August 8th, 2001


... and the Wind Cried Softly

"I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated."

     All good things must unfortunately come to an end, and this time is no exception.  I had just taken Stingray to QT, where I would fill up his gas tank, as promised, and give him change for pop and send him on his way.  It has been a while, JOHD.  I popped in here and there to drop a quickie while he was here, and now I am here to tell my stories.

Day One - Reunion

     I would be in the shower.  I would be bouncing all around, singing Life Force music.  I would almost knock myself out from too much jumping in the shower.  That towel holder thing would almost do me in, as well as the shower head.  But I was just so filled with energy.  So I went to the couch, and started preparing Gradius III by boning up on my skills.  A little later, I would call my friend in Iowa City for a quickie.  Of course, my quickies with her are anything but.  Afterwards I was lying on the couch with Gradius III music playing in the background.  I love sound tests.  Stingray must drive slower than I do.  Then again, I think most people do.  I kept thinking about him coming through the door, but at the same time, I was thinking of my Iowa City friend and how I missed talking to her, and what have you.  Hmm... this requires some exploring to do, I think I will tackle it later after work, for I am not sure if I can make this in an hour and thirty mimutes.  So eventually he shows up, and damn am I happy.  I got a sound picture of him coming in the door, with tons of stuff in his hands.  He so reminds me of me some times.  We played some Gradius.  Yeah, had to show him Loop 2 mode.  That rocked.  Well, as we were playing, Riede called.  I invited him over with us, and we all decided to go eat when he got here.  Before he showed up, Stringray and I tested our luck on the Cube Attack stage (level 9).  Did I ever mention how insanely impossible this game is?  Ha ha!  We always joke about things like that, how difficult a game is and how the japanese must be attempting to confuse us to take us over by making this butt ugly impossible games.  Haha, well, Riede showed up and got to see the impossible at work, and so we went out to Fazolies.  I got a few good pictures of people eating, haha, especially Riede, man, that was too damn funny.  I did not eat that much.  This is a concern for me that has been happening a bit lately.

Day One Continued - The Ratigador

     So we went over to Gamers.  I picked up some old school games, including Swer Shark (94 cents!), Streets of Rage II (YEAH, FINALLY!!) and I think I picked up a NES game or two.  I would have to go check.  So, after that, we went back to my place, and we played Swer Shark.  Oh my GOSH!!  This game was well beyond the 94 cents I played for it, even though I was not sure if it would play at first.  My Sega CDX was being bad, and it makes a nasty noise when attempting to load CD's into memory.  Not cool!  It finally got to working, and we watched the intro to the game.  Ghost, the co-pilot, is so damn funny it is not even funny.  Something about wiping previous pilots from the sewer walls with handiwipes comes to mind, haha.  Man, we were all cracking up listening to it, and Stringray was able to quote a few things.  I guess he played it a long time ago.  So the game starts, and this crazy robot thing known as Catfish starts talking about how he hears something breathing, and how he is gonna be ratigator bait.  hEhEhE!!  Aye, JOHD, that is what I was ranting and raving about ealier.  Well, Ghost provided TONS of humor as we were playing, and after that, I pulled out the old NES and put in Life Force!!  FINALLY!!  We get to join forces in a game who's music has given us much to sing and play guitare to!  It was soooo much fun, evne if I was not at my usual never getting hit state.  Also, we would hit up on Gradius I for the NES.  Yeah, that was the other game I got, now I remember, haha.  Pro Wrestling would be next.  Wow, that brought back memories.  It took a while to get use to the controls again.  I was the overall champ, and got beat only a few times.  Damn I am good!  Next we would play Streets of Rage II.  Well, for the most part, Riede and I would play, since Stingray wanted to watch.  We never even made it to the end, or even close if I remember.  He died too soon, and I was left fighting everyone.  It did not stop me from taking a few people out, but the big time came when I brought out Max and the Anal Expander�.  Hahaha, the coolest and most deadly move in the game.  We them dueled, and Stingray would also join.  They wanted nothing more than to kick the crap outta me, and it would happen since all I cared about at the time was doing the Anal Expander� to them both, which I would eventually end up doing and taking them out.  I did not want to be mean and bring out my boy Alex, since I would have been undefeated with him.  After that, we would end up playing TimeSplitters for the rest of the night.  It was great.  We would play us three vs all possible bots on max, and we would win massively.  The bank vault was way too much fun.  Then we would go for some bag tag.  That turned out to be difficult, since there was way more of them to steal our bag, however, I was the one to get all their bags.  I think Stingray got one, and Riede did a great job defending ours, for the most part.  Then we split up and all three of us were "leaders" of computer teams.  I would end up with the most ignorant teammate ever.  I mean, I was able to guard our bag, but with a whole list of teams, that would mean instant defeat, so I would have to go out, and unprotect our bag while Stingray would hide in his corner and nuke me almost every time I would walk around the corner.  It got to a point where i was able to nuke him in his own base, grab his bag as he would spawn right in front of me, and then I would still make it out in time to hunt Riede down, who had found out the location of my base, and would be running with mine.  He would eventually end up stealing a few, haha, the ratigator bastard!  It was a lot of fun, even though I would end up in last place.  Booo to that.  Stingray would be the winner after the 30 minutes was up.  It was funny since Riede was in first almost since the start.  Four in the morning being too much for him, Riede would venture out back to his cave (where his woman would beat and control him, haha, just kidding Allison ;) ). Some point in the middle of it, Iowa City would call me and talk to me for a few.  It was nice hearing from her, even though I was already surrounded by love.  Haha, just made me feel more special, I guess.  After playing a few more rounds, we would both crash.

