July 5th, 2003



One thing I do, more so than many, is observation.  Now, by many I mean those who I come in contact with, since the reason I note this is because I am observing them not observing.  I see many who pick up debate, as if it was something to do to pass the time, and see that a big issue with philosophical studies that people are not bothering to grasp the concept of other people's Realities.  Some humans up and take what they have experienced and apply that to everyone else.

Let me give an example.  Way back many moons ago, I was called a dork.  I thought it an odd thing to be called by a person who was my friend, so I asked her to define what "dork" was.  She told me how it was basically a sign of affection towards others.  I thought to myself, "Ah ha, this is like when I call people a toad... I do not mean them disresepct, it is just a saying I have adapted to."  Now, many I know, when called a dork, however, would automatically take it as a negative manner, without getting clarification.  It is almost as if they just wanted to argue about something, and being called a dork would be the stepping stone they would use.

Actually, an even more prone example is my own language (defined by others as verbose).  It tickles me to death just by me saying "human(s)" I get so may people asking me why I think I am better than anyone else.  hEhEhE!!  You know, I look human up in dictionary after dictionary and I get the definition of a living or extinct member of the family Hominidae, or I get relating to a person, or having human form or attibutes as opposed to those of animals or divine beings.  Now... maybe this very last one is some how connected... maybe this is the key... but then I realize other humans state that I am referring to myself as something other than human... and then it turns into the tickle to death again (especially when I have referred to myself as human on many occassions).

Maybe it is projection... a common ego defense mechenism (or dear is the philosophy community being tainted by psychology?) A human has a chance to project their own superiority onto another (in this case, Madd).  Or maybe it is not I who am the insane one of this culture.

Well, regardless of what it is, I know I have flaws, and I really want to go eat some Iowa Chops they are yummy!
  • Current Mood
    curious curious

The Last Suit You Will Ever Wear...

... again.

hEhEhE!!  I almost cry laughing just typing that, seeing the mental image of Wil Smith telling this to Agent J.

Well... JOHD old friend... the challenge draws close towards miss commitement, however, I would say not really since I plan not to miss it.  It is time to update, and do so from the start, and the start, I believe, is December 30th or something of that nature.  After that, the next step is the painful journey to day ONE of entries and put everything into memory.  I figure, the easiest way is to use memories for all future posts, and then go through a few days at a time and include everything that way.

(note to humans)

Due to possible posting limitations, posts shall be done on a week basis for an entire month, up to June, of where everything will be posted a day at a time.  Many of you humans enjoy JOHD to the extent of commenting, and I know some of you who even dislike me are most likely going to be commenting about my day to day life.  Remember to click on the right "talk to JOHD" for the day you want to comment about, since if there are 4 posts on the same day, there are 4 different "talk to JOHD" posts.

Also, given the nature of humans, I am stressing that everything commented about is, to my best ability, for that specific DAY and THAT DAY ONLY.  If I call you a psychopathic cock sucker and view you with that kind of emotion on a day, yet we are all friends now, DON'T jump off the band wagon and think that is how I feel about you.  For the most part, any problems that I had with any human in the past who I no longer have issues with is noted LATER.  So if you see bad blood in the early months, I would advice you wait and look for your being being posted about later (unless to this day I still have issues with you, in which case you will know by the time I post about it).

I shall translate the above with analogy.

In Jan 12, 2003, Jill came over to my house one day and set it on fire.  All my Pink Floyd was destroyed.  She pleads insanity a day after, but that does not matter to me.  I post to JOHD talking about the many ways she will die, and they all entail slow deaths involving mice in one way or another.  At some point in March, she ends up winning the lotto and acting on the EGO defense mechanism UNDOING, she gives me the $200 million she won.  While the damage she did to my Floyd is considered "pricesless", the fact she is going to give me all this money (and have to pay tax on it since the money given to me is done in a way where I do not pay taxes), then I may start posting to JOHD in March how I no longer feel the rage I do for her.  Jack, on the other hand, took an axe to my child Alex in Febtober (hehehe, I love that month).  I believe any parent would agree that someone killing their kid with intent, and not on "accident", warrents almost no resolve.  Thus, being June, Jill already KNOWS what went down.  So when she sees the things I say about her up to the point she gave me the money, it is TO HER OWN BENEFIT to WAIT until after those days to see how to think about it.  It would benefit EVEN more if she simply waited until the update was completed.  It is to her benefit since to get angry about things I said about her in March when we are friends again in June, means she is acting on a situation that was already resolved.  Granted, if I state almost nothing about our "resolved friendship", and the update is over, she has valid right to show "more concern".  Such as, "You ass... I gave you all that money and have to spend the next 3 years working two jobs to pay the taxes on the money and this is the best you can say about me?"  It does NOT, however, mean that Jill should not comment on the events of Jan, Febtober, March.  She is more than welcome to comment about the past, it is just a wiser idea to NOT be all emotional angry at my of those given months.  Remember, if I am angry or upset about a human being, I am so for good reason.  Despite what humans think, pissing me off or getting me against the human is no easy task.  For people I barely know is next to impossible (minus hurting people I care about, or total deception on me such as the Evil One did).  Humans I care about I do so for a reason... and the fact I care about them means that they must be kind to me in the first place.

