September 25th, 2006


Maddass: The Sequel

Madd's Log, Maddate 060924.75:
-0000,return pad
-not ready for bed
-FFXI/pc: mission trickery!
-ready for day: minus teeth
-El Rodeo’s
-good deed: picture return failed
-house accessory shopping
-return pad
-Copper Creek: pick up Spark
-movie: Jackass 2
-DVD movie: Reality Bites \ disrupted due to ill
-return pad
-not ready for bed

So I returned home, and since Jen was sleeping in the other room, I decided to “clean up” the 360.  I had downloaded a few things, and decided to go through some demo’s.  I deleted a lot of them, however ended up playing Dead Rising.  That game is pretty darn funny.  I am not sure where the demo puts you, however, I will say that I got to take some nice pictures of some zombies, as well as smash them over the head with potted plants and cash registers in the mall.  I am not sure if it was as nice as throwing CD and jewelry at zombies.  Speaking of zombies, one stumbled into my room in the form of prego Jen.  She had sent me an email that I was to wake her up, however, she looked so peaceful, passed out in my bed, naked, fully exposed, watching TV.  Some of it also stems to where these days, the more time she spends sleeping the better for both of us.

So that went on for a while, and while I did not go to bed early, it was not late either.  It was early enough, however, that I was up and about well before noon, and that usually is not a good thing for Madd.  I ended up playing FFXI for some bit.  Well, for some, it was more too bit than wanted.  Jen, for some reason, took my comment about the difference between walking from one city to another (like almost an hour?) compared to using a Chocobo (which would be like 13 some minutes) as how long I was going to actually be playing.  From this, she was hungry and started to get crabby.  It was not yelling and screaming crabby, however, it was still crabby.  We have even talked about the fact, that my place does not accommodate her eating habits, and that if she is going to be around so much, she should have food over that works for her, so when she gets a hungry attack she has something to eat.  I get very hungry myself, to a point of almost getting delusional.  However, like many other strange problems of mine, I dick around, and it need not just be video games.  I go to do something, and I end up doing various other things.  I do not quite understand the behavior, so I prepare for it.  She is going to have to learn to do the same.  Of course, being in an actual house I realize things are going to be a lot different.  As I was in the shower, I could hear her breaking down.  I kept saying, “baby, come here” as I was in the shower, and realized that it COULD have sounded like I was calling her a baby, as opposed to addressing her with endearment (baby, dear, sweetie, etc).  She did end up coming in, and attempted to clean my ass by sticking the shower curtain up my ass.  hEhEhE, crazy female dog, that was not what I meant.  Of course, I did not specify, now did I.  When she is not screaming and yelling, she is a lot easier to deal with.

So we headed to El Rodeo, since Tasty Taco was closed, and I SO wanted a steak taco.  If Jen was nicer to me more often, I might have opted for a breaded taco ;)  hEhEhE!!  Well, on the way, noticed there was a picture and receipt or something like that.  I decided to track her down and return her stuff.  I so knew I would get grief for it, however I ordered a monster margarita.  Sure enough, it boils down to Madd getting to do what Jen does not.  You know, when you accept the fact you want a child, you accept every aspect of it.  You accept, as a mom, that for nine months, you are going to be restricted to your activities.  Well... a good mom, I should say, as there are plenty of mothers out there who continue to do the retarded things that they do.  I did not ever peg Jen out to be a bad mother.  I pegged her to be an EXCELLENT mother.  Not a good (or even well, hehe).  Not average, and not above average.  I pegged her, from my talks with her, to be excellent, and you know, she proved that very much.  The problem is when you switch it to a relationship.  She talks how I do not have to go through these restrictions, which is true.  Right now, there need not be a physical reason for me to stop any of my activities.  I understand how it would be nice if I “lived” in her shoes, and you know, that in itself lies some of the problem.  She talks and talks (when she is angry or irrational) how I am basically doing nothing, yet my party schedule AND my sleep schedule HAVE changed, and you know, I get very little acknowledgement for the things that I have done.  Furthermore, when it comes to existing with the rest of this world, I live on the principle that (for the most part) I treat others exactly the way I would want to be treated.  If I was not able to go out and have a good time, but someone I claimed to be in love with could, I would more happy for that person at least able to go out and have a good time.  I would prove, through action and not talk, that since it was possible, there you go.  It saddens me a lot when I think how Jen is not happy for me, and does not want me to be happy.  Her jealousy of something *I* am jealous of overrides that.  What is there to be jealous of?  My word, she gets to experience something so cool that a movie series (later gone TV series) uses it as its main point.  “There can be only one.”  The quickening.  That first time the baby let’s you know, “hey, woman, I’m moving in here!”  Yes, at some point, I will get the honor of feeling little X kicking, and hiccupping, and other activities further down the road.  However, she will have that which I have wondered about all my life.  All those times in my existence I explained how much I loved having a penis, and glad to be a guy, only to have a change of heart here and there, because I wanted to experience carrying a child.  God decided I would not be allowed this.  As far as I am concerned, He decided to give me a few other luxuries.  She talks about how I do not understand because I want to go out and drink... how much does she understand how painful it is that *I* do not get to experience what she does?

