June 18th, 2003


So Yet Another Question

Should I feel bad that I wrote an extremely long email to someone in a time I said I was not writing to people?

Hmm... the should word, how did that get in here?

Actually, I think it boils down to what made me do it.  JOHD, as with most thing involving me, I get to questioning what makes me do and think what I do.  Well, I realize that the email question is rather simple to answer.

The emails I have "on hold" to write are those done so to people who already have made some sort of comment or what have you that requires much thinking on my part.  These are not emails I expect to be done with, even in a matter of an hour or so.  Of course, this new Reality I send email to goes to the very thing that I expect to look for in my searching of other human beings... the deep philisophical questioning that could help me better understand my own thinking.  Of course... it could be a big waste of time, since when an email is sent to a new Reality, who is to say the Reality shall respond?  I find, through my experiences, that I am not able to just send a simple 5 line email to someone who has little concept of who I am (and JOHD, by little concept I mean someone who interacts with me indirectly, such as in a classroom setting, or a work setting where they are talking to humans I am talking to as well, and ocnversations remain mostly at that).

So my emails are not 5 lines, they are 5 pages.  They are so for good reason, JOHD, and I want you to remember this well, since it is important.  As you have learned, humans take a lot of what I say for face value.  I start debating how capital punishment is required in all states, yet, personally feel that capital punishment goes as far as going against God.  People either think I now believe in capital punishment when I do not, or, they find out I do not and feel I am just decieving or lying to them.  So, why care in a Reality that dictates I do not care of those who I have no relationships with (friend, lover, family, etc)?

Well... the whole point in conversing with the humans is to better understand things I may not have thought yet.  Today in class, I was shown a most excellent diagram (that I shall post to you later, dear friend).  It showed the thought process of humans, and it was something that was, to Madd, crutial.  It was considered an thinkable unthought thought.  This will make more sense later, JOHD, I am pressed for time, I have an ENTIRE book to read by tomorrow.  Thankfully, whether it be by accident, God, or the controller of the brain in a vat (more on THAT later), the point remains I am extremely thankful (yeah, God, You know which one of those I believe in, hehehe!!) Paper for this book is NOT due tomorrow, it is moved to Friday.  Portfolio assignment (the one that HAS to be completed to pass the course) is moved from FRIDAY to MONDAY!!  This means I can use good thought on it!  This means an entire day, minus Myles day (as you will find out later about my past, JOHD, X-Myles has been suspended until the end of school since I have vowed to stop drinking while in school, minus any SPECIAL HOLIDAYS, hEhEhE!!), for the paper.  Whoohoo!!  This book appears to be similar to Phenomonon.  No, I am not looking up the spelling and no, I am NOT linking it as I did the first time I mentioned this movie to you a few years ago (since that would be doing so for the humans and not you, JOHD, after all, you and I both know about this excellent movie).  So if it is closely based on the principle of this movie, then, the reading would draw me in.  Or is this where I say should, that word I have attempted to remove from my vocab?

AHhhhhh!!  So much energy!!  {SIGH} ... and all I want to do right now is chat in person, on line, and on the phone about philosophie.  Well... yeah, my own doing.  I am the one, after all, who did not complete his school work back in the day.  Of course, in doing so, I would not have experienced the new Reality I came across... not to mention, it appears my own teacher, who I had before, has mentally come closer to me.  I enjoy the way he thinks, even if he may believe in evolution and go as far as not believing in God at all.  Of course, by his own arguments, I can question (debate) this fact with him, and wow, that in itself can prove entertaining as well as educating.  Whoohoo... hahaha... I feel great despite all this work that is to be done.

Yeah... all this work... lots of work... work that is not yet done, and cannot be done and will not be done as I am here on my computer, since the work is void of the computer (minus BG2).  All that work... work that, by the grace of God Himself, was pushed so that I could better complete the work, as God has been so kind to do for some time now... all this work that...

Hey, JOHD, I have to go and do some work, hahaha!!

(and to think I just wanted to examine me sending out email... Madd, you are a wordy toad)

  • Current Music
    the music not playing in my brain

Bippity Bohyaa

Almost 100 pages read since last entry, old friend.  A most excellent move indeed.  I plan, and look forward to, getting my tickets done early so I can spend the rest of the time finishing the book.  If goes as plan, then I can start defrag on Ganondorf, since link is getting it now, and get SLEEP again!  Even though, my body does tire even though my mind does quite the opposite.

At least I conqured some technology... yay computer science!