Madd Martin L Kroeger (madd74) wrote,
Madd Martin L Kroeger

Give Me Electro Chips

Madd's Log, Maddate 060108.78
-0000,return pad
-DVD movie: Big Trouble in Little China
-return pad
-DVD movie: Interactive Body Parts
-not ready for bed
-slept: passed out
-Hearts/360: Live
-ready for day: minus shower
-echat Chrissy: chat about dating and her standards for her child
-X-Myles: a little bit late
-return pad

Well, shortly after returning home, I would get a call from Spark, and an invite to come over.  So, I grabbed some drink, and headed on over to his place.  We would end up watching a movie I picked, as Spark was to pick one for later today.  It was really great to see Big Trouble again.  I totally did not remember the first part of the movie (with Jerry Hardin doing a cameo), so that was cool.  Shortly after, I would return home, put in some porn, and pound the fuck out of myself in ways that are most likely illegal.  Talk about hormonal control problems!

So after finally waking up, most of the day would turn out to be a rather lazy not doing anything day.  This was so much so I would end up missing out on a shower, despite telling a few sources that’s what my plans were.  Well, it was getting late, and Myles was fussing about the fact I was not over there yet.  He suggested doing it another day, and I suggested skipping my shower.

Before hand, and one of the things I allowed to detain me, was chatting with Chrissy on the computer.  She mentioned the whole same as eight years, wanting to date me.  For a second, I can put Jess out of my brain (well... I can lose the fact she exists just like everything else in existence, including God) and tackle this logically.  Chrissy is just not compatible with me, in almost any sense of the word.  She has this... word, I could use a word here.  Well, it is like a selfish nature to herself, yet, she is not really a selfish person.  It is more like this attitude-type deal about her.  She is a good kid and all, however, there has always been something about her that I sensed, and it has caused issues with thinking to pursue.  Another thing noted, is her attempts at rationalization.  Care about her much I do, dealing with those rationalizations of hers would drive me overboard.  See, way back when, I noted to you when I had sex with her.  It was the first time, and she was coming over many times, I am thinking, in search of sex with me.  Then, she finally got what she wanted, and then I am not hearing from her anymore.  Her excuse, being busy.  I find it rather strange she was busy right after this point that happened.  The thing is, she kind of gave herself away, because she talked about that she cannot have guys coming in and out of her life.  Please note, JOHD, who it was who kept making references to “finishing what she started” and the like.  It boils down to, she does not make the valiant efforts to see how she is honestly as a human.  That kind will not ever work out with me.  She also shows no real desire to anything that backs up her liking me for who I am.  I honestly believe, that she got what she wanted, and wants someone in her life, and if it is me, then great, if not, she will find someone else.  I do not play that game.  The unfortunate thing is, that she most likely does not realize she is playing it, as most humans do not.  Jess has not ever shown that she wanted to be with me just to be with another person.  In no way, do I want, “I love you {insert name}, would you date me.”  I do not play that game of life.  It has to be specific.  So her story to her own self, being busy vs. wanting someone stable for her kid, well, it just does not fly proper.  At least she stated still being friends, even though, you watch JOHD, and with me saying we would not work together, note how less I see of her existence.  Funny, women bitch that is all men do, and as of late, that is what I primarily have been getting from women... minus a rare unique few.  What do you mean, JOHD, one is few also...

So I went over to Myles, to face the music of being behind.  Time management is not one of my strong suits.  It is a definite problem of mine, that I have attempted to address in many forms.  I have bought toys, gone to the doctor, got doped up on Straterra... none of it has seemed to help me.  I do have a theory to work on, however, maybe an exercise plan might help out.  I was thinking, that if I exercise my body, that it would translate to the body being better, and kind of pumping out the brain at the same time.  Now all I have to do, is figure out a way to make this work. 

So anyway, we were on the special features of the end of season six.  Myles at something to record at 2200.  So we got through most of it, and then shortly after I ended up heading out to Sparky’s.  He was actually conscious, and in a large form of the word.  I admit, I am happy when he is as it is more easy to interact with him when I do not have to repeat the answer to his questions every 9 minutes, hEhEhE!!  Master of Maddness, signing off......


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