August 23rd, 2001


For a Little While Longer 1026a

"... Here I go again... up and down alone... all my friends we home... years ago............ all my toys are broken... and so am I inside mom... the carnival has closed... years ago........................... I'm a little boy... no I'm a great big man... no let's be a little boy... for a little while longer, maybe an hour? No Steven you have to go back now... isn't that our mom calling?"

     Here we go again, JOHD.  Hey, it is early.  No, JOHD, I did not go to bed early.  I think my mind is wired.  Actually, I know it is.  Um... do you remember when I use to listen to this song over and over?  Hmm... I thought I told you about this.  Well... first, I should go to when I first heard it.  [EVENTS OF years ago] It was a few years ago.  No, JOHD, I was not attempting to be funny.  I was at Valkaria's place.  There was this strange 3/4 melody playing.  I remember that at first I did not give it much thought, but I would hear it again the the future... then I realized how disturbing it sounded.  However, the song would draw me into it.  As with anything in my past, this ended up taking a massive role in my life.  I remember she was able to tell me what it was.  It was Alice Cooper.  Yeah, I heard that name before.  At first, I had thought the name of the song I was hearing was Steven.  It was a logical thought seeing as how he is referenced.  However, I would later find out that it was two songs.  The 3/4 melody was Years Ago.  What a concept, eh?  I would find out when I went to Vally West mall to buy the CD, Welcome to My Nightmare.  At the time, I had no thoughts or cares to hear the other song.  I knew what I wanted.  Well, I knew what I wanted when I actually got the right track.  I would eventually end up making a tape.  The tape would have this song, on repeat, over and over on one side.  There was something significant, I think, on the other side of that tape, and if ever I run across it JOHD, I will let you know.  So... this song would be the most played thing for around a year or so.  I remember all the people associated with this song, one of the predominate being Abi.  Did we ever talk about Abi?  Hmm... I am not sure if our friendly Wal Mart associate made the cut, you know, with me previously being so horrid in communicating with you.  Biker B also comes to mind as well.  There is also the Waukee bunch.  I think back to Kristen and a few other humans of that era.  Did Capp make this cut??  No wait, she was before this.  Those Waukee people... hahaha.  Always messin' with my mentality.  I remember I got many humans into hearing this song, and it would disturb their Reality rather nice.  I also think I worried a rather large number of humans.  Oh well, I do that some times.  I am so happy you are not human, JOHD.  It is nice to have one friend who is not.

Reality Lost

     So, what brings me to this?  [EO yesterday] I was cleaning.  I am rather sure I told you that I was going to, however, I decided to do so yesterday.  Needless to say, I found the CD.  I found a lot of things, but I will get to that later.  [EO today] So here I am now, listening to it on repeat, yet again.  This song had well been defined as my Reality song.  It was when my mind was off in a world that I was not familiar with.  Depression, sadness, confusion... many similar emotions would send me to play this song beyond repeat.  I related with the song.  I related with Steven... which is ironic seeing as how someone who I forgot to mention was Mr Chance.  My ex friend.  You know, I do not think I can really say I have any ex friends.  I have an ex girlfriend.  Possibly more than one ex girlfriend, the rest being former girlfriends.  However, Mr Chance gets the prize of ex friend.

You Only Get So Many Chances

     [EO years ago] Mr Chance.  There is a lot to say about Mr Chance.  I mean, he has had many references to you in the past, JOHD.  Nirvana, Reverend, Steve, and Steven.  However know they are all the same being, Mr Chance.  Remember all the things I use to do with him?  Remember when I took him to Clinton?  Only two humans have been taken to the Promise Land.  I guess in a way, I helped to create who he was, and in return, he help to create who I am today.  Despite all that has happened, Mr Chance will play one of the most important parts in my life, despite the fact he is dead and gone from this Reality.  I gave him lots, and I am not sure how much of it I have told you.  I gave him a place to live.  I gave him money.  I taught him the inner workings of how the mind worked.  I showed him the greater powers that the brain possesses, when used.  He was a very impatient student.  He had lots of evil in him.  I do not think he started out that way.  I still remember the first day I met him.  We had chatted from the local BBS, I believe it was Mr Wizard's.  Now that I think about it, this was before we would start talking again, old friend.  So you would not know of this.  Well, he gave me directions and we decided to play some AD&D.  He told me something about a pink looking house, but never could I imagine the actual pink looking colour when I pulled up in his driveway.  I was laughing so histerically loud.  I was laughing all the way to his door, where he would see me.  I was laughing after entering his house.  Wow that was humorous.  Yeah... there is so much to Mr Chance, but of course the final days would come when thee Ex would come into my life, and take Mr Chance away. (Mair said hi).  He did not put up much of a fight.  Of course, he had a weak mind.  Weaker than mine.

