Madd's Log, Maddate 060629.48:
So Jen/O finally arrives. I was in my strange mood still, and she went into not wanting to hang around as much if I was going to be so non caring of life. Things just got out of control, as they have been. She was being cynical, and she was also thinking a lot of things I was doing dealt with her, such as closing my tab early. We ended up going to the parking lot to chat a good 1.5 hours. I really do not know what I am going to do. This keeps on happening, and I am not sure the reason she keeps acting a way she herself would not approve of it happened to her. Unfortunately, I do not remember a lot of what went on. Imagine that, as that is what I get for procrastinating.
So, I went into work, and for some reason had a really strong sense about myself. It was like it was time to rally against this whole thinking of death and almost being afraid of it. So I did do so.
Well, Jen started sending me messages about hooking up during lunch. Wow, I cannot remember the last time someone wanted to hook up with me for lunch. It would have been Gretl or Melissa. She started to get more... persistent, and I noticed she was talking about need, so this seemed rather serious. It turned out there was a very good reason for this, as I guessed from the start, however my guess could not even come close to comparison to my reason when I got the MMS message on my phone.
It was a pregnancy test.
It had pink lines on it, and there was more than one. SHE’S PREGNANT!!
MY FLIPPING WORD, JOHD, I AM GOING TO BE A DADDY!! AaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
At my lunch, I went downstairs to meet Jen in the lobby, and the first thing I said as I gave her a big hug was that I forgave her last night for being totally crappy, hEhEhE!! We talked, determined at this time it best we keep it on the low end, and definitely not tell the parental units on either side. I am sure we pretty much well know the conception time, and it has not even been three weeks. This is the time that things... can... go wrong... and as much as one would not want to think about it, it can happen, so, better to wait when we have had some time, and the baby decides that the baby is going to stick to the wall. Also, in realizing that the baby is a living thing, and not an “it”, I started to call the small package baby Zy, for zygote. I realized this is not going to be the case for the full pregnancy, so I decided on little X. X seamed just right, as we all have the X chromosome in us, with Y differentiating male. So for the pregnancy term, realize who little X is, JOHD!
So yeah, my night was pretty much well... changed. I mean... my word, I am going to be a father! Ten years of practice kicks in, and I see that my swimmers can do just that, swim! I ended up calling dITZ, and after I ended up getting the point of what I meant by “I’m pregnant” (a side effect of being me, hEhEhE!). I started off saying I was disappointed I did not get a Father’s Day card from her. She was just like... “okay”. After getting into it more, she finally got the clue, and I tell ya, she was more happy than Jen and I combined, hEhEhE!! Well, dITZ has known me for well over a decade, so if anyone would react that way I would expect her. Granted, it would be nice if I was totally in love, and married, however life does not always turn out the way we would like. I noted to her this did not mean anything about me marrying Jen, as I totally am against doing such thing just in the sake of a child. So she was massively happy for me :D
-sing Shine on You Crazy Diamond
-Jen/O crabby issues
-sing Sheep: Larry/BJ request
-Jen/O parking lot chat
-not ready for bed
-ready for day
-1430,work: 1 HR OT
-phone call dITZ