Day Two - The Magical Genie

     We would wake up, or at least, I would be outta bed first.  I was chatting on the computer since he was taking time to wake up.  Then, a little bit after, he would get his guitare and start playing to the music my computer was playing, as I was singing it.  Why?  Because, JOHD, that's what we do!  Haha!  Play games, sing the music, play the music, play the games, lather, rinse, repeat when necessary.  So let me think now... Sunday.  Hmm... what ever did we do?  Oh yeah!  We played games, haha.  Actually, after listening to him bitch how hungry he was, we would finally go to iHOP.  I have come to the conclution that they are not worth the money anymore, and that I can do much better at a lot of places.  After that... we... would... play more games.  Wow, I am attempting to remember what it was we played.  Hmm... I think we reverted to old school NES games.  Oh yeah, it was Kid Icarus.  We would break out the Game Genie and make some very insane codes.  We came up with one that made it so when you hit the start button, the inventory screen would be all over everywhere, and things would be out of place and the background was messed up.  It was so much fun!  We ended up doing this for a lot of the rest of the night, but there were a few other games we would eventually do the same for.  We came up with codes for a few games.  Also, I would get to talk to Iowa City girl again.  Plenty of fun for everyone!

Day Three - Getting Back into the Game

     Well, once again, I would be outta bed first, and I would chat away with my friends again.  This time, however, it would be followed with me confirming I would see my NY friend for sure, so, I would stop at work after we took off and get my vacation set up for Sept 1st - Sept 9th.  During the entire time, someone from Minisota had called for Stingray, and since it was forwarded to my cell phone, there was no problems there.  We would then take off for Country Kitchen.  His call would drop, and he asked why, and then the radio said time for some Numb, and I said that's why (refering to 5th Dimentional working), and turn up the radio.  I took the senic route, of course, so the 6 minutes and 24 seconds would all be enjoyed.  The food and service at CK was better by far than iHOP.  We would then go to Gamers again and I would buy $151 in old NES games.  A few of the games were actually SNES and an extra controller for my N64.  We would go back home and blast away some two player action for Swords and Serpents.  Then, we would up and leave to go see dITZ, since, it was her birthday.

Oh No!  I'm Ratigator Bait!

     Stupid time.  Stupid work.  I have been gone this long, they should be use to me not being around, haha.  Well, JOHD, I will have to let you go for now.  I must get ready for work.  I am thinking of stopping over at Mari's after work, since I did not get back to her email within 24 hours, I will have to give up going to the G this day.  I should call Merv and let him know.  Catch you in a few, JOHD.  Master of Maddness, signing off......

... and the Wind Continued to Cry Softly

"From now on your handle will be... DOGMEAT."