Can We Finish this Some Time This Year?

     [EO today] So, getting back to today, why am I playing this song over and over?  In order to really get into this, JOHD, it is time to finish off from last Friday.  So... let us take a trip back and finish off where ever I was at in my life.  The world of Maddness......

Mr Short Term

     [EO friday - today] I should state the fact that due to my procrastination, which is exactly the reason I am still on Friday, there are some events that I am sure I have forgotten, many of them dealing with work.  For the most part, the chance of me leaving a voice message on Iowa City Gal's VM during break is insanely good.  The chance of me talking to NY Friend during break, or leaving a VM, is very good.  The chance of me getting a phone call from NY Friend that I forgot to mention because I associated with the wrong date is a definate.  The chance that I got a call from Iowa City Gal is a given.  The possibility that I said someone called me on day X and it turns out it was day Y is a strong possibility.  So, don't sue me, JOHD, if it turns out I am a little off.  I know... keep up to date and I will not have that problem. No issue there, I am working on it.  Also, it is important to mention the fact Mair would play more of a role in my active Reality.  Mair subject matter I will have to tackle as a side note.  You know how that goes.  Yet also, I should note I most likely played Civ II here and there without giving it credit.  Now that all that is said...

The AIM That Always Died

     [EO friday] AIM was being beyond difficult this day.  I would chat with people, and they would chat with me, and it was just not sending anything.  I would sign off and back on again.  They would tell me what I missed, and it would all repeat again.  The two main conversations that I had were with Alienesse and NY Friend.  They are referenced by A129/130 and Fo34/35 respectively.  Alienesse would tell me about this guy.  Dating issues would come up.  That conversation had to be completed on ICQ, reference yeh817.  It was an enlightening chat.  As for NY Friend, it would turn out to be a lot of the usual joking about who is moving where, flirting, and the like of the upcoming trip.  Self-esteem issues, her new notification sound on AIM, LJ notifications, her upcoming trip, monthly visitors, airport recognition, and STDs were a few of our conversation topics.  That had to be moved to Yahoo, since AIM was being such a dork.  AIM bothers me, it really does.  I so wish to kick it in the nuts some times.

Buddy Bar

     So, I would go to work, and do who knows what.  I know that I had plans Buddy, and due to said plans, she would show up to work even though she had the time off.  So, after work, I would go out to her truck.  I drove us to the bar, leaving Pink to fend for herself in her usual parking spot.  The bar we went to was, I believe, the Brick House.  As I was on my way there, Mr Valdez would call me.  He told me the reason he did not get back to me about fishing was due to him and something about two college women.  hEhEhE!!  He cracks me up some times.  So, we would enter said bar, and I would get to meet the surviving class of RSA gone screener.  It was cool, and among them would be the infamous Twin.

The Non Evil Twin Brother

     Buddy had told me how Twin reminded her so much of me when they were in class together.  It was as if Twin was my replacement, seeing as how I was with Buddy when I trained to be an RSA.  There were a few expectations I had of how Twin was going to be in person.  We hit it off right away, he turned out to be beyond cool.  I would not get to know much of him until a little later, however, for I was informed that a friend's sister had a falling out with someone important to her, and Buddy and said friend thought that I would be a good destraction for her.  Lady in Distress... how I am a sucker to help out a saddened soul.  So I went over, and decided to play pool against said friend.  Said friend would decide to team with her LEAGUE playing boyfriend, and "non pool playing" LiD would be my partner.  It was the plan, and the plan went well.  I was not sure if we were going to win any games at all, however, a little bit of luck and some revived pool skills would have us be victors twice out of the many times we played.  hEhEhE, we should have gotten a handicap or something.  No matter, my job was done, and another Reality was given a slight detour from the hells of life.

