December 25th, 2005

ani-moo cow

Closed for the Holidays

Madd's Log, Maddate 051224.68
-trip to Davenport
-deep thoughts about Jess
-not ready for bed
-ready for day
-cable movie: Kill Bill Vol. 2
-cable movie: Blade 3
-cable movie: Elf
-cable movie: Anchorman
-Cold Duck run: everyone closed for holidays
-Larry Bob’s
-sing Another Brick II
-sing Puttin’ on the Ritz
-munchie run
-return father’s

So, after playing 360 a bit longer than expected, I would finally make the trip to Davenport.  Shortly after taking off, I would do the courtesy of giving Jess a call.   She was in the middle of something, and let me go.  In doing so, it gave me a large time to think about the future of Jess and Madd together.  I thought about what it was that had us together, and I thought about what would take us apart.  I thought of her interactions with my own self, and compared it to possible interaction problems.  I thought about as much stuff as possible, so that I could end this hang that has been between us, so I know, move on, or move in.  Due to the nature of the information, I have decided to chat about it in another post, since I know you have a tendency to talk a bit to humans, JOHD :D  To that, however, I at least wanted to tell you right now of a little background on her.

Jess... I ran across her on Maddate 050615.38.  I got a pop from her, which in itself started a world of drama, involving Jennifer/Q.  She told her to pop me to state that Jennifer/Q was not being ornery. This is the time she was telling me I should assume more.  HAHAHA!!  A human, telling Madd, that he should assume more.  Then, she went a little into my bedroom etiquette.  You know, my bedroom etiquette is absolutely great.  On the top of the scale for men, and well above average for females.   Not once have I told some lie to get some woman in the sack to fuck her brains out.  In fact, hardly ever have I even ASKED a woman for sex.  Not once have I given the false intent that I had feelings for a woman, in hopes to seduce her into the sack.  I have felt that I have been rather clear where I stood with a woman if we ended up having sex, and once again, I do not make that first move, once again, for that same very reason.  Women who have had sex with me, WANTED it, some times, so badly, that they beg and cry for it, and this not just be because it is with Madd Martin, but the fact, they are human, and want fucked just as much as most guys out there do.  Not once have I had sex with a woman, and then up and not ever contact her again.  Yes, I am forgetful (a warning I now post while getting to know any new human), and I space things like calling and the like.  However, I have worked well to not let things like that happen with TXT messaging and at least leaving a call the next day or so.  Where has that left me?  That has left me with women who no longer talk to ME any more!  If anyone wonders the reason I blow my lid when I listen to a woman yap their fucking jaws on how guys are such assholes and the like, I present to you exhibits D thru AK.  I’ll happily present them with plenty more.  Plain and simple, it’s a fucking human problem, and some humans interact better with other humans than other humans.  I get so fucking sick of hearing that, I do!

hAhAhA, and once again you crazy fucking bastard, you are well off on a tangent.  Sure, this is your brain, however, I *would* appreciate some organization if you would?  So back to where my brain was, I get this pop from a girl, and I pretty much well know of her, as I knew her when she was back in Des Moines, and I know that Jennifer/Q talks about her a great deal.  So when I get a pop from our not-so-mystery friend, I am not totally off base.  We chat a lot, and while we are not 100% a like, we share a few fundamentals and I am overly impressed with who she is as a person.  I believe what stood out the most (two things) was that she had this sense of confidence (nothing like mine, however more so than average) and more importantly, the man she was last in love with, who dropped her, she still talks positively about.  She does not take the route of man-bashing, as many humans do (as I know many guys who get dumped by a female do the same thing).  That highly impresses me.  Well, also, she keeps chatting with me, quite a bit.  While I was not thinking any sort of dating at the time, I was overwhelmed with curiosity as to who she is as a human.  As days would go by, I would enjoy more and more what I learned about her.  She seemed inquisitive, not as massive as myself, however once again, more so than my usual human friends.  All these great things, with the added fact that she is a kind, caring, and compassionate human being.  She is also a most excellent mother.  While I have not had a chance to see too much interaction between her and her daughter, not once have I heard her make any references to how her kid is a bother.  I cannot tell you how many times I hear a mother talk down to her child, or talk or refer to how much a burden the child is, you know, the child that did not ask for mommy to go sleep with half a football team without using protection, and then smoke, drink, and everything else, that makes the child hyper-everything.  So in lieu of that, let’s blame the child for the behavior too.  Oh, but men are the pigs on the earth!  Grrrrrrr.  So yeah, she definitely is not that, and that attracts me to her so much.  Yeah, her nice hot bod and face are added benefits.  Of course, no matter how great a human being is in this world, when it comes to dating, it usually boils down to the Madd factor.  That factor that encompasses the fact, that some personalities simply do not work with me in the long run.  It has nothing to do with how wrong or messed up another being is, it is a simple matter of fact, of me.  That is where we are now.  No matter how cool and great a software program is, and how cheap, if your OS (me) does not run the software (them), then the software is useless on that system.

