July 21st, 2001


Curiosity, tests, family, babies and time.

     Eeks!  Someone sedate me!  This is no good at all, I have way too much energy.  The problem with meeting new Realities is that some of them push a curiosity level above the normal levels.  Curiosity on how people are is just something that has always been an issue with me.  Usually, time is a "healing" factor.  I find for the most part, they get bored, or run out of things they want to talk about, and what have you.  Do not get me wrong, some times it is not good to be healed.  I find only when I have dropped my guard enough to get respect for someone, only to have them move on in life, well, I guess that is just one more person who took a piece of my life, and after getting it, took off.  To date, I think that number is around 30?  Some stick it through, even when some of my most difficult tests come flying their way (*waves at Maur*).  If I was wearing a hat, I would tip it in the direction of all who have put up with me, one of the most difficult beings to date.  Of course, I am not wearing pants, let alone a hat.  Being difficult was never anything I attempted to be.  I get closer and closer to understanding what may cause my subconsious is up to.  Some time I expect to be totally aware.  While by theory, it is said to not be a possible thing, I like to think of the saying, "There is an exception to every rule."

     Big day today, after I wake up.  I have some partying to do.  This is no ordinary partying.  We are talking my family, and further, mother's side of the family.  Haha, these are the people who when together, almost get kicked out of resturants.  Yeah, brings an interesting meaning to the term "family oriented".  I notice of late I have been spending a lot more time invovled with family.  I am sure there is something behind there.

     I never seem to do things in chronilogical order.  Work was interesting.  I actually was talking to people about the fact I have been thinking of adopting or having someone carry my kid (saragent mother, pardon my horid spelling of that).  One lady actually made a comment how she would do that for me.  She might have been serious, or dear heavenly me.

     Er, moving forward?  I guess so.  Ha ha, nothing but computer for me!  Chatting away.  Met yet another Reality, I guess, had some things to think about.  Also, the conversations I have with an old friend are picking up once again.  We sort of stopped talking for a while, and I am estatic that she is conversing with me again (*waves at Jacy*).  One of the Realities I thought to be lost... but some how... the ties are back.

     FFIV... still dictating my life, I see.  While the past two days have rendered me free of crazy sleep patterns, I would still give up a good chat with someone to ensure that I get my gaming business done.  Ha ha... according to my calculations, with me going back home, I may not get to play on Sunday.  I wonder if the thought of that will give me nightmares?  As long as I remember the dreams, that is most important.  Dreams, the gateway into that which we are always looking for answers to: our inner self.
  • Current Music
    "Sub Lunar Levels" - FFIV in background on PS

Battlefield Floyd

     Yeah baby this is what I need!  You know, I had cried myself to sleep as I was praying for my grampa and asking the Lord to not take him away.  I explained how I knew that when people had to go they had to go, and I asked that grampa Huetter be allowed to stay a little bit longer, because I did not want to go to his funeral any time soon.  Now that I think about it, the last time I cried was many moons ago.  I do not even remember the reason I would have cried.

     God works in funny ways.  I do love those ways, however.  I left the computer running so that I could hear Numb playing, and into the dream I go.  Part one involed me being in some sort of French class with other people.  The teacher was singing Comfortably Numb over and over again.  I was so insanely happy.  The way it worked, was everyone had to sing one of the words into the song some how.  There were about 10 or so other people in the class. Each time I would always be singing or humming along even though it was not my turn.  A little before it was my turn, someone turned the television on, and there was either digital cable or a satalite going on.  Some one turned it to a station that was playing "The Wall" and it was going with the music.  I was starting to go beyond euphoric.  Something was happening to my mouth, however, and I went out to get a drink.  I came back and sat there.  There was this strange metal thing in front of me that came alive.  It had Pink Floyd on it, and it was looking at me, and moved closer to me, and I reached up and petted it.  I was in such a state of bliss.  I then looked at the work sheet, and realized I was not which word to used.  I was afraid that I would use a word someone else did, and I could not understand most of the words.  I think they were all in Enlgish even.  The time came, and it was finally my turn, but I could not get any voice out at all.

     The next thing I know, I am involved in the movie Battlefield Earth.  Mind you, I have never seen this movie before.  Two people were talking about the children of Mars.  Then, there are about a few thousand people on one side with crazy pointer things moving towards another group of people with the same thing.  All you could see was people.  I kept jumping perspectives.  I was either third person looking at everyone from a slightly elevated distance, or, I was looking through John Travolta (who I think I was suppose to be at times) or I was looking third person right behind John.  The next thing I remember, I was in some suit, and the hood kept sliding to the side, and I could not see out of that part.  They were crazy hoods that you could barely see from.  Then, some girl grabbed me and started to lead me down a trail.  I told her how I was defenseless since I had no gun or weapon on me.  She said it was okay, she would protect me.  Then poof, I wake up to Comfortably Numb.  Damn, I am in such an ecstaticly great mood.

     So I jump on here, and what is the first thing that I get?

WannasmileS (10:36:01 AM): i need you today??

How do I reply?

Madd74 (10:36:08 AM)
: Wow, you need me?

Turns out that my friend here is going to get her eye pierced (again) and wants me in the room.  Always a sucker I am for a human in distress.  Part of my job description.

     Well, I should get ready to take off now.  Still need to work on those pounds, I am currently at 154.5, so once again I am dropping and having problems getting it back to 160.  Also, another Reality possibly saved around 0330a this morning.  One of those people who I thought had moved on and left me behind just may still have enough feelings in her to want to stick around to learn more of me (*waves at Nic*).  I felt so relieved after our chat.  It is the first chat in a long time where we had a lot to say to each other, even if I was soing most of the talking, haha.  When am I NOT doing most the talking in a chat with some one?

     Well, I hope I come back in one piece... or, I should say, I hope I am in one piece while I am home so I can come back.
  • Current Music
    "Comfortably Numb" - Pink Floyd, The Wall; d2t6 repeating