More than Food at Perkins

     [EO saturday] Buddy, Twin, and I decided some food was in order since it was getting towards closing time.  We joked around and what have you before the bar closed, then, we went to my Perkins.  I do believe the intoxication level went Buddy, Twin, then me.  Before I made it too far into the door, I would run into Kodiak.  Wow, I was so happy to see her.  I got a most wonderful hug, and I think even a kiss on the cheeck.  She would give me her number, which I would put into my phone as "lover" and show her with a smile.  I think she could see that I was drunk.  Actually, we were all drunk, but Buddy was most drunk, and some slight emotional bursts would help proove such.  I almost passed out while waiting for food, and would be dead tired throughout eating.  When it was close to time to leave, I would gain some unknown energy source.  This was good since I was still driving Buddy's truck.  I took her home.  The plan was to take her home, take Twin home, and in the morning, pick up Buddy, take her to my car, then we both drive off.  The plans would detour, however.

Kiss This

     I took Twin home, and he would invite me to his place.  I was all up for it, especially since drink was brought up in conversation.  I went into his place, and I could see more how he was like a long lost twin.  Electronics.  Oh yummy!  52" TV, Sony 400 disc changer with text labels for all your CDs.  However, the big thing was his Kiss collection.  Twin is to Kiss as Madd is to Floyd.  Aye, I can say that and mean it, JOHD.  Kiss stuff everywhere.  It was insane.  Well, I sat down on his very nice couch.  Two visitors would see me.  One was named Sebatian, I believe, and the other one's name eludes me.  They were two of the most adorable black cats I had seen in a long time, and they were more than happy to welcome me into their home.  Sebatian had the most amazing eyes that I can remember on a cat.  She also loved the attention from me.  So, Twin would start playing some CDs, and would wing out a guitar.  He would play along to some Metallica, and I honestly was having problems telling what was him playing and what was them.  He played so incredibly well, it was difficult to believe he was not in a band when I asked him about it.  Twin would stop and go through some of his music selection.  It was an extremely odd collection of titles, and of course, I have no room to talk about that.  hEhEhE!!  Well, low and behold, one of them sparked me well.  I would see Alice Cooper, Welcome to My Nightmare.  How ironically twisted as I look back on that.  First track would be 1, and I think my humming queued up him to skip to track 8.  Ah yes, here we go again.  He would pass out at some point, and when he drinks and sleeps, he snores, mwahaha!!  He would wake up, and we would hear a few more tunes, but even I was starting to lose consciousness.  I had to call it a night, or risk passing out and being eaten by his cats by morning.  This was by far one of the better days I had in terms of fun.  Buddy and Twin help to make it a Reality.

AC at the Fair

     So I would go home, crash, and wake up.  I had messages.  NY Friend left me one... at least, I think she did.  Buddy would call me, wanting her truck, and Iowa City Gal would leave me a message that she would be unable to make the Fair on Sunday due to foot issues.  I was cool with that, I mean, walking around the Fair for 5 hours when you have blisteres is not a cool thing, I would imagine.  Also, AC would call me to confirm that we were still going to the Fair this day.  Actually, she would call me, yeah, that's right, dah.  I was in the process of picking up Buddy and taking her to Pink so I could have her back.  On the way to Pink, Buddy and I talked about the previous waking day.  I told her how cool I thought Twin was, and some of what we did after we dropped her off.  Then, I returned home, and showered.  AC would show up right as I completed my shower.  I felt clean!  We would go to the Fair.  It took her forever to park.  hEhEhE, it was funny.  I ended up buying a lot of things, including yet another Floyd piece.  Also, I would make a nice trip to the Industrial building and play with the electronic keyboard thing.  I spent a lot of time on that thing.  Every now and then, AC would show definate signs of loneliness and attempt massive attention from me.  I would some times give in a little, but not always.  After that we went back to my place.  NY Friend would message me, and I would drop her a quick few notes.  Then AC and I would just talk, and AC got tired so we finally slept.  I slept in my corner for the entire night, like a good Madd, haha.  I did not wake up many times because she was in my bed, which was good, and only had my arm around her once.  I wonder what makes me do that?

