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Dec 28th, 2005

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23:59 - Mend My Hearts

Madd's Log, Maddate 051227.28
-unlock Hearts/360
-not ready for bed
-ready for day
-over to Amy/J
-DVD movie: Mr. and Mrs. Smith
-return Des Moines
-phone call Melissa

As if I did not have enough things to keep up with, I would unlock Hearts.  I had played the demo a few times, and enjoyed the thought of Live play, along with getting some achievements.  This would fill out the rest of my night, as well as making a few new friends from Live.  My neck would be hurting a bit, enough to knock me out for the rest of the night.

I would wake up and spend most of the day not doing a whole lot, minus some video game playing.  It had been planned to spend some time with Amy/J tonight, so I would eventually end up heading up to see her.  She had a friend up there, and another would shortly join.  We would end up watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and it was not all that bad.  It is unfortunate that it is, like almost everyone on the market today, a remake.  Hollywood takes advantage of the stupidity and short attention span of its viewers.  While not much would happen for the rest of this day, I would note it strange that I was a bit more... flirty than normal, with Amy/J.  There is not anything very special about her.  I mean, there is nothing wrong with her, however, there is not anything that stands out.  The only noted thing that comes to mind is the fact she is a mother, and something about seeing a mom around kids, or carrying around in the belly, has been having strange effects on me of late.  Something about seeing motherhood in action.  Stupid clock {kick}

Well, on the way home, I would call Melissa, and that call would last a good hour.  I was returning her VM, and it turned into a massive vent session on me.  It was regarding a variety of things.  Well, it was not all venting, just a bit.  Okay, okay, for me it was a good amount, just because I otherwise have learned not to vent.  There is something about me attempting to vent with others that does not mix well.  I guess, being who I am, I have been an only child (with a sister, haha) all my life, and I have not had any childhood friends to grow up with.  I have learned to deal with things by myself.  I do believe this plays a part in humans having interaction problems with me also.  Well, that and not accepting my unique attributes and a few other things, hehe.  Melissa was able to accept it and listen rather well, and afterwards, I was impressed.  I guess if I get really drunk and want to vent out, I know who to call.  She may actually fit the bill.  The other thing mentioned was her acceptance and enjoyment of how we are now.  It went as far as implying something about dating not working, or something of that nature.  I do not remember exactly what she said, and it did make me wonder.  There is more to this I am sure I would like to know.  I am me, after all.

[[3 comments | Train your Brain]]


[User Picture]
Date:Jan 10th, 2006 06:32 (UTC)

I hope this helps. . .

I don't think I phrased it very well and am glad that you can't remember. . .

I like our "status" now. We are friends (ok well *I* think we are friends) I rather enjoy hanging out with you. I love playing video games (and you showing me new systems I am not interested in :p) and watching Monk.

I am not sure the Melissa now could date the Madd now. We have both changed. And it's not just because I have a boyfriend.

Does that help at all?
[User Picture]
Date:Jan 11th, 2006 06:21 (UTC)

Re: I hope this helps. . .

Well, I think it is the overall thinking of everything regarding the matter. See, translated, it is as if that you were not happy in our relationship together. You are more happy as a friend than as someone in a long term relationship. As if, something was... wrong, or the like.

Then you stated the Melissa now could not date the Madd now. I think that is what I ended up forgetting, and thank you for reminding me of it. Yes, we have both changed, to me, I guess, I am not sure how the change has made it to we would not ever be together, and not, that I was not nor am I looking to hook up. Just like, as you stated, it is not simply due to you having a boyfriend.So that does help... does that help?
[User Picture]
Date:Jan 11th, 2006 14:48 (UTC)

Re: I hope this helps. . .

no no no! I WAS happy in our relationship! Until the end. But in the overall jist of things I was happier in our relationship than not happy.

I wasn't happy with our relationship after I broke up with you. I think a lot of the problems I had with our friendship after we broke up were MY expectations. I expected more of you than I should have.

Sometime while I was in Spain. . .I had an epiphany. I rather enjoyed where we are now. I was NOT at all comparing it to where we were when we dated. I was just happy about where we were now and I wanted YOU to know that, although it probably came out wrong?

Yes the Melissa now could not date the Madd now. I am not sure of the change either. I could say that I have "grown-up" a bit. But I don't know what THAT has to do with being able to date you or not. And it is tough for me to pinpoint the changes that I have made.

I suppose part of it is that I expect more of you, and it's not happening. Like the house thing. Or your apartment being clean. It's silly stuff that I shouldn't expect of you, but I guess I know that you COULD do it, and I see that. I am not sure how well that was explained. . .

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