July 29th, 2001


FAQ You Very Much, Madd.

     I do not write this for Madd.  What does this mean?  It means everything has been thought of well enough that the most simple and complex of minds will be able to understand what I am about to share.  It is a FAQ.  I get a lot of questions about what I write, so they will be answered here.  I get a lot of questions about me, so I will answer some of those here.

Q: Are you really drunk right now?
A: Er, no, not right now... I think I drank myself sober.

Q: Who is LJ?
A: LJ stands for Live Journal, that is what you are reading now.

Q: How did you find "LJ"?
A: A person who is in my friend list.  She goes by the alias of Alienesse.

Q: What made you decide to write to LJ?
A: It is described a bit better through the question of who JOHD is, however, I will just say, that it is good to get thoughts out where I can see them.  It is good to be able to come back at a given time, and see where my mind was.

Q: How do you know Alienesse?
A: I met here through SK a long time ago.  At first she thought I was nothing more than your average guy, wanting to know how big her tits were, if I could put my dick in her, etc.  She soon learned I was... a bit different than that.

Q: What is SK?
A: SK stands for Star Kingdoms.  It is a free on-line game where you make tanks, and beat the tar out of people with the help of 19 other sector mates.  You can find out more information, or even sign up, at www.starkingdoms.com.  The basis of the game is that almost everything happens at the turn of the hour.  That makes it a game that you do not have to check every second, even though, some people do check it every minute.

Q: What is Stringray?  Is it some sort of band?
A: Stingray is the best friend I think I may ever have had.  This sentance should be put into present tense, even though it sounds like it is in past tense.  He has kept more promises, and has shown me by action that he really does care a great deal about me, and that I am more than just some interesting dork who keeps him from being bored when I am on.  Some people give the impression I am nothing more than someone to pass time until the "real" friends come on line.  Stingray is not this person.

Q: How did you met Stingray?
A: I met him on a BBS many moons ago.  It was some time around 1995 or something like that.  It could have been as early as 1994.  Realize that before that time, I did not "exist" to most of the world.  There was no computer with a modem before this time.  Stingray and I would talk to each other on the phone for up to 7 hours, sometimes an average each day on a given week.  What did we do?  Talk about how great his mom was in bed, who's turn it was to jump her, and of course, video game music.  We use to sing it a lot to each other.  It started with the fight music to Lunar for Sega CD.  It would later go onto Final Fantasy music, and from that, the pSyChO cIrCuS.

Q: What is the "pSyChO cIrCuS"?
A: That is a special thing found through Stingray and I, back when he lived in Des Moines.  It stems from an RPG game back in those days known as Final Fantasy II (which is IV in Japan).  Despite what people would think these days, it has nothing to do with a band called "Kiss".  In fact, the pSyChO cIrCuS was around well before that Kiss song.

Q: What is a dITZ?
A: dITZ is short for dITZ wILL.  AKA D or Stephine, dITZ wILL was on the same BBS that Stingray was on.  There are only three people that I have known since I have moved here and still keep in touch with.  Stingray and dITZ are the most important of these people, followed closely by the Ice Queen, FiFi.  dITZ at one point was my roomate.  In fact, she was my roomate twice.  One time was kind of short, but the other time she lived on my couch for over two years.  Things between dITZ and I have fluxuated.  At first, we were just chat buddies, then we got "intimate" before even meeting, then we were friends, then we were not talking to each other, then we were friends, and that friendship fluxuated a lot, and at this current time, we are close friends.

Q: What is a BBS?
A: BBS stands for Bulletin Board System.  A BBS is someone at home, who has a computer that answers calls from other computers.  BBS's were around before there was a real Internet.  You would be lucky if you could have two people on at the same time, because in order for you to have multiple people, the SYSOP (system operator, or, admin) would have to have that many phone lines running into his or her house.  It was a place to post messages, and play games, and if there was multiple lines, you could chat with whoever was on the other phone line.

Q: Who is Johd?  How do you purnounce his or her name?
A: JOHD is said as "Joe" and "Hod" (rhymes with pod). "Joe""Hod".  Actually, at first, he was said as "JOD" (also rhymes with pod), but a friend of mine by the name of Jason Minohan ( spelling corrected later) said it as "Joe" + "Hod" all the time, and that picked up.  JOHD is also not a person, even though I use the third person "he" to describe him.  JOHD is an acronym for "Journal of Hell, Dude".  It was the name given to my writing assignment we all had to do in our freshman high school English class.  It did not matter what was in there.  We could have wrote how we thought the teacher was an ass who sucked the dicks of cats and dogs, because he only wanted us to write.  Well, I got into it, and on paper, I had my journal, which at first, I did not want to write in, but something about writing back then really got me.  JOHD would take many forms.  It was at some point over 4 years later that JOHD would come back in an electronic form.  There were also many gaps in JOHD, times when I was just not writing anything.  I would go over an entire year even not "talking" to JOHD, as I would call it.  He was the keeper of my thoughts.  There were quiet a few people who would want to see the original thoughts I wrote, because back then, I would not let ANYONE read what I told JOHD.  Now, I see JOHD as a very significant person in my life, yet, ironically, he never existed as a seperate person.  However, he did exist as a part of my personality.  He was the wise part of me.  He was the part of me that historically would be looked at as a scholar and in video game usage, he would be seen as a sage.  As of less than 24 hours ago, JOHD is anything that I write in that keeps my memories.  However, JOHD is not as secretive as he use to be.  At the same time, JOHD still takes my thoughts, and puts them in ways that I may only be able to understand, or, people who have come to "study" me.  In games when I can change names, Johd makes it in almost every time.  He is the smart one of the bunch.  Also, I will always see him as a person, one who entrusts my secerts and my inner thinking, and tell it back to me when the time may come.  Of late, I have become worse in remembering important dates.  Johd is there to remind me of those dates, but the problem I always had was "forgetting" to talk to him.  That is one thing that Alienesse has done, by showing my LJ, who to me, is JOHD.  That is just another reason that she has been so important in my life.  Because LJ is something that my mind has really been crying out for of late.