Catching Up to More Than JOHD

     [EO sunday] WhooHoo!!  JOHD, I did it!  I made it back to the 160 mark!  I am so happy with myself.  I am sure that Fair food had a lot to do with it, after all, we ate quite a bit while we were there.  Well, she left insanely early, which is what I expect from her, because she just has that ability.  I would wake up later and start to do something odd.  I would go through my old email.  I wrote a reply back to Star.  I also sent a message to Alienesse.  I now write with the thought to not ask questions, since she does not write me back.  So if I have them, I just have to hope I can remember then when I get to catch her on chat.  I was like that once.  Stupid helicopter procrastination.  I would also write NY Friend back.  I would drop a line to Brack, since I had not heard from her in an extremely long time.  I was just mentally in this mood.  Also, this is when I started to archive old email and delete a lot of it that I have had for years.  I would also chat with Jacy.  We talked about one of her old relationships and a guy she knows.  Reference Ja134.  Of course, I would also write to you, JOHD!  Yeah, all this time jumping is confusing me as well, I could only image what it would do to others.  Oh yeah, I wrote about Star.  Then Myles would call me, and I heard words I thought I never would from him.  He said he needed help beating Metal Gear Solid.  I questioned that, stating he meant for Mikey.  He said yes, however, he was actually playing it also.  That killed me, Myles playing a video game, no way I was going to miss that up!

Metal Gear Myles

     I would stop and pick up some S Ice to help fuel my fire for video game play.  Not to mention, I knew some movies were going to be happening, since it was a Sunday after all.  I got there, and Mikey was already looking for my car.  Crazy kid.  They were stuck in a vent shaft.  That was easy for me to overcome.  Also, it appeared that they were not aware how to use items or weapons.  How they made it that far in the first place is beyond me.  It was great hearing Myles talk about the game even though he was taping some movie.  Of course, Mikey was all over the place.  Rugrats do that with games.  More so than the big kids.  I really started getting into the game.  At a certain point, I let Mikey take over and watched some movies.  The first movie we would watch was... um... (Myles, where are you, help me out here)... hmm... okay, guess I will cheat and call him at work right now... pick up the phone, Myles.  I know the one movie, but I do not remember the other.  Thanks Myles!  Okay, so Evolution and Tit Raider would be our two movies.

Make Evolution Up Yours!

     I liked Evolution.  I think a lot of it dealt with the cast more so than the actual movie in itself.  Put an entire different cast, and most likely I would not even think of wanting to see this movie.  However, it was great to see DD in a different role.  While I have grown to him in X-Files, I have seen him in other roles, such as Return to Me, which showed a more sensative side.  Evolution, as one would expect, took any humor that one would see in X-Files (he was more serious) and multiply it many times over.  The movie... well... it is just a bit weird, of course, and is suppose to be.  Would I watch it when it actually makes it out to video?  Most likely.

Sex Raider

     How does a movie company do their best to not have flops such as Street Fighter:The Movie or Super Mario Brothers movie?  Add a large breasted woman, give her guns, and throw in a lot of special CGI and pray.  It may have paid off for them.  I was Resident Evil before I was Tomb Raider.  The notion that they were going to make a movie out of Tomb Raider was disturbing to me when I first heard about it.  I thought they should have made a movie from Resident Evil.  A souped up B ticket horror movie given some great effects.  But I would have to settle for this.  I came into the movie expecting to be dissipointed.  I would leave watching the movie not being dissipointed.  It seemed like they were doing their best to fit the entire movie into a time frame, since I think there were many plot holes.  But then I guess they figured more people would be busy thinking of poking it in Angelina's poopchute.  Blah... that was a reason I never really liked porn.  It never had plot.  I guess the purpose of porn was to get you to jerk off to it, but I think it would have been nice to see a well done plot so that after I am done jerking off, I have something to look forward to watching, as opposed to shutting it off.  Maybe that's just me.

NY Strikes Again

     Half way into watching TR, NY Friend would message my cell.  It was an appointment to call on the phone, which would be set up after the movie.  I would go home, she would call.  Before we would get anywhere, I would see the email that Angry Human sent me.  Of course, this is where the entry for Monday would come into play.  So, I sent my reply.  These are not yet referenced, however, but in due time they should be. So we would talk for around 6+ hours, or something like that.  We learned more about each other, and this is referenced in fone001.

Getting Warmer!

     Well, JOHD, I should wrap this up.  I did not get to what I was hoping, however.  I was looking for Wednesday, or at least Tuesday.  {sigh} I can still do this, I am making better progress.  I also have some more email and what have you to catch up on, not to mention "back issues" of things.  All in good time, friend.  Master of Maddness, signing off 0414p......
  • Current Music
    "Years Ago" - Alice Cooper, "Welcome to my Nightmare"; t8 (repeat)