November 14th, 2003

MW

Long Waking Day

Hmm... long day... long day indeed.  Um... yeah... longer than usual numb can make... ah but before numb human talk to.... hmm... longer than expected madd early up be must heart bad but conversation good madd requires conversation... now madd can feed from Floyd and sleep arg sleep early more bad booo
  • Current Mood
    silly silly
MW

Send Me Home

Or, better yet, send me to my room, to bed... don't send me to the hospital.  Hospitals should be open to like 10p or so, and not be open so early.  I don't want to be up, I wanna be sleeping... mmm... sleeping quietly in me bed, mate. {yawn} Ug, okay, fine, I am going to take my shower now.{yawn}  Well... at least I am feeling better.  Actually, I feel strange... it is that what happened why am I up kind of strange.  I woke 30 seconds before my alarm went off, JOHD, meaning that my body clock... might still be working, despite my old tired body being as it is.  Whoohoo!!
  • Current Music
    6min 24sec
MW

Want Salad with that?

Well, JOHD... turns out nothing is wrong with my leg, JUST as expected.  If there is one thing I believe I still know, it is my body... and to that, my lipid tests came back.  Seems that I have high cholesterol.  I am at 227, JOHD, and the range is 120 - 200.  Dr Sidney stated that I have three months to lower it "naturally" before she hooks me up to meds.  {sigh} You know, JOHD... for all my life, I just stuck things in my mouth (literally, like from bar floors and the like).  I never really paid attention to what was going in, unless it was moving, or smelt worse than my underwear.  So here I am, 28, and here I am, with high cholesterol.  This is very typical, I mean very.  This is how Marfan's was first thought possible in me.  Some ten+ years ago I go in for my knees, wondering why they are in the pain they are, and I end up leaving with my heart and everything else looked at.  So, being the strange being I am, here I go, actually starting to look at ways to improve my health.  I must say, I am rather impressed and proud of myself.  Of late, I have managed to start taking care of myself (going to the doctor, quitting shmoking, etc), and am fighting to take back what belongs to me, my mind.  I am battling procrastination, and I am starting to win.  Yeah I have my off days, but you can't make an egg sandwich without breaking a few cows for free.  Oh, my trglycerides are at 167.  Range is 0-200.  My HDL Cholesterol is 42, with acceptable range 40-62.  My LDL cholesterol is 152.  This varies with age.  Being the "young" bird I am, I am told this is fine.  So everything else does check out rather well.  So changes are going to be made... my word, I looked at a bag of chips before eating them to check what the cholesterol content was (it was 0%, yay for that).  I know for a long time, I stated that life is nothing more than a ride to death.  Not even taxes are a certainty (humans can find ways around it).  Death, however, is inevitable.  I guess I would rather my trip be a decent one.  I guess that is the reason I am the way I am towards other humans.  Doing my best to spread joy one Reality at a time.  Hey JOHD, 35304 minutes left until my birthday, yay for me!  It is on a Monday, which is when I was actually born on.  I still have much work to do, JOHD, and unfortunately very few humans are helping me with it.  I guess it is fitting, that the one who best take care of me actually be Madd.  I am the only one who cannot escape myself.  Everyone else can, or has found a way.  Everyone has better defenses against myself.  I have the weakest, the recorse for knowing what I am normally thinking.  Stupid brain.  Oh yeah, once again I am opting to remove swearing from my vocabulary, minus artistic purposes.  I still do not believe in censorship.  I feel semi tired, and I hope if I work on my site some how it will spark energy in me.  Once my foot is recovered I believe it would be good to attempt an exercise routine.  I figure if I can take care of the body that way, other things (brain) will follow suit.  I would like to thank John/sub, who last night, as my last and longest call, gave me the affirmations that I rarely hear from other customers for the work I do.  Thank you for appriciating what I was able to contribute to your life.
  • Current Music
    "Atom Heart Mother" - Pink Floyd, "Atom Heart Mother"