November 16th, 2003


A Word From Our Sponser

(note to God and humans)

I am in a bit of pain, and nother short of Floyd tickets for the reunion that will happen soon (thanks in part to my 5th Dimentional Thinking) is going to change that.  I could possibly battle the pain, like I have been for a while, however, I am not going to attempt to.  I state this not to ask for sympothy or "I'm so sorry to hear that".  I post this so humans understand the reason that I may not be in the normal cheery mood that Madd is infamous for being in.  Well, not the reason, however, so that humans do not keep asking me "Madd, what's wrong?"  There still seems to be a good amount of people concerned about my well being, and I would not want Ellen/Q to think I was going to end my life like she did last time I said "I was leaving" or something like that.  Please note that I was in the process of making myself a better friend to everyone, in most, that I become one of the most reliable humans any of you shall ever know.  It is something I have been skeeming for a very long time.  It means defying a part of my programming that I have had ever since I was 5 or so.  It means finding a way around the Mirror Effect™ and not reflecting back to everyone as they do to me.  It will have to start out with baby steps, people who mean a lot to me.  From there I will see if including it for all humans will turn around and crush me.  It may, however, one aspect of my life that has not stopped is treating others as I would want to be treated.  {sigh} The biggest challenge will include defeating memory loss, and while I have always had the ability (my many children and toys), for some unknown reason I have not used them as I can.  Maybe my current loss will be powerful enough to hit that switch in my brain I have been attempting to hit for about a decade or so now.  Just to make sure, however, I do ask for much help from the human world, you, my friends.  When attempting to interact with the many of you, please advice me, when applicable, to write things down in Morphian.  I have yet to make him a habit, and once I make him a habit I feel I will be able to overcome... anything.  I wish to give silent thanks to all of you who have put up with my down right insanity as to how I have interacted with you.  I cannot think of a single friend I have not let down.  I have let you all down at some point, and the reason is simple.

I'm human... and as much as I attempt to talk about the wonders of not being human (don't assume, adknowledge you have hurt, forgive, etc) I have failed in that light.  I have failed because I have been giving into my human self-centered desires.  It pains me that I have, and... okay I am better, it pains me that I have, and I am going to stop it.  For most of you, I will ask you to give me a second chance.  If I have wronged you, or let you down, I ask that you attempt to wipe the slate clean, and let me prove to you that I can give you the most excellent customer service that any friend can.  It would mean a lot to me, and I can get back to doing what I enjoy doing most... helping the populas of the planet.  I feel, in a selfish manner, better about myself the more I can help other people.  It is selfish because the fact when I help humans, they tend to feel better, and then can turn to me.  Thus, I get more and more who turn to me, and I can help them, and in helping I feel I am being a better human.  I feel I am being better in a way that God would want me to, and it is all about two... God and myself.  I have to live with myself and the wrongs that I do, and I have to live with God, the Creator.  I will be, hopefully, living with Him the longest of all I could live with.

As human as I am... I know I can defeat, and conquere the problems I have had since I was little.  As always, God, I ask for the strength that it will take, to be able to not simply act towards others how I see them act towards me.  I ask that you help me, somehow, break the Mirror Effect™.
  • Current Music
    "Melkaba" - Yasunori Mitsuda & Millennial

The Mirror Effect™

The Mirror Effect™, in the short term of the word, is the process of treating others in similar fasion as to how they treat you.  If it is a first contact, then the Mirror Effect™ states that you act as if the person was the most important person in your life.  All humans show some form of the Mirror Effect™ towards others.

