however, when I say I am ready to leave her, I think it hides in the background instead, managing to find a way to remind me the reason I truly choose her, to have a child with her.  Oh yeah, plus the fact I thought I was shooting blanks, hEhEhE!!  I assure you when older, little X is going to hear about that :p

I ended up being 5 min late for work (Zelda was worth it), and they had me down for being 15, again.  Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, that first instance of not making it to work on time, the next day, the schedule showed that I was on time, so, thank you God for that one!  Since they released the rest of my OT five minutes before my actual tour started, I decided to fly out of the building and move Alex.

I finally have dropped my AHT down to 335.  It was originally riding around the 400 or so mark, and I had been working hard to bring it down.  So, despite that retard from yesterday, and the business that have a few hundred lines and want them all checked because they are too stupid to know what line is bad, I have done well, very.  My availability is not meeting, however, of late I have done an excellent job of getting that up more.  I have done this even without the help of our high and mighty new rules.

This whole work thing bothers the shit out of me.  There is so much work that I want to get done, things like bills, and all of that other important stuff, like putting customers on hold to chat with Jen and dITZ, or seeing what sex spam bot is friending me on myspace.  Wow, “bot” and “friending” are not recognized by Word, imagine that.  Work just wants to push us away, they really do.  We had the email yesterday about how these changes are all for the customer, because how does reading while helping a customer actually help a customer.  I would almost buy into his shit, except, when you extend that I cannot move my car on a break, or have “things” during my break, how is that NOT helping a customer?  All of a sudden, your words and logic no longer seem to apply to what you are saying.  When you first tell me that some people cannot multitask, so it is not fair to let anyone have a book, I understand.  Then you tell me I cannot have my laptop in use when I am on my lunch, something YOU are not even paying me for, and it seems like you have a different plan than helping the customer.  Last time I checked, a happy employee is more apt to help a customer positively, than a grumpy customer.  If you are telling me I cannot do anything without wasting six or so minutes to get away from my desk, I once again ask you, how does this help my customer?  I tell you some things it WILL help.  It will help you to control me.  Oh yeah, ask Jen what I think of people who I feel are attempting to control me.  She has plenty of stories on how I have gone crazy on that (even when things are not necessarily her fault).  It will help you push me away, to want to get a new job.  Well, seeing as how you pay me $23 an hour, I guess controlling me does you a shit load of good, if it means you will have to replace me and my kind with $8.50 and hour clones.  Do you see where your actual actions appear to me?  You are too busy attempting to save this company money to care about that, though, are you not.  I guess it means, the more you enforce it, the more you do what your company most likely hired you for.  Keep this in mind.  The government hired Scully to debunk Mulder and his work.  While that was her initial purpose, after she opened up and lived her own life, she managed many seasons entertaining millions, while making her pockets nice and deep at the same time.  Think on that one, Chuck.

Oh yeah, have I mentioned that this entire entry was done out of policy?  Wii!!  Oh, attention JOHD, it seems that Windows is upgrading their status as a virus.  Raine, while in defiance with me, ended up rebooting.  I thought it something of a bad file or whatever causing her to go insane, however it soon was noted to me that, “Windows did some updates, and even though you may have had extremely important work that you would not ever be able to reclaim, we decided to restart your computer without your approval.  Please note this is curtisy of the GREAT Windows Live One Care that you installed.  We hope this annoyance gets you to buy our product, especially since it is the second time, at the least, we have done this to you!”  Go screw yourself.  I will be damned if this crap gets put on any of my computers, and I can assure you that your performance will be blogged to millions.  See how pissed off I am, I actually used the word blog, the forbidden word that pisses me off.  You, Microshit, just happen to piss me off more.  You want to tell me how to run my computer, as opposed to letting me run my computer, for last time I checked, I am the one who paid you money, not the other way around.

Another thing out of policy was I played FFIII.  I did this because I can close the cover, and since it is a ds game, it goes to sleep, meaning the clock on the game does not keep running.  That is right, those hours put in are really me playing!  I have not played for all year.  The game really is not that bad.  I have a few issues, like the fact I have this decently powered white mage with no raise spell, or apparently no access to any of the higher white spells.  I also enjoy the job system in FFV more than FFIII, because it lets me mix up things I have worked hard for.  That is why I play V more than III.  The fact Square put in three totally cool new jobs to V makes it even that much more crack-like.  Go Sqaure!

Edwards/Q came over to visit.  I had noticed he was also screening so I sent a pop to go screen Uranus.  Tee-hee, I am funny!  Well, he dropped by, told me not to be on my laptop, where I basically told him to blow me.  He did, he sucked, and in the bad way.  hEhEhE!!  No, not really, I would like that comment struck from the records.  Anyway, we both talked about the Hitler tactics of the company, and how they are just attempting to get the work force to up and give up and quit, so that they can rehire at a third of what they are paying us now.  Or maybe half, who knows.

Well, the night ended on a sad note for as far as the world of handheld video gaming goes.  In FFIII, I was playing for some time, having fun getting back into it, and then I got up to Giggledick, and ended up getting fried, literally, as I was lightning to death.  I only had about a minute after, and picked up FFV to run into Omega and be instantly slain.  Sucks to be my team, eh?  Master of Maddness, signing off......

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