Day Three Continued - dITZ Party

     So we took off to dITZ place and when I got there, I set up camp.  I had the N64 hooked up in mere minutes, if even that.  Yeah, JOHD, I rock with electronics, haha.  I just so wish she would let me put the stereo on top of the VCR, it would make things so much faster, but alas, not my electronics, so, I will not argue.  Super Smash Brothers went in fast.  As always with SSB, I was the massive victor.  Haha, they even went 3 on 1 against me and I took them all down.  I think one time I got beat from the many.  Haha, stupid original level and its platform issues.  At some point, a whole buttload of people showed up.  We all had fun either watching or playing, and it was great to hear 5 other people cheering on the others (mainly to stop me, mwahaha!!) Yeah, I am still the greatest.  I guess GB Tetris is not the only thing that I have great powers in.  After some time, and after most people left, we switched it over to Mario Party, per request.  You know, Stingray always has an excuse to why he may not be doing as well in a game we are playing.  Some times, we just have to face there are others better at us in certain areas.  I was losing Mario Party almost all throughout the game, however, thanks to some great skill, I made a great comeback and pulled out 1st.  Mario Party is not the biggest game in regards to skill.  One stop to Chance Time and the game can randomly take a big turn.  After that, I would end up playing with someone in SSB, minus Stingray who was too tired.  Haha, yeah, too tired of my crushing him.  We would come back home around 0300a or so, and decided to play one of the $151 of NES games I bought.  It was Micro Machine Racing, and it was a very interesting game.  I had soooo much fun playing it!  He basically had me, except I figured out the game towards the end, and around 0700a it was time to hit the sack.

Day Four - Pad Bound

     More chatting fun, as usual.  We decided we were not going out or anything.  I was on the net researching codes for Castlevania III, which would be the game of choice to start out with.  We played the heck out of it.  Well, for the most part I watched, and then later we would alternate between guys.  hEhEhE, did I mention how much he reminds me of myself, especially when playing video games?  He finally beat it.  We would end up playing Castlevania Bloodlines, and I ordered us Chinese food.  I would also end up drinking 7 bottles of Smirnoff.  That stuff is really good, and has more alcohol than beer, I heard.  I always thought beer had 5.5% in it.  Iowa City friend would call, and I would take her into the bathroom with me, as it took 45 minutes for me to potty.  Haha, I had alreayd gone like 3 times, I felt like a pregnant woman.  After some time of playing, Stingray about lost all feeling in his hand.  We had been playing for most of the day.  So I understood how he could be losing it.  I was starting to lose consiousness.  The alcohol was doing the usual in knocking my mind out of service.  He went to bed, and I was on-line, attempting to chat with people, but I was soooo tired.  Also, JOHD, I think we might have a possible virus or something.  I keep getting a pop-up box about some odd password, and it has been happening more and more, and I cannot do anything when it happens.  A good format, that is what this computer requires.  I would end up passing out in my bed (jumping over Stingray), leaving two people I was chatting with "high and dry" wondering where I was.

Day Five - The Ending

     Well, this brings up to today.  After waking up, we would play some Streets of Rage I, which may be my flavorite fighting game ever.  We would have a lot of fun, even though I realized he would be leaving me soon.  So we played until it came time for him to head out, so, we went to QT and I paid for his gas like I said I would, and then I walked back to my place and he was gone {sigh}. 

Listen to the Hormone

     So I came home, and I started talking to you.  Of course, I had to work, and was chatting up a storm with people at the same time.  At this point, I have been flirting heavily with two people on-line.  Both of them are many moons away from me, even though I am going to see the one, and the other one has commented how she is sure some day (soon) that we will get together here in good old Des Moines.  Also, as I have already told you, my libido has gone into some sort of raging overdrive.  Of late, I noticed that I do not have to be drunk or in any way shape or form for the urges to overwhelm my body.  I know that sex and sex drive is a programmed part of human existance.  I realize it is built into me, otherwise, the human populous would have died out.  But at the same time, I do like to maintain some sense of control of my realm.  I have found that I can be easily seduced.  This use to never be an issue for me.  I think of times when my first former girlfriend was at my place after we broke up, and I resisted attempts at sexual activity.  If this Madd was the same Madd then, the resistance would have been almost futile.  I flirt with the two friends I have because the distance makes it safe on both sides.  At least, that was the case.  It now is to the point where I will see one for sure.  It is a given, unless God decides to intervine.  That is always a possibility that must never be ruled out.  However, I cannot predict God's actions.  Thus, it is not right for me to add God into the equation.  I just know that she is excited to see me, and I have taken the time off and invested the money to go see her.  It will be exciting.  New York is huge.  It is something very different.  It will be a change of pace.  Plus, it also is so nice to feel so welcomed.  I have come to understand the great feeling of people who wish for others to be around.  Haha... kind of crazy for someone who is not about impressions he gives to others.  But, when I look down and see that in 1000 no one is going to know of my existance, I guess I would like my current time on earth to be something that was not wasted.  So when someone finally is able to trust me, put her money into a flight, when it has backfired on her before, well, that is a good sign of trust, and trust is what I am all about.  That makes the trip down there satisfying, to turn a faceless name into an actual person who was not created as an intelegent bot to trick me into thinking, "No really, I am real".  But even for me, the sexuality appears to be at unstable levels.  I do believe this is where someone is suppose to come up to me and say, "Madd, you need to get laid."  Blah humans and their some times misdiagnostics.