In a detailed view, here is how the Mirror Effect™ works.  The detailed is in accordance to Madd Martin, and can vary from human to human.  First off, the Mirror Effect™ itself is perfect.  There are no flaws with the Mirror Effect™.  When first contact is made, whether through chat or real life, the human(s) involved are treated as if they were the greatest thing to ever happen in my life.  They are to be treated as if they were perfect in every aspect of the way.  The human(s) will be treated as such until the human(s) do something to prove this otherwise.  Any action towards the self from first contact is then reflected.  Example: I meet Bob in a chat room, and have free time to message Bob.  I message Bob because I see he has a Pink Floyd reference in his user information.  Bob responds back, cheery and extremely talkative.  The Mirror Effect™ would have me be extremely talkative in return to Bob, and also cheery.

The Mirror Effect™ requires much observation.  Surface feelings and thoughts are not reflected back.  Someone who is being nice because they want something from me, will not see "nice" reflected back in return.  While the Mirror Effect™ itself has no flaws, there are other things that can change the way things are reflected back.  If perception is altered from normal it can change what is seen as "hidden" or "deeper" meaning.  Things such as lack of sleep, drug influence, or schedule changes (working 1st shift opposed to third) can effect the way perception processes information.  These types of alterations are only considered acceptable if the human(s) involved are aware and warned of such a change.  Example: I have a job function change that will have me working from 7a-330p for six weeks.  I realize how this negatively can effect how I interact with human beings, so I warn 9 of 10 humans of this.  Should the Mirror Effect™ take sarcastic remarks the wrong way from all 10 humans, then any problems due to how I am acting towards them is the fault of the 9 and for the 10th the fault of me. 

The Mirror Effect™ encompasses from the first meeting until death.  Death of either myself or the individual in question shows how I act towards the human.  This is done through a points system.  Similar to the Sims, for every action towards me, there is a point value associated with it.  Things such as doing things for me without asking, not reflecting back to me negative things I might be to another human, and similar such acts are considered positive points.  Lying, and generally doing mallice things towards me can remove points, or make certain point caps higher than others.  The point system is a generalized event.  Unlike a video game, where getting to X points means you get Y, this point system would be similar to X+-A to get Y.  Actual quantative numbers are not assigned as much as a rough estimate.  Example: in order to lend someone money, they require to have 100 points.  The human has been doing things for me, been there when I required someone to talk to, however has never lent me money since they do not trust to give me money, and have stated that to me.  While the Mirror Effect™ would initially not have me give money since they do not trust to give it to me, if in X months/years later the human has done all these other positive things, then eventually I would be able to lend the money to the person.  If at some point this human stole money from me, then the cap to get the money might be 10000, and it would take a great deal for me to be able to ever lend this person money.  Even if I know the person for 20 years, that very first thing would have the cap where it is, and it would take many positive things to either give enough points, or possibly drop the cap of 10000 down.

Not everything is reflected back as it is presented towards me.  In no way will I comprimise any of my own personal beliefs or rules.  Example: someone who lies to me is not going to get lied back to, since lying is prime violation of my belief system.

Humans who do things to others is calculated in the Mirror Effect™.  This includes feelings, trust, and the like.  If a human can do or say things to others, it can be done to me, and this is taken into account.  Example: Jack and Jill are good friends, and I befriend Jill.  For three months I see Jack lie and cheat on Jill.  At some point afterwards, I make first contact.  The behavior towards my friend Jill is taken into account how much I would trust Jack, or expect what he says to me is truth.  This is something that also works for humans who I have known forever.  In the same example, I could have started out being really good friends with both Jack and Jill, and the same things happen.  Even though Jack is not doing anything towards me, he is acting a way towards my friend Jill, so my feelings and the like will change.  If Jack continues his actions towards Jill, yet is totally nice to me, there is always the possibility that I could end up un-friending Jack. 