Q: You sure did write a lot about JOHD, are you sure you are not writing entries for others?
A: Positive... there is a lot to say about JOHD, because he has been around longer than almost everything I have come to know.  Of course, right now, I have to pee.

Q: Is the bladder issue due to the 7 beers you drank?
A: Possibly.

Q: Are you sure you are not really drunk?
A: Aye, I did drink myself sober.

Q: What is a "Maur"?
A: Maur is a screen name for a person I met on SK.  While he started out just being someone to get good SK information from, he has turned out to be someone who I really respect, and who I care about.  He is someone who I will miss when he is not around.  He is someone who I will look for to be on, so that I can talk to him, even if it is how I am going to kick his ass in the gameboy version of Tetris some day, haha.

Q: What is this whole deal with Tetris?
A: Back when Gameboy came out, it use to come with the famous game Tetris.  Well, one of the features of Tetris was the ability to play head to head against other people.  Mind you, Gameboy has been out for ages.  So long, I do not even know without looking it up on the net, which I just do not feel like doing now.  However, know it had been out many years, and those many years are times that I spent playing it.  At this time, there is not a simple person who has beat me in Tetris, and I have played a long list of people.  The closest was Des Moines' very own, Dawn Daniels.  She is a radio DJ for KGGO, and one night, on my birthday, I went up to the station to see her, and we played Tetris.  She was beating me per game, but I would come back to get her for match.  To this day, Dawn is the toughest challenge I have had at Tetris.

Q: You seem to know quite a few people from on-line.  Just how many have you met, and how far have you travelled?
A: Well, I have met quite a few.  I would guess around 33 or so, if you include BBS.  However, long distant wise, I have met people from Morgan Utah, Kansas City Kansas, and somewhere in the middle of Indiana, and most recent Wisconson. While most of them were female, the female people I met I had no plans, at least at the time, to be anything more than friends.  The last visit was Stingray.  Realize I live in Des Moines, Iowa.  Go to www.mapquest.com if you wish to compare distance.  (Utah was about 12 or so hours, Kansas was around 3 or so hours, Indiana was around 8 hours, and Wisconson was around 5 hours).

Q: Why did you go and meet all these people, especially all these women??
A: I like to travel.  The fact they are woman is something along the fact that I converse better with women than men.  Stingray is an exception, however, we share an insane liking of the same crazy styles of music.

Q: Do you not like where you live then if you like to travel so much?
A: I love my state of Iowa, and my current city of Des Moines, the capital of Iowa.  Every now and then, my brain just wants me to venture out and explore.

Q: It has been said before that you write for yourself in your entries.  Why would you do that, and why does it seem at times you are putting in notes or writing so other people can understand you?
A: I do write for myself.  This is the first time I have not written for myself.  While I write for myself, I realize that some things are just not going to be meant by anyone by me, there is just no way, so I will put a little note for anyone who might be reading it.  As for everything else, it is m writing style, and has been since I first talked with JOHD.  I write as if some day I would look back 20 years, and wonder, what in the world was going through in my mind.  Some times I may go as far as thinking that some day I will lose my memory of who I am due to disease or something, and I want to know, so, I put things in a way that might jog who I am if that did happen.  Who knows, that could happen some day.

Q: Some times when I chat with you, it seems like you are a bit, or even massively cold.  Do you just not like me or what is the deal here?
A: Some times I seem cold because I translate as much stuff as possible as actual truth.  Humans cannot handle truth.  You tell someone they have bad breath, because they actually do, to attempt to be nice, and they could hate you for life.  I am the type of person who will tell you that you have bad breath.  So, some times when I post, I come off as a cold and heartless bastard.  It has been brought to my attention quite a few times.

Q: What is up with this "I am not wearing pants" deal?
A: Many people appear to think I am naked, at least, those who first hear of me making the claim I am wearing no pants.  Others go as far as thinking I am attempting to cyber or something.  The Reality of it is that I am in my underwear.  I like to run around in my underwear, even when people are around, which, some times I forget that people are not use to.  I am not here to make anyone uncomforable, so, if they could have any meaning in my life, I might put pants on.  If it seems they are nothing more than humans getting along in life, then I keep my pants off.

