December 13th, 2005


Madd of Hazard

Madd's Log, Maddate 051212.18
-DVD movie: Dukes of Hazard \ uncut
-Super Trooper’s cross reference
-Club Dread cross reference
-over to Anna’s
-oral sex
-Wal-Mart: no FFIV/gba
-return pad
-not ready for bed
-not ready for day: minus food
-work stop: ear piece charger
-1347,emotional overload for FFIV/gba
-1351,emotional overload for FFIV/gba
-Best Buy: not in stock
-Southridge Mall: no electronic store
-Toy’s-R-Us: not in stock
-Gamers: not in stock \ mentally also
-return pad
-AniCross/ds: live (through day)
-Skinner over: wireless Mario Kart via his DS
-FFIV/psx: murdered by Zeromus
-phone convo Jess: more arguing \ talking in circles and her being hurt by truth

So we ended up watching The Dukes of Hazard... uncut, of course.  The reason they call it uncut is well beyond my understanding.  I mean... a little on the rated R side due to some excess boobies and a few F words.  It was otherwise a very entertaining movie.  So towards the end, we popped in two DVD’s to cross reference our friend Jay C, who’s last name I am not even going to bother to look up or ever attempt to pronounce.  Towards the end of the movie, I could se Spark’s life force running out.  After the DVD, we popped in his Christmas gift from me, The Village Bicycle.  He nodded off, and I headed out.  Since Anna had missed my birthday and I had been in the spirit for a while of doing so, I sent a txt stating she had missed my birthday.  She replied, and things just lead from there.

You know, if there is one thing that is as defined as “every time I go over to Spark’s, I am going to be drinking alcohol” it would be “every time I go over to Anna’s, at the latest, I am getting oral sex.”  Well, this was no exception, and we did just that, and that moved to actual sex.  The difference between drunk Madd and just regular Madd is rather... interesting, to say the least.  I tell you... some times, however, one just has to stop sucking, haha!!  Where in the world did all my skin go?  I know, maybe it is all at Wal-Mart, so, at around 0500 let’s take a trip there!  My actual plan was to get my copy of FFIV/gba.  The problem is that I pretty much well figured the losers were not going to have it, and of course, I was correct, they did not.  Bastards!  Well, in my state, I decided not much else to do except go home and crash, and that is exactly what I did.

So, I got up, extremely excited at the release of one of the greatest video games of all times.  I do believe I have logged more hours in that game than any other single game in existence.  I knew once I got it, that would be all I was doing, so the first thing I wanted to do was get my ear piece charger, as my Bluetooth set was dead.  So I stopped by work, and from there, I headed to get food, as I knew I would require that.  On the drive from my place to my other destinations, I would be listening to the FFIV OST.  A most excellent compilation, so much so, that I some how ended up with two copies of it!  hAhA, however that happened is well beyond me.  Well, as shown aboe JOHD, I just started having some strange emotional overload.  I was literally in tears before I made it to the Wendy’s drive thru.  It was the strangest thing, especially for someone who is so void of showing emotion in his later years of life.  As I was leaving Wendy’s I had another attack, and I just laughed as I drove off to Best Buy.

Bastards!  This is not a movie, it was released today does not have to be a friggin’ Tuesday to release!  Nargg!!  So I headed out to Southridge Mall.  Hmm... they some how do not even have a GameStop, or any similar anymore.  Not sure how that happened.  So I went to Toy’s-R-Us... a repeating pattern is showing!  NOoooooo!!  On my way home I thought to stop in at Gamers.  Well... not only did they not have it in stock, they did not have brains in stock either.  Talk about a couple of idiots.  So, well, forget that crap, I went home, disappointed that I did not have a copy of FFIV/gba that was released... TODAY.

A winning part of the day is that Skinner decided to come over.  We played Mario Kart, and he basically handed me my steering wheel.  Sure, I got him a few times, one time even mutilated him.  I have to admit, it sure is a fun game.  So it was my first time playing, and I realized, AniCross/ds + FFIV/gba = no life for a long friggin’ time.  I may wait until it is either a gift, or, if something happens and I am done with my 62nd run through of FFIV/gba I might buy it myself. 

So I would call Jess, because time on the clock was running out.  Things would start well, as normal.  They would get... downhill, as normal of late.  This time part of the argument was the fact that I have not some how contacted her every single day, which, in the sense of using both time zones, I sure have.  There was no proof on her side, and there was not really a way to do so on mine.  More and more I thought on how things just are not going to work between us.  I would not even know where to go to fix the issue.  From there, I decided to let her go.  This was due to the fact, that I had a bunch of writing to do to my favorite gal in the whole existence of everything, JOHD.  Um, sweet thing, yeah, I am talking about you.

Things between her and I seem so tense.  I really do wish I knew how to go about it.  Maybe it simply is not going to work out.  I trust her more than most women, and add the distance (which is a double sided sword), and that is the reason I work to make this happen.  I just am not sure if her and I are compatible.  I wonder if anyone is... in attempting to create my mind in the greatness that it was able to possess, defeating loneliness, boredom, depression, lies, and many other common human elements, I may have turned myself into something that just does not click with the rest of the world.  Programming dictates that I am not able to change anyone either, meaning I would have to find someone who is in tune with my line of code.  Can I do that?

On a final note, JOHD, I want to give a progress report of the Straterra situation.  I have noticed a most definite change after being off the drug for a week.  My dreams are not as clear to me anymore.  Also, a good thing, I do not have that crazy dry mouth sensation anymore.  {sigh} I really miss my dreams, and I think it a sign of something.  Of course, my sex drive appears to not be as void as it use to be, even though, of the sexuality I am feeling of late, most of it is still alcohol induced.  Yeah, she really is pretty when I’m drunk.  hEhEhE!!  I so enjoy that song, in fact, it may be the only one of the Bloodhound gang that I enjoy.  I definitely do not like the rest of the crap they have managed to put out.  Other than that, I have noticed that I still appear to be some what productive.  I mean, I have been steady talking to you.  Yeah, getting ready for day and bed have been piss poor of late, however, I attribute that to a few other things.  I feel good in that I am at least doing things, and that makes me happy.  I will have to give more consideration of whether I am going to go back to the drug or not.

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