July 2nd, 2003


No, Seriously

Ah ha!!  Mwahaha!!  There shall be no DELETING of my stash now!  Sure, it’s word imperfect 10... but it came with the computer.  Um... well... I wanted to get something out of the way, JOHD, since I am starting to better myself at putting information down when it comes to me as opposed to slacking it off and waiting (and forgetting).

I realize a problem that humans have with me is that... they take Madd waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too cereal.  I mean... I had thought that the whole essence of Maddness was part of making known... well, yeah, so, anyway I am just going to have to give the humans another tool in terms of dealing with Madd... and of course, this means that Madd is going to have to assimilate this information rather fast.  I have dealt with the lonely only child no childhood friend existence through myself, and through myself, I have found great pleasure and joy in insanity... er... I meant laughter.  So, I am going to write documentation on how to converse with Madd in a serious manner. I remember back when Animalistic Alienesse use to chat with me, and I was chatting with other humans, and she would be in a deep and serious conversation with me, and I was reflecting that, but in other chats I was being... well... “myself” as defined by the rest of the world.  I say myself due to the vast number of times someone things I am depressed or sad or something is wrong just because I am not jumping around with my fingers in a light socket.  I think it was then I got really confused... are these humans just using ego defense mechanisms for a larger purpose?  If when I am “calm” or “serious” I am looked upon as someone who... whoa, yeah this song rocks... is sad, then why are these same people taking everything I say so SERIOUSLY?!?  I just do not understand humans some times, old friend.

Anyway... a new trigger word shall be added to my Maddtionary.  This word is serious.  I am not sure how I am going to get others to understand the importance of this word... however... I know I can find a way.  If someone has something serious they wanna talk about, and “a dollar” or “your mother” or “my mother with cheese” is not an answer they are looking for, they shall have to learn to use the phrase “Seriously now...”.  You know... reflecting on my own... structured rule self society that I have established, I wonder why I put so much effort into semantics such as this.  I mean... what good are humans anyway, besides targets for automatic weaponry? hEhEhE... oh JOHD, you know I did not mean it.  Why do you care your above human anyway?  Then I realize the reason I do it.

I know what I want, and no human has been able to give it to me, mail or femail.  What do you MEAN femail is spelled incorrectly?  I would tell you to kiss my arse computer, however, I realize that you communicate with other computers in a language and sense that no human can understand.  I know better.  So I want to find that human... or maybe non-human, who can do what I want... just simply understand me in mid-conversation without me having to flippin’ translate everything I say or mean.  So that humans do not get up and huffy because they think I am dissin’ them when I may just simply be in another Reality.

Ah, and that is the problem... the Reality gap.  I did not realize that the gap of my Reality to other humans was so huge.  I mean... the human on this planet who understand me most, wherever she is (because let’s face it, males are piss poor thinkers of abstract natures... unless it is sports, cars, or sex), is still a few million Realities away.

I’m not really all that difficult to understand.  I use to think I was not, then I thought I was, then I realized that BASIC Maddian concepts that a human realized forever were just being ignored or treated different without cause.  So... that is not my fault, I am not telling anyone how to think... at least, I do not think I am... who knows what my mind is doing without me.  I already have the strangest feeling that something or someone else has control of my mind.  Well... who/whatever they are... I plan on taking it back.  So there... I am SICK of just sitting in a chair, realizing what I want to do, and being immobilized as if something was picking at spots of my brain and telling me what to do opposed to what I want to do.

I’m hungry, weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
  • Current Music
    "Deception" - Squaresoft, "FFV"