There are times, due to the forementioned (schedule change, lack of sleep, etc) that I may later realize that my reflections were incorrect.  While the Mirror Effect™ is perfect, I am not.  In such events, changes will be made in occordence to "credit" points and typical reflections.  Example: Jack "steals" my bike.  I leave it in his care, and he ends up dissapearing for a long time.  My feelings and the like associated with him will drop.  A while later, on America's Most Wanted, I hear the story of a killer put behind bars, someone who was asfter Jack and attempting to kill him.  Turns out the reason he left as he did was to escape and attempt to help police put him behind bars.  My initial reflection was wrong (in this case no error of mine I was not informed), so, my trust in Jack that may have been lost is automatically restored.  Would the error have been in my part (he mentioned something to me about needing my bike for police reasons, and I simply forget and feel the way I do) then the "credit" is increased.  Ignorance is no substitute for common sense.

Some things I will have difficulty reflecting back to others due to personal flaws.  In this case, other things will be reflected back as a "substitute".  There may be cases where I fall behind, where at some point large parts of positive reflection are made.  Example: Someone may always send me an IM or page first.  Due to past problems, I may not ever get to post first back to the person.  In the chats, I will make more effort then to continue and keep the conversation lively.  In events where this is not possible, when meeting in public the person may get "priority" over others who would otherwise get it.

The well being of others is attempted to be maintained at all times.  Some times this requires me to reflect back different as I would otherwise like.  However, if the other parties in question have priority over me, then they get that priority.  Example: I always go over to Jill's house.  Jack and Jill have been dating for 4 years.  I have known Jill for 2 and Jack for 1.  Jack starts to have issues with me always being over.  Even though Jack does not have priority to me, he does to Jill.  His 4 years beats my 2 years knowing her, and I will start to "die" down my visitation.  The only way this could be reversed is if Jill expressed her extreme dislike towards Jack's actions, and it is made as clear as day to Jack and I am aware of this claim.  Would the years be I know Jill 4 years, and Jack has dated Jill for 2, then he no longer has priority, and as long as Jill shows no signs of wanting change, my behavior to her would not change.

There will be many times when a human(s) will know of my behavior regarding the Mirror Effect™ and claim that I am not living up to it.  The fact remains that if I am acting a certain way towards the human, then I am SEEING something that they do not see.  In psychology this is known as a Hidden Pane of personality.  An example is that someone may be talking to me, and I back away because the human has bad breath, yet the human does not realize s/he has it, and just attributes it to me not liking the human or being rude.  There has not been an exception to this.  Anyone human who would fully realize how this Mirror Effect™ works, has the ability to know I am detecting something and reflecting upon that, or that if things have happened in the past where the human has done me wrong, it could take a while before I develope the trust again.

The Mirror Effect™, as stated, is something that all humans do.  Many do not do it in similar fasion, and some concepts are not present, while different ones might be added.  However, if someone hits you in the head with a wood plank, you say that person MADE you angry, even if the person did it to stop a sniper from shooting you down dead on the spot.  The same goes with the point system.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, puts priority over people.  It is the human condition that makes such a thing seem "wrong", and most (not all) deny they would do such a thing.

(Note to humans.  This concludes explaination of the Mirror Effect™.  Notice in my last post I asked for God to help me break this.  In breaking it, I wish to remove the one thing I seem to have the most difficulty with, and that is letting go things of the past.  I would think the most probable reason I hang on and use points in conjunction with past events is due to how horribly I have been treated in my life.  Whether I was being picked on as a kid, almost beat up, or taken advantage of when I started to explore the facility of relationships with women, the fact remains that when something wrong is done to me, I remember and use it when reflecting everything back.  My goal in breaking the Mirror Effect™ would have those things permenately drop off.  As of this moment, many of them, while forgiven, will prompt me to "double jepordy" it.  Example: someone lies to me 3 months into our friendship, to where it is known how I feel about lying.  One year down the road, I finally "forgive" for what was said.  4 months down the road, someone accuses that person of doing something, and the person denied doing it.  The lie that was forgiven and not effecting reflections comes back, and I question and find difficulty believing what the friend said to me.  Changing this drastically changes what the Mirror Effect™ is about, thus removing it would "shatter" it, even though the other aspects would be there, mainly speaking, the positive things).