Madd's Log, Maddate 060112.47
-LJ comment ketchup
-sing Down With the Sickness
-return to pad
-ready for bed
-ready for work: minus teeth
-1430,work: expensive parking
-pop Jess: problems with ex advising how to raise child \ no big deal \ notes we have not made out before \ reflects to saying too aggressive when kissing when Juan was here
-pop Whatever/Q: says sad that need a deadline to listen to a CD
-FFIV/gba: beat game 2nd time \ unlock party favors
-sing Money: Lyndsey/O win’s song shot guess
So I caught up with past LJ comments, all the way to like October, hehe. I may not get things done right away, however, I do not give up, that is for sure. So at this point I was starting to feel rather well. Larry/BJ and I would have an excellent chat. A lot of it dealt with boobs and women. The women would include Arwen. You know, it has been a long time since I have heard or thought of that name. Granted, she is associated, to my knowledge, to Final Fantasy Tactics music. I thought about how time heals things, and I pondered whether I should attempt to just say hi and she how she is doing. While I did not ever love her, and we have had issues in the past, I only feel it right I give everyone more than one chance. Even Arwen, despite what we have been though. Oh yeah, I think it funny how Larry/BJ has an issue with you, my friend, due to my default icon. My mighty State Fair Floyd caricature frightens him. Yeah, we can tab that one up to some form of rationalization excuse, haha!
So, in returning to my pad, I would continue a habit, which I hope I am breaking in, getting ready for bed! Well, it would suck that I would fall behind to the point of getting ready for the day and not getting my teeth done. It would turn out to be a smart move, as I would just make it into work, oh yeah, and get some expensive parking to boot. I would get to talk to Jess, who would be infuriated at her ex, who wants to continue to be a butt, as I hear. He seems like a lot of guys of his kind, who go for power trips and want to control things. We would also talk about some things between us, in how I had not ever made out with her. I found that very strange... I felt we had, and she felt that we had not. While our definitions are not the same, I can see where she is coming from. In all honesty, I feel I have really help fuck things complicated between the two of us. I cannot help but wonder, deep down inside, what it is like to be a woman, and to have interest in me. I cannot help but wonder what it is like to see a Madd through the eyes of another being, where the brain works so much different than my own. I must look so... well... I really am not sure how to say it. I am not sure how to put it into words. Hmm... things to think about. Anyway, I care for and love Jess so much, and it pains me to think of the strains that I have put into her world. Come to think about it, I have done so with many. I know many times the decisions I make are the better for those I am with. I know how difficult I can be, from a mental stance, since I am so hell bent on certain ways of being. Ways of being that revolve around large aspects of my logical interpretations of the world. Whatever happens with Jess and I, I can only wish her the best for her life, because unlike many I have come across in less than a years time, she deserves so much for being such a wonderful human being. She also makes the best gravy, HAHAHA!! -lol- Madd, that was just wrong. Yeah, I know, it’s just cool to do.
I would have some chat with Whatever/Q, and she would make a reference to it being sad that I require a deadline to listen to a CD, the CD being her choir CD that I have listened to a little bit. I commented how it is unfortunate some people just cannot understand what it is like to go through what my mind goes through. The stress and pain I go through is unbearable. It really is. I must say it fortunate for me that I am so upbeat, because one of the biggest reasons I have done what I have to help correct my spacey brain is because of the caring I have for my friends, and not wanting to put them through the stress that my absent-minded thinking can cause. However, to have people make a lot of the comments that they do, when they know I have mental issues that I work hard to deal with, is just uncool. That is my story and I am sticking to it. Of course, she would just pass it off more like it was a non-serious comment. She might be correct, and maybe it was, however, truth behind any sarcastic remark.
A bit of interesting work related information would have my manager come up next to me while I was at a call. I figured by the time he got to me that I would be chatted about regarding process on my stats or something of that nature. Instead, he actually told me to hope into the business queue. Now, at this point, it is actually rather funny, as the business queue is almost worse than the residential queue. The fact he did so, did make me happy.
Well, I figured out the reason I was not able to open any of the doors with my new party. It seems in order to do so, I have to beat the game with the party members that I want to go to the special lunar ruins with. I was very pleased as I thought I was not ever going to figure out the reason the other people could open the door. On another game related note, I would encounter my worst fear on FESS. SPIDERS, and I am talking, a spider the size of half a screen. Now I know why Jess got me this game, hEhEhE!! She wants to scare me to death, and steal all my sperm when I die, and make a super race of mutant Madd Martin clones, and infuse Samus DNA in them, and use the clones to fight in tournaments for pleasure, money, and beer! Mwahahahaa!! My brain is on fire!
What better way to put out a fire in my brain than to go to the bar and douse it with beer! So, obviously, I would do this. Some people thought I was already lit, not realizing I came from work. The clock was getting closer to that most excellent of days, and I was getting more and more excited! Oh I tell you, my birthday may mean shit, and Christmas and Thanksgiving and the like may have lttle meaning to me anymore, however, Friday the 13th will always be a most anticipated day for Madd!! To prep, I realized that I had not sang Money forever and a day, so I would sing that, and chat a few with Josie/O, Lyndsey/O, and Kristy/O, as well as the other locals and regulars. Master of Maddness, signing off......