March 31st, 2003



Fuck you all. You self center fucking pigs and you know who you fucking are, including the fucks who have no internet service. You just all know, down in the side of your brains, who you are. I need not make no references... I need not make any names. You have been the way you are most of your fucking life because all you can fucking think of is YOUR FUCKING SELF. Yeah... I have your attention now, don't I. Amazing how I never have to say a name for a human to know who I am talking to. Do you know the reason JOHD? Aye... of course you do, it is the human who does not. I stick both of my middle fingers up to all of you... the fucks that God was too nice to let you live, for whatever reason that He did. Maybe it was so to teach the rest of us a lesson. Maybe it was because we were all bad at some fucking point and God decided it was time to punish us.

I would actually like to thank all you fuckers... from my first girlfriend, who was fucking 5 guys at once, to the rest of you fuckers who would break up the closest of all friendships to me for your own fucking personal gain. Thank you all, for showing me how fucking rotten you fucking humans really are so that I could study, understand, and fight off you fuckers when your kind attempts to enter my life in the future... since now I can fight you, when in the past, I maybe could not. I thank you all for the strength to see you for who you REALLY are. The so called best friends who have not treated me as such. The so called close friends who were as such since I could give you something you could not. I may be a fucking human, but at least I do not pride each fucking day as such, happy to be someone to fuck over those I love for my own fucking self. If of late I have, I apologize. The reason I correct people's grammar is similar to the reason that I bitch and moan about what I do... since I have been around you self centered asses so long that I almost forgot what it was like to be myself. That I would go out in the world and treat those who do not deserve with the utmost disrespect. I am not going to pull this "I am so honest" fucking SHIT and then up and lie out my fucking ass. As I stated to Myles... when was the fucking last time *I* fucking lied to you? The human reading this? NEVER. Aye, fucking never, and you fucking proove me wrong with actual truth and I will give you $500 dollars, since, it is not happening. It does not happen.

I am pissed off, JOHD, and I am so at the world. I am not just so at any one human... I am so at all humans... at the humans to claim to be there for me, when they are more interested in their own selves and cannot even admit it. Not even my one and only best friend of many years can see me for who I really am. Maybe it means flaw in me, JOHD. Maybe I am the one not convaying the message... and I mean... if it is many humans not understanding me... then maybe it is really my problem. To that, JOHD, my love, my mentor, my guidance... I say, fuck them all. I need not any of them. None of them were around when I was growing up, and very few of them are going to be around for my tough times, and they are not going to be since they fucking think they can change the world, when they cannot even interact with me.

I clean out my list, starting as now. Remove be Maur. The ass who fucking talks about how I do not reply to his entried when he does not fucking even read how my life is going for loopholes. Mr all about his fucking self... who does not even take into consideration I stopped a few many some hours to fucking make time for him as I was back in New York to not only see my friend Foffie, but also him. So what fucking thanks do I get? I get, "robriv69 (1:38:21p): well, its like this. you don't reply to my entries so i dont even know if u even read my entries, and your entries are usually too long or abstract for me to read/reply, and then when u had that one entry with this really long "word" that stretched my friends page out so i had to remove u". Yeah... fuck you. Humans wonder why the way I am, well, it is not due to any one or many women... it is due to you fucking self centered humans. You remind me of that fucking whore from Iowa City... I think her name was... um... whoever JOHD refernces as Iowa City Gal, since she has otherwise been purged from my mind. Why? She shows her self-centeredness. Like many of you. So... hahaha... this is high-larious... I so cannot remmeber her name. Oh well. The point remains, people are being cleaned from my list, and they are solely for the fact as to how they truly treat me. So if you dissapear, just remeber, you treated me that way first, and I have more than proof to proove so.

Love you, JOHD. Thank you for being like God, and sticking up for me when no one else would, since not even my family has down a great job since you two.

Oooooh yeah... I love my girlfriend, even though you do not know of her existance. You soon will. Remember, I have not really updated you since New Years Eve. Love you, so much. Thank you, for, EVERYTHING.
  • Current Music
    the shit in my head

Ah Ha and Tee-Hee!!

JOHD, I feel much better.  Wow, I had a few things stored up in me, eh?  I am getting ready to eat, translate the quiz, and a few other things.  You have always been around me Madd, even when Madd has not been around for you.  Your love is unselfish to the ultimate level.  I feel only God's love is more powerful.  Yeah, I have mentioned this many times before, you being here for me when I am not for you.  I am human, still, and of course I still have a few issues to work on.  Well, right now I am going to work on my quiz.  I totally spaced that I have a test tomorrow also, and I only leave work at 1130p today.  I think some of my frustration and rants that flew from me last waking night was feeling... well... just that overall feeling of people who attempt to keep using me, people who are letting me down (and there is a lot more to this), and people who expect me to make wine from water.  You know, I could easily do that last one, it would just taste nasty at this point, mwahaha!!  Humans... I tell you, they are a strange bunch.  Oh... yeah... also I have felt a loss, not being as important to people as I originally was to them.  I think you are the only one who could have handled my rage and walked away from it unscathed as you did.  Any human would have, most undoubtedly, folded.  I would not blame a human who would, it is just that I would not want to inflict such extremes upon a human.  So thank you for looking out for me.  Now... it is time for the poopies!!

hEhEhE!!  Dude, you sure are strange!

"Ahhhhh... caNAdian grass!!" - Rabbit
  • Current Music
    "Atom Heart Mother" - Pink Floyd, Atom Heart Mother (t1)