June 27th, 2004


Human the Bold

Back in the days, JOHD, I would claim anyone attempting to understand me was a rather... bold person, for lack of a better word.  Oh stop with the thesarus crap, I barely can spell the word!  Anyway... with the entry of Renata and Starr back into my existance, and the loss of Melissa and Robin, and the introduction of Whatever/Q and her extremely lengthy and enjoyable conversations, with a twist of Gem and dITZ, and some thoughts of where Gretl is going, and the silent eworld of Riede, and the topping of God and His great web gem plays of the day in favor of my life... I think I have come to the conclusion of many things.  I would also like to thank Alex and Grand View for this, since they both have (or soon will) contributed to that of which I am really wanting of life.

For a long time... I wanted things.  Actually, I wanted something or some things, and was not sure what it was.  Life, this large complex structure of Realities that attempt to mesh one into another to form a sub Reality that can live in existance with other sub Realities.  All this going on stuff.  All these interactions.  I know what really makes me happy in life.  It is that which I was deprived of when I was growing up.  No set of siblings, in any way shape or form, can compare the existance of an only child.  None, not a single one, and I know this mainly due to the brief 3 year period when I was "not an only child".  I got a taste of the life which I had always been denied.  This deny, of course, was no fault of my mother.  Obviously, if it was, then I would not have been blessed with the oppertunity of Heather.  While by law, I may no longer be declared an only child, the practical fact is when a "sister" is introduced into my life at the age of 15, when I already have developed the majority of who I am going to be, and then later have that person interact with me, that I am indeed an only child.  However, JOHD, it gave me a very good look into what I could have had as being a sibling.  The two step monsters were thrown in to "mimic" what they would have been like would they be closer to my age.  I tell you, being an only child is something that does a lot two one, and I better understand why I analyze and am the way I am.  Some could argue that the Madd of now would not be as such if siblings were thrown into my Reality, and I admit, that many aspects of Madd would be lost.  However, the biggest aspect of what I want out of life in the first place would be achieved.  I would have what I want.  The thought of a girlfriend, or even a wife, I feel, would be far from anything.  I would have it, and it would be legal, and nothing but death or the witness protection program would be able to stop it.

Appriciation, JOHD, is something that I would have fought and argued with you.  It is not something that I really look for nor would I care about.  However, let's take the Madd approach to show just how wrong I am.

Madd, why did you quit Wal-Mart?  Do you remember your reason for leaving your comfy job and moving to the world of telecommunication?  I can assure you not for computer reasons.  I also can assure you not for video game or game related reasons.  In fact, you had a better chance at gaming at Wal-Mart.  You went looking elseware because of your EXTREME frustration of not being appriciated of what you did.  What did you do, Madd, do you remember?  Of course you do!  You do not forget everything, haha.  You did customer service.  You are damn good at it.  Of course, if you said that in public many would call you egotistical, so let me assure you that you are not.  It is simple fact.  Customers went to you, as did employees for the answer to questions, because you showed the skill.  It was darn good skill, also.  You could have sold ice to eskimoes.  Oh wait, that is not what we said, that is what others said!  Hey, I think they are on to something.  Man, you are as sharp as a board tonight Madd, haha!  Hey, just kidding.  Hey!  Put that drink down, maintain low tones!  Okay, anyway, there was something very wrong with this picture of customer excellence... I know you remember that, you even voiced it.  While you were shown appriciation by many of the customers who you helped when no one else could (or would, because they felt they were too busy and the like), no one else seemed to.  Sure, you got a raise, however, it was more of an insult than anything.  They cared more about profit than taking care of those who help MAKE the profit happen.  While it is true, that the customer is the boss and the customer is the one who makes the paychecks happen... without the loyal worker bees to get the customer to the right place, answer the questions, and all that other wonderful customer rappor building skills... just HOW is the customer going to shop?  If you treat customers like crap, what are they going to do?  They are going to shop elseware eventually, and the "boss" is going to find someone else to pay.  Who does that?  The managers?  HAHAHA!!  Wow, that was so funny that if you were wearing pants you might have peed them.  No, the loyal worker bee.  That floor associate.  YOU.  I cannot say all floor associates are the same way, after all, not everyone strives to give out such excellent customer service.

So it boiled and boiled... and continued.  You started to dislike the work.  You started to complain, you rebelled.  hahaha, MUTAINY!  Yeah, many managers started to get aches and pain when they worked with Master-O was working on their shift (haha, thanks Sparky I like that nickname).  However, standing up to management and the piss poor dicissions that have nothing to do with customer service was not enough... something was STILL messed up.  Something wrong.  Oh yeah, you still were not appriciated.  The managers who actually did appriciate were gone or were doing different shifts.  It got so bad you did something that is totally not you.  Got off your lazy ass and did something about it.  You looked for a new job.

Why is it in Ghost he goes through walls and everything but NEVER falls through the floor? Hmm... dude!!  He fell on his arse!  With a thud.  Blarg...

Anyway... you got it!  New job!  Things went for a while, and you know... the inevidable would happen.  Little to no appriciation.  However they did something to make up for it, more money.  However, you feel that in the pit of your stomach?  Not, it is not gas... Madd, you want to move onto a new job because your job does not appriciate you.  No appriciation.  Oh keep your call time down... yet, do all these millions of things that take 4 minutes, excluding what the CUSTOMER actually wants.  Hmph.  Sound like anything else you know?  Robin... Melissa... oh no, Madd, it does not stop there.  I bet you, if you WERE appriciated more, you would fight for some of these "okay, Madd, I am going out the door... I am leaving... I am waiting for you to say something."  This should tell YOU something buck-o... start SHOWING more appriciation.  Okay... I am done telling you how wrong you have been, haha, back to you.

Hmm... so I like appriciation.  Fine... I will accept that.  So now, someone tell me why.  Come on, JOHD, you want to sit here and tell me how wrong I have been, how denial I have been.  Oh please, do not stop there.  I cannot figure it out.  Well let's take a look.  Hmm... hmm... nope, unable to figure it out.  Oh well... at least I did figure a few other things out.  I know a large part of what makes me happy is having purpose in life, and that purpose comes in the form of helping others.  Those times I felt really down in life, I noticed in many of them... I was not helping anyone.  How to help?  Just listen.  No one wanted to talk.  What makes it so enjoyable?  I did not have that growing up.  Obviously, no brothers or sisters to talk to, moving all the time before things could be established with friends.

Hey I am kind of tired, I do not want to think much any more, let's talk about something else.  It is about darn time that something good be on Cartoon Network in the late hours of the night.  Tom and Jerry, how excellent.  Jerry should call Nuckles on every single episode he has trouble with him.  I just do not get it.  Oh yeah, I was going to talk to you about women, since you know, you being a girl and all.  I finally figured out what I wanted in a woman and why I have had so many issues in the past.

Wait a second!  I forgot he did not have to call Nuckles, just put on his clothes and whistle.  I saved money by NOT switching to Geiko... AH!!  Michael Bolton, noooooo, I'm melting, I'm melting...
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