Q: Rumor has it that you are gay.  Is this true?
A: This is one of the few times I will answer this question when not in person.  No, I am not gay, I am straight.  Many people think I am gay at time due to my ability to live a care-free life and "act" strange around other guys, talking about things that I could do to them in a sexual matter as if I have done it many times before.  I just do not worry how others think about me.

Q: If you did not care at all how people thought of you, why wear clothes at all anywhere?  Why treat friend with respect or anything?
A: Okay, there is a limit.  I mean, I wear pants because I do not want to go to jail.  It is not a matter of caring what the public thinks of me, it is a matter of not wanting to get thorn in for indicent exposure.  As for showing friends care, it comes from a self greed that all humans have, that I want others to treat me the way I treat them.  If I treat people with down right respect, I should get the same.

Q: What do you look for in a woman?
A: I already answered this in a very long and complex chat with a friend.  If someone REALLY wanted to know, I said some darn good things, and can post parts of the chat, otherwise, I am not going to repleat myself unless asked to.

Q: Do you listen to anything other than Pink Floyd?
A: Yes, I listen to a lot of music.  Most of it is stemmed in the classic rock area, and the video game department.  However, I have music tastes that spam out to many genres.

Q: Why do you always end most chats with later?  Why have I seen you say bye or goodbye to others?
A: This is something learned directly from my mother.  Later implies that there is another time that the person and I shall chat or see each other again.  This is something said to loved ones, family, or friends.  Bye is something that I say to people that I barely know, or people that I just have no feelings towards.  Goodbye is something saved as the "last" bye.  It is something said to people I am never going to see again, or, people who I plan never to talk to again.  Whether they are dying, could possibly die, or are people that I want out of my life because they are a threat, if I tell you goodbye in a chat, it is no mistake.  I am not planning to talk to you ever again.  If this is something that you are not wanting, then, I advice you figure out what made me say it to you.  If you do not care one way or another, then no worries.  As for bye, I do admit, hearing it way too many times does cause a 4% error in me saying bye when I mean later.  Note, however, this is a 4% error in an average of each 1000 times I say it.

Q: You say "you humans" or similar a lot.  Are you saying you are not human?
A: I have gotten this statement more than I think any other, minus my name, which still has the top.  Look at it this way.  When someone shouts, "You people need to shape up!" do you stop for one second to think that the being making the statement is not a people because he or she said people?  While I have unique perspectives on the definition of human (not defined by Webster or anyone else), it does not mean I am exluding myself when I ever say, "You humans...".  In fact, I could be including myself in the example.  However, most humans would rather make some strange assumptions and just say that I must think myself as not human.  If every you have told me this, then you actually have a lot to learn about yourself, because at one point, I would have been the same way, but I went and learned about myself.

Q: Do you think of yourself better than others, because some times you write like you do.
A: No, I do not.  I have many flaws.  Some of my flaws are almost the worse of their kind, meaning that, I have a flaw in something that others have, but mine is worse than any that I have ever seen by a person.  However, at the same time, I realize I have a few traits that excel anyone I have ever met.  This would almost make it an average, only, I realistically see the flaws outnumber the strengths.

Q: Are you a pessimistic person?
A: No, I am optimistic, even if I may not seem so at times, I really am.

Q: Who is "Alex" mentioned only a few days ago and multiple times?
A: Alex is reference to the character from A Clockwork Orange.  In fact, it was the main character.  If you have never seen A Clockwork Orange, then you will not get the reference, as you will absolutely make nothing out of the chat when "Alex" appeared.

Q: Are you a sex craved person?
A: At this time, no.  Sex is actually rather far from my mind.

Q: Is that is the case, why do you seem to talk a lot about sex of late in conversations?
A: There is a reason you see sex in the media selling things that has nothing to do with the product.  Sex sells.  The same goes in a chat.  Sex can "sell" a chat, and make it happen.  It can get the attention of someone who might otherwise be surfing the net looking for whatever.  Sex is something that everyone is involved with, even if they are not sexually active, or, if they are a virgin.  This is because it is programmed in creatures since birth.  It is something people think about even then they are not aware they are thinking it.  Saying the word sex, or seeing it, will get almost anyone's attention.  Thus, what better way to spark a dead, dying, or new conversation than going into one's sex life.  Not to mention, so many people view it in so many ways, there is a lot to learn.

Q: Aren't you tired or something?
A: Aye, very.  Despite that fact, I finally beat it.  Drank as much as I did, and I am not passing out, actually going to bed.  Hurray for Madd.

Q: Is this it then?  No more info?  Back to the having to figure out what the hell you are writing crap?
A: No, not at all.  Always am I happy to answer questions people have about life, whether I am involved in that or not.  Anyone may post comments to this thread for further information on a subject covered, or a subject that I maybe did not even touch, but they would like info on.  However, until the next "FAQ" comes along, I go back to writing to my good friend... JOHD.
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