October 30th, 2003


More Death

Yay... I had this most excellent post going on, right?  Hahaha!!  Oh JOHD you already know the punchline, so why bother.  Technology... I wonder what is worse, technology or my time management/procrastination problem.  Hmm... touch call.  Technically I could have fixed the computer and not lost the most excellent post that I was doing last night.  At least, I think it was excellent.

For the life of me, I am unable to remember half of it.  I do remember the other half dealt with finally remembering the Kit and the first time I realized I was in love with her.  Yeah, and I realized I had not told you before about it.  Well, then dITZ comes along and I start chatting with her regarding recent issues... Blueyes comes along and sends me a link to her boyfriend's web site.  Now... why, JOHD, just why, do you think I opened that up while I was already a good some into talking to you, as if, the computer problems were all away and better?  Eh?  Possible distraction?  Eh... I do not think so.  Granted... no more than six hours ago Alex almost ran away due to an err on my part.  I think this, however, deals with habit.  I think it is the same habits that cause me grief and trouble to this time.

Well anyway, I would like to share what I slightly remember, since I passed out waiting for the computer to give me control last night.  I was thinking back to I knew I had feelings for her, and I remember something about not wanting to tell her about it, however at the same time I did want to tell her about it.  I remember I had a CD, and I believe it was... FFVI, and it was on random play, and I stated that if it played the following tracks, and I named off like four or five, that I would tell her how I felt about her... and it happened.  It was that sign, something I have based a few dicissions in my life with.  "Show me the sign and I'll show them the way."  So I told her everything and the rest is history from that.

Just think all that would have been different... everything, and everyone.  I mean, my whole whoring career... possibly gone.  Exactly the way I had always wanted it... or, it would have started elsewhere.  My intereactions with Kit were rather powerful... I remember the suicidal depression, partly built on being so struck that she was as selfish as she was.  Well, there were times.  My issues I had, and she just asking about Aaron over and over.  Whoa... emotional overload.  Something about this song is triggering something in my brain and I am not sure what it is.  I like it.

Oh yeah... since you confuse me some times... the subject deals with technology, the fact another post is lost.  Also, despite the events within the last six hours, the mood is reflected by the same exact thing.  Technology... well, maybe also a little bit frustrated in the fact I have not done anything about it.  On that note, I have things to do before work.
  • Current Music
    "Ending Credits" - Metroid Prime