Despite how great and wonderful I am as a person, especially to the outside world, there are some character flaws that do not go well with the rest of earth.  My procrastination, my obsessive nature with truth (which is normally the ender for any attempted relationship),  my OCD-like qualities in how I run my own life, such as playing a new video game every day, wanting to do lots of things in a specific way (saying ditto instead of I love you right after being told), and many other things, tend to make life with Madd Martin difficult.  Luckily, my over-obsession with the truth is so strong, that anything of a truthful nature can be used against me.  The same goes with my massive over-use of logic to dictate my world.  Find some logic, and it can be used against me also.  However, a lot of these things are difficult on a human.  Going thru the process of dealing with all of me on a day to day basis is no easy task, and some times, I believe that a large part of women I encounter, who pick up on this, are more compelled to simply prove they can handle it.  It is like, someone finding out this hot male is gay, so she works even harder to sleep with him, to prove “I am so great I got a gay man to turn hetero”.  Or a girl who stays with an abusive male because, “he is really sweet, and I know I can change him”.  How this plays a fact with women I have come across is unclear.  I do know, however, that the people who appear to mesh with me easiest are people who also live in a logical world.  I have used logic to explain feelings and compliments.  Jess has noted how it almost makes the compliment or feeling less than usual.  I agree, from the standpoint, that she does not live in a world of logic.  In fact, I believe that people who live in the same type of world as I do, basically find it MORE a compliment.  Someone who would tell me they are in love with me, and take that route to logically spell it out, as opposed to use the cop-out that most humans do, could possibly mean more.  Instead of saying I am great and sweet and all these things, which is easy to say, to take the time to process out all the points that make the feeling the way it is, just is wonderful to me.  Someone, however, does not have to live in a world of logic to be with me.  I simply feel that it helps put everything into perspective, and most importantly, it makes it easier to understand me.  Jess and I have an understanding problem.  I feel that there is more understanding issues with her understanding me than the other way around.  This is no exact fault of her own, as I strive to understand the workings of the universe.  Part of my life journey, is to understand people.  Also, as stated, she does not live in a world of logic.  She understands it better than many, however, that does not mean it is enough that the two of us could co-exist for, “until death do us part.”  So a lot of that and more went into thought on the drive to Davenport, which would turn into a rather quick drive, I might add.

I would make it there, and this time the door lock was not changed on me like last time, haha!!  After going to sleep, watching some great Tivo programming, I would wake, and shortly after, father and I would start watching some on demand cable programming.  As much as I dislike Mediacom for their continuous price spiking, and crap of that nature, I sure enjoy On Demand.  I enjoy watching TV with father.  We would watch so much of it, that by the time we would get out looking for Cold Duck for tomorrow, we would find, everyone closed, or not packing the heat... er cold.  So shortly after, we would head out to the bar.  Yay!  If there is one thing I very much enjoy, is playing pool with my old man.  My game was actually much better than it has been in a long time.  Unfortunately, that did not include scratching, as I did that a lot, including the eight ball.  Also, while the drinks were not as high-class as my own, they were certainly not skimpy.  I could taste alcohol, and that means there must be a lot, hehe!

We would end up at another bar, a very small one.  They were actually doing karaoke, a first for any place I went to in Davenport.  I put in a request, and I played some pool.  My scratch record would meet a new-time high.  This would include not only regular shots, but also the eight.  My word!  I shoot some of the greatest shots in the world, and sink the queue at the same time!  Damn it!  Also, since we are on the subject of amazing craziness, this would be the first bar I would see with almost no songs to sing!  They had Another Brick in the Wall II... mind you, I did not add Happiest Days of Our Lives.  Yes, just the end part of the duo.  Father was actually impressed with my singing, as was the DJ.  He wondered if I would come back to sing some time, I said sure, next time I leave Des Moines, hehehe!  I looked for a final song to sing... no Rawhide, no anything!  The one song I would have sang easily was Hotel California, however the girl before me started singing it right after I put in my ticket.  With hardly any songs in the book, no surprise :D  So I ended up singing Puttin’ on the Ritz.  I tell you, these people must not hear people pull out the non-country-already-sang-19-times-in-the-last-minute songs, haha!  That or my great Des Moines voice is too much for them, mwahaha!!

While I was not drunk to the point of passing out, I was drunk enough to be hungry, and since I knew father had very few drunk munchie snakes, we stopped to get something before heading back to his home.