Observing the New Reality

     So that brings us to a serious issue to think about, JOHD friend.  Iowa City friend decided to reevalute the test and passed it.  How does this concern me?  Hmm... while she is a decent drive away, she posses possible threat to my well being.  While relationships are not something I am looking for at the moment, if I came across someone who almost was in the same Reality as my own (meaning around 50 percent or so), then it means there is always a possibility that more could come of it.  I have been spending a good deal of time convincing myself that there is no one out there.  I have been rationalizing things, even telling others there would be no one in my life.  No marraige, no kids (minus adoption), or what have you.  It is almost like I am telling myself that I am truly weak.  Weak in the head, and if there is one thing I do not like to think about, is that my whole existance has been a lie to myself, since the mind is my major existance.  I realize I am attempting to protect myself.  I want to protect myself against humans, since it has been humans that have caused almost all of my pain in my life.  Yet something about Iowa City gal gets to my mind.  I never call anyone as much as I do her.  Doing the phone thing is usually not my cup of tea, and I think the main reason for that is on the phone I can only do one thing at a time.  I like doing multiple things at once.  But, I really enjoy when she calls me, and I love talking to her.  Also, I have flirted with her very little.  That in itself sets stage to my mind that something is going on.  Its way to possibly make things work out when we finally meet.  I have trust in her, more so than anyone else, because of the fact that I give absolute trust into someone until they give me reason not to anymore.  She is playing by the same rule book.  It appeared that the rule book was something that only I read from.  All those people out there who choose to not trust at first, but wait and see.  So, JOHD, I am not sure what to think.  Thoughts of her have been predominate in my mind, even though there are a few other things that have been catching up to "what does Madd get to think about/daydream now?"  I always look for flaws in people.  Not just any flaws, but certain flaws that can make me have a friendship with someone, and that be it.  Once again, to protect myself.  Just think of all the times I have been boned over, JOHD.  All the times I told you of some male or female who has some how broken my heart.  A friend who said they would be there for me, just to turn his/her back when I required their help the most.  But man... NO ONE had passed any of my tests!  Darn it!  I made those tests impossible just so I could live peacefully in my own existance.  I do not want to think that my happiness could be increased thanks to the presence of another human being.  That is defined as weakness specifically to me.  It is not to other people, because it is not how other people live.  It is, however, how I live.  Well, part of it anyway.  So she shows up Saturday.  She actually shall be spending the night here.  I guess I could always play Floyd the entire time.  I still see that as the best protection I have from anyone.  But maybe some where inside my heart, I would never want to play Floyd.  Maybe some where inside this head and heart sees this person... as the one.  Eeks... does that freak you out as much as it does me?  I mean, seriously, JOHD.  Someone who can pass a test of mine is someone who has great ability to "make their way inside, find the core, and completely destroy it".  It means she possibly knows how to play her cards right to get whatever she wants.  Some people live on the ability to control or destroy other people.  It gives them a sense of power.  It gives them purpose, knowing they are that good to where they can do what they want to people.  Okay... I think I got it all out of my system for now, hEhEhE!!  {sigh} Eh... maybe I just do not want to see myself as weak.  At any rate, I do have to go over to Mari's, and I will have to continue this when I get back.  Master of Maddness, signing off......
  • Current Music
    Mostly Video game