March 19th, 2003


I See the Light

My transformation is complete... and here is my idetification code:

Hello (hello, hello)
Is there anybody in there...
Just NOD if you can HEAR me...
Is there anyone at home?

Com'on (come on)
Now, I hear your feeling... doooown.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax (relax, relax)
I need some information... first.
Just the basic factssssssss,
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move, but I can't hear what your saying.

When Iiiiiiiiiiiiii was a child, I had a fever.
My hands felt just like, two balloons.
Now I've got that fever once again, I can't explain,
You would not understand, this is not how I am.

IIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Iiiiiiiii, have become, comfortably numb.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Iiiii iiiiiii, have become, comfortably numb.

Okay (okay, okay)
Just a little pin prick.
There'll be no more AHHHHHHHHHHHhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up (stand up, stand up)
I do believe it's working... GOOOOOOOD.
That'll keep you going through the show....
Com'on it's time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move, but I can't hear what your saying.

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimps.
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look, but it was gone, I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child has gron, the dream as gone.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Iiiiiii, have become, comfortably numb.

Thus, it is true.  There are many aspects of life... that I had been thinking about for a long time, and many things occured to Maddness.  These things go beyond just filling hope and dreams.  They go beyond filling expectations of myself.  They help me realize just where I have been all my life.  I found out that I have been beating my memory loss.  The one thing I thought might take over my life... I found a way around it, and I am able to overcome one of my greatest difficulties.  I have realized what it truly takes to interact with humans.  To interact with humans has turned into something many times over easier.  I am beyond estatic to learn how to do this.  I have wanted to do this due to my realization that I went beyond not meant to be a part of this mortal world by mortals.  It does not matter what mortals think, to a point, and I am happy to say... my voyage through the sea of life just became eaier by many times over.  It took communicating with Shell and a complete stranger, now known as Jennifer 318... however, you know... some things take a while to finger out, and the better understanding of the self is definatily one of them.  Humans spend their entire life attempting to understand who they are, yet, if they only truly listenend to their own self they would see that the answer is always right there in front of them.

Humans limit themselves.  They have potential, however, they do not grasp for it because they are blindly taught by this societity that doing so is self centered.  JOHD, my friend... I have seen self centered to a point of permenate remeberance.  Telling the world, and the self, that anything is possible is not as such.

It makes almost perfect clear sense to me now the real reason I do what I do regarding a lot of humans.  The reason I correct a human is not to correct them... it is so I do not mistakenly take on the behavior.  I say "Do or do not, there is no try" in leui of Yoda, however, I continue to say it because I believe what is said.  Do things.  If I were not to say the phrase when a human states it, what I find is that I end up saying it, and what a brain hears a brain tends to believe.  I do not want my brain to believe there are limitations on life.  How is it possible?  God created entire planets.  The sun, the infinite stars, dimentions... everything... down the the humans that populate this planet.  If all these things were possible to be created... what is to say that anything is not possible?  With God, all things are possible, and that means things we could not imagine.  So if I put my mind to something, 5th Dimentional Thinking does become a Reality.

Humans will wear you down, Maddness.  They will do so due to the fact they are unable to understand you, and they are unable to understand because they come from different Realities that at some point will clash with being.  Some times it is important you see going beyond the standards of life due to what others exerpeince and decide to not think upon.  You choose to take the route that few others do... and since you do, you start to turn a better understanding.  Better understanding means better interaction with the subject question in hand.

So please... Maddness... do not hold back.  I ask you not, since I have seen you attempting to in the past... for some unknown reason.  I do not approve, I realize your potential is better than that.
  • Current Music

BooYa Mag Light!

Ah, most excellent. The old 17" monitor... I thought I was starting to lose my eye sight. I was experiencing the same thing at work. Well, I ended up pulling out the old 21" and all I can say is...

I CAN SEE AGAIN!  It will take my eyes a while to adjust, however, this is all good.  I noticed that my eyes were starting to strain and I was not looking forward to using the computer since I was doing many things to attempt to correct the eye strain but failed.  NOW I have succeeded.  There is much to be done, JOHD.  For the longest time, I have known what is wrong with madd, but did nothing true about it.  We simply work on the one thing that gives me the most problems, and that would be time management.  Since there has been an increase in my memory, something previous thought near impossible to correct, then I can CERTAINLY work on something such as time manegement.  In fact, the increase in memory means that time management will come easier.  I will remember to use my time better.  Unfortunately, this could mean a decrease in time spent with those who are close to me.

So, as a note to the humans out there, while getting email and messages and phone calls is really cool, I simply ask that as my friends, you understand that if I make a comment in your LJ, or send an email and you send it back, I am not ignoring it due to anything of you.  I am attempting to manage my time, and right now, I am behind on many things.  These things are important to correct.  Once everything gets corrected, then replying to your emails, comments, and simply being on-line to chat with you will INCREASE.  Thus, the more things I catch up with, the more I can spend with you all.  I give this note and will repeat it since a few of you have been told this before and the actions you show (also through words) tells me that this information is not processing properly in your mind.

School is important to me.  For those who know this, I ask for patience with me getting to your emails and comments.  School is behind, and now I shall work on it more to get it up to speed.  I currently am pulling off at least TWO A's, of which one is confirmed and the other is just a given.  My last class... well... I am behind in quizzes and tests so who knows.  I still recognize the importance of certain things, and would just ask for anything extremely important you want replied to, simply put 911 some where in the subject.  While I may read email and not reply to it, if I ever see this I will take this as something important to you to be addressed now and thus I shall do just that, a reply the second I see it.

Well... there is work to be done, and I have energy to do it.
  • Current Mood
    productive productive