So, since my analogy is many times longer than what it was talking about, it boils down to do your best to not be pissed off on something I say about you until you read EVERYTHING about you up to June.  After posting the update, for anyone who appears to not be "resolved" to the status they were at around the start of 2003, I shall post the reason on a follow up.

A final note... I post things backwards that work with if you read going to the regular web site.  What I mean by this, is if you choose calander, and click on the date, everything will be in the wrong order.  If you check your friend's list, however, everything is in the correct chronilogical order.  Even if I have a day that I totally forgot and nothing is there, SOMETHING is posted for every date.  For these updates, I am keeping it simple.  Public, friend's only, and Madd.  I am not using any special lists, so if you do not see it and you are on my friends list, NO ONE SEES IT except Madd and JOHD.  Madd and JOHD see all... um... unless Madd forgets to log onto this account, hahaha, and that way MADD will be reminded to login.

P.S. Ignorance is NO excuse for "the law".  If you see a post marked as "friend's only" you are NOT going to copy that information nor even TALK about it to ANYONE minus who is on my friend's list or myself.  Doing so is a DIRECT violation of the trust I have put in you all.  Doing so will put you on a nasty shit list that I am sure most of you want to avoid.  If you find reason to want to talk to someone else about the private information, GET THE OKAY FROM MADD.  I can assure you that being banned from my journal will only be step one.

(/note to humans)

Okay, JOHD... this is the LAST FUCKING TIME I GO THROUGH THIS SHIT.  I have TONS of ways to keep from falling behind.  I use work, now, and I have all this crazy crap on my desktop.  I even have flippin' XP use the sceduler to open up my TO-DO list and everything else.  Never again do I want to see crap like this unless it is a year end review, and those are special cases in the first place.  I mean it... and make sure you tell my fucking brain since it appears to have so much fucking problem with authority.  I mean, the authority is for its own fucking good, seriously.

So I am going to go eat Iowa chops now... yummy for Madd.
  • Current Music
    "Go Straight" - Yuzo Koshiro, "Streets of Rage II"

Thank You Girlfriend...

... as I catch up on my back posts (aye, for you humans who write to JOHD or who write to my friends, you may get a flood of comments from me... it is catch up time, for good), a "chat" with my GIRLFRIEND from long ago made me comment and think, and in thinking, JOHD, I came to an important discovery.

As we know, I some times appear to have issues... remembering humans.  For example, I do not call many people, I do not get gifts (even when I tell myself I am going to) for humans even when they are small, and all this other stuff.

It's my mind... my damn mind that never stops racing.

I think to humans who "bitch" about the fact they are bored, and I think about how I am never bored anymore, and have not been bored for like 4 or 5 years or something like that.  I know that I am not bored because my mind is continuiously racing... I have always known this... what I did not connect together is that... my mind races so fast it "misses the exits to the people I want to think about."  Example... I want to get Jill a present, just because she is so nice to me.  It would be a simple gift bought at QT or whatever.  The fact I get her a gift is going to make her happy.  I know this, and she knows this.  I tell myself I am going to get her something next time I am at QT, since they have cool things to actually get there as gifts.  Then, I get to QT, my mind is racing with so many things, the thought gets pushed out.  It has nothing to do with her.  I mean, I forget to get things for myself, and by theory, the self is the most important person to get things for, since you are always around yourself, and are around yourself more than all other humans combined.  It is like doing 90 in a 45 and by the time you see the exit ramp to take to go where you want, you already flew by it.

I knew there was a reason to be jealous of people who have boredom...
  • Current Music
    "Data Selection Screen" - Metroid Prime

Phazer One Complete!!

WhooHOO!!  JOHD!!  From my last conversation with you, a few hours ago, I have been able to catch up on every single comment to my email box (minus the ones regarding Arwen, those shall be tackled later tonight or tomorrow).

Of course, SOMEONE is attempting to give me more work.  That is okay, a good tickling shall teach her!

Plus, the philosophy humans are starting to stir, slowly but surely.  This is good, with school being out.  I have an endless supply of psychology and philosophy to use now!

Of course, on the very BAD side... I still have way more things to do than I can count.  JOHD is going to be addressed next... and I shall keep in mind the possible posting limit for accounts.  I unfortunately do not remember what the limits are, and I believe even a permenate account such as JOHD may have a limit.  However {sigh}, it is understood with the way some humans posts.  They would post every second if they could, causing load on the LJ community. However, I shall be started, and as part of the actual challenge, each day shall encompose at least a month.  That will catch me up, obviously.

  • Current Music
    "Data Select Screen" - Metroid Prime