Wow, all that through in my head over a drink.  Yes, well, a lot of that has been built up for a while, and it is good I got it out.  JOHD, you are so good to me.  Well... as we were eating, it appeared more that I was the pregnant person than her!  I had all this food (which, had onions despite my asking of none) in front of me, and a large drink, and she had two plates... two... with small little tacos on each.  I found it humorous.  We talked a bit as I was working to suck down my drink.  Many times, it reminds me of the Wal-Mart time when I was narced on by some management-ass kissing associate.  I drank one when I was hanging with Jenno, and went back to Wal-Mart where I ran into Myles in the break room.  I passed out on the table, and later that day went to work.  Then I get pulled into the office and am asked if I had been drinking, which I state I did have a glass three hours before my work schedule, and if they had a problem with that.  Yeah, that was all I heard about that, hAhAha!!  Master of Maddness, laying the law.

So after food, we went to attempt to return the picture to the address shown on a receipt found with it.  Well, that turned up a dead end, so I will have to track her down later.  We drove, and ended up at American.  I have not, to my recollection, ever been to one before.  I did not realize they did electronics as well as furniture.  It was fun to walk around.  My flipping word, JOHD, they had fridges large enough to PUT fridges in them!  They were super cool, however until father dies and leaves me millions, I am not be able to afford a house to put these huge things in.  It is not like I would want one.

So after that we headed home, and I went to lay down, and I passed out.  I did not get around to calling Myles because of this, and for that, it would mean schedule conflict.  When I went over, he was not there, he had run to the store.  I was on a time frame due to Spark and the movie.  So we watched X-Files, however we were unable to complete.  We had the last chapter of the episode left.

So from there I drove to pick up Spark, and went to see the movie.  It should be noted, that at this point, I was not feeling up to par.  When I originally woke up, I felt groggy.  After X-Files, I noticed I started to accumulate a headache, something very not normal.  The movie?  It is Jackass... people being stupid to each other and others, testing human pain, and human endurance.  I enjoyed it, actually.  A few of the practical jokes were funny.  Yes, some of it was stupid, however, that is what I come to expect.  I know Spark was happy to see John Waters, almost as much as I was to see Jay Chandrasekhar make a show.  Well, towards the end of the movie and after, my headache got worse.  We made it back to Spark’s, and I took a few aspirin, and continued to watch Reality Bites, and after a while something did bite me, and I was going to go home, however I did not make it far before I threw up... six some times.  It was... interesting, to say the least.  It is not as bad as I sometimes remember, and maybe that is because I was not drunk this time, even though, many times being drunk made it easier, tee-hee.  This would normally depend how drunk I was or what I was drunk on.  Shit, drunk enough, and I could puke out my liver and not feel it.

Anyway, it was lights out for me.  I drove home, almost wishing I would crash into something to put me out of the misery my head felt.  For the record, that is all that it was, bad headache.  I am so use to not having them (unless massive drinking with little sleep), that when they hit, it sucks ass.  My thoughts were that I might have caught something from Jen.  Of course, it COULD be the fact she has felt so bad, and I am sure what I threw up, amount, was about as much as her, and this is that damn sympathy crap my body has been known to do.  I still think the pain in my arm since July 19th is similar to this.  Eh, all I know, is that not long after I went to bed, I would go to bed.  Yes, well before midnight.  As I was about to dose off, the phone rang, it was Jess who has some strange issue going on I am not yet aware of, however, would have to be addressed another time.  I was dead, and it was time to act like it.  Unfortunately this would mean that I would miss my daily entry {sigh}.  Master of Maddness, signing off......

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