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Dec 14th, 2004

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13:19 - Purple Hang-Overs
Well, well, well... once again, dear friend, I have caught up to things... even things deleted (per usual) as if to leave for dead and let go.  That is the fun and amazing world of procrastination, you see how others change so quickly from what they really mean, since it is no longer a spur of the moment thing.  I am very happy that I got over that phase of my life.  I have grown up much since my childish 20's, so maybe this old thing is not as bad as it could be.  Of course, the real pain came from those who made no attempt to contact me, even though, really there was only one who I would have liked to have heard from and did not.  This past birthday would mark the second year that mother would not get ahold of me.  Last year, her human excuse was "too busy", which makes me wonder if she was too busy to take time for her husband or her other children.  Her new life, as I call it.  I came around (no request by my own), and did my time, and am up and gone.  That is how I feel some times.  Some of my past/ex/former friends make me feel that way also, such as Melissa and Robin/Q and Arwen and Eros and that one dude from that one place and Renata.  Just a stepping stone to keep one's time occupied until they can find something or someone else to replace it.  Despite all of this, I notice I have yet to slow down in my social butterfly explosion, and I have yet to see these behaviors done onto me reflected back to other people.  Thus, one good thing remains strong from my time in this tainted world of humans.  While many a bad habits I have picked up, and failures of friendship or communication I have done, some things of what makes Madd just that, remain the same.  Fortunately for me, the others appear to head down the way of the water buffalo in the artic.  While this is the Nth time I have done a catch-up, I feel that I have found that which will break the cycle of letting things build up.  Emails not replied to, comments not commented to... all this defeated by the same thing that allows me to sleep and drive at the same time (note to humans: do not attempt this trick at home, Madd is a professional idiot with years of experience being a professional idiot, always drive awake).  Repedative, repeated action.  Habit.  All it takes is to make something a habit, and I feel I have that which will make it so.  Thus, JOHD, I will find the ways to make things habit, and then it will just happen.  I remember how long it took until I actually kept locking Alex, as I was not use to having a remote lock.  Now, even if I leave for 2 seconds and know so, Alex gets beeped... habit.

So good things do come to those who wait.  For those friends who are really such, who have stuck around and realized I, like anyone else, am flawed and have issues, can be rewarded for such, and rewards my friends shall have for putting up with one of the toughest critics and strangest humans around, the Master of Maddness.

To that I thank all my friends, who I am not able to mention now, since my battery will not live long enough to create the list.

Besides, you all know who you are...
Current Mood: happyhappy

[[2 comments | Train your Brain]]


[User Picture]
Date:Dec 16th, 2004 12:40 (UTC)
[continues to throw everything within reach at Madd] I love you too. :}
[User Picture]
Date:Dec 19th, 2004 19:13 (UTC)

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