May 29th, 2003


Special Thanks and Time Running Out

I want to give a special thanks to GOD.  If ever there was a being in existance that can show unconditional love for Maddness, it would be the Lord.  You do more for me than I could ever show back to you.  You continue to do so and give me more chances than all my other mortal influences combined.  You show a love for me that can be matched by none.  Thank you... thank you for not only giving me an extra chance, but giving me five for the same thing.  At this point, it is better than I am able to provide for my own friends.

I want to thank (now in alphabetical order)

Alienesse - you have had a good influence on my mind, possibly more so than any other, with the way you have gone overboard with questions.  Many would see asking so many questions a bad thing, as for Madd, I thank thee.

Foffie - I still remember you... I do not forget you.  My BEYOND cool Ash lunchbox reminds me every day at work, where I display it proudly.

Gretl - For not turning your back on me, and the fact that despite many things that go wrong between us, you continue to do many things for me without my asking.

JacyLane - the biggest inspiration for keeping things to the open public, not another human being I know shows as much insterest on my day to day life as you do.

Stingray - your comment... hahaha... my word I about died (and when I get to it, know you are definitely forgiven)

Sewcute - for putting up with the most difficult boyfriend you could ever have in your life... for doing my dishes without me even hinting at it... for going out of your way at times to see me...

There is much more and many more to be thankful for, however, unfortunately, I think I am... BURNING MY FOOD!!  Ahhhhh!!!!!!!

Okay, good, it is fine.  There are even many more things to be thankful than I have come close to listing, and of course, the actual thankful list includes a few million more Realities.  I, unfortunately, am going to be well BEYOND pressed for time.  {sigh} The realization is, school starts back up in June.  Not only does it start up, it does so, EVERY weekday at the waking hour of 900a.  This is an absolute change in schedule like no other.  Not only do I have to get up early every day, but almost every day I would be working UNTIL 1130p/midnight.  As I remember, this class is about reading.  Getting ahold of me, in person, could be near impossible.  I plan to do something very un-Madd like.  Keep in touch more than ever.  I am going to force the chemicals in my brain to finally do my bidding.  Since this is a first for me going so hard-core into it, I may end up... unpredictable.  Imagine poking a dog with a hot stick for most of its life, when it use to be nice and friendly, and do something to it later down the road that you intend no harm.  While I am not saying I am going to be this way, I am saying, the ability for me to snap... well... I already snapped yesterday.  I did so with Gretl, I did so when Sewcute attempted to defend her actions, I did so when I found my rent is being raised, I did so with a few customers (same kinds that I had no troubles with before), I did so with co-workers.  I had difficulties consintrating just due to... my mind.  Realizations of where my life is not going, and the fact I do NOT like being behind.  I am sick of being behind... not being on time, being late with things... procrastination.  I am allowing this to effect my brain, and I have done a piss poor job of controlling it.  Not the "all so powerful" brain that I keep talking about.  However... I know as I know the existance of God, that anything is possible.  That is another thing... I keep conforming to the idea that things are *not* possible.  That bothers me a lot... the only other thing that would bother me more is if I started to lie to humans.  I have my devices for mind control, most of which are non-human, and I plan on using these, better, to achieve what I want to achieve.

So thank you everyone, and here is your reminder:

TIME IS RUNNING OUT.  I made a post, specifically, for one thing you wish to be forgiven for, of which I would resolve from my mind, and I meant it.  However, your deadline is soon.  If you already posted, then you have done so.  Do not erase it, for once you post something a copy is sent to me and the FIRST thing I see I shall forgive.  If you give me a list, I will either take the first one or the last one.  No questions shall be answered (hint, Sewcute :D ) or the like.  This is a freebie.  This is a way for you to reset part of what you may have itched into my Reality.  Um... and I advice against anything "witty" (please forgive everything; please allow me the forgiving opwer of forgiving more) such as people who would have a time limit on a power to use the power to "wish" for more time, or for any one wish to "wish" for a billion wishes.  I shall not point out the entry, it should not be too far from this one.


This is when *my* homework is due for my incomplete class, this is when YOUR deadline is. Enjoy...
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