Sep 30th, 2004
|18:24 - 624 - that loving time|
Ah, how nice, an entry at 6:24. I think I am going to go get ready for work. I think I will be able to function by 8 okay. I definitely do not think I am going out with the Q tonight, I am just not up for it.
So I get a stray email, which at first I thought it was a joke. Someone claiming that they had no clue who I was. You know, people always joke, "Madd, how could anyone forget you?" It would turn out that I would finally have an interesting story to tell people who could make that claim. I admit, I always woundered about that fact, to be forgotten. I forget people, some times, however that is generally not my doing. People who slightly wonder in, and just stay there for a few moments and then are out again. Somewhere someone said you can only have so many friends, for then you would not have time for them all. I disagreed. I am not sure, but thinking about it, I think it was while I was in the hallway of Renata's looking into her room. Of course, I cannot confirm nor deny that fact. I am not sure, I think someone else may have said that. I just cannot seem to remember. So, anyway, off on my tangent here, all it would take, was not answering the email. Maybe the money motivated me more than anything else. Of course, it has not motivated me with Mr Chance, the Evil One, or the many others who have gone out and left me with an empty wallet. Maybe it was something else... maybe it was the residual effect of having known her, to just remembering some few specifics. How ironic, so many emails get lost to that account, and that one could have, and my very life to right now would be extremely different. However, it was meant to happen, and me being who I am, an open heart for those who show their own open heart, and like that, here I am. I am not sure what mood I am in. I really cannot put my finger on it. I think it helped the fact I got the message totally drunk. Like getting into a fist fight, I think the drink dulled the majority of my mind. Still does not mean that it was not a shock. I just think how it would have been would I have been sober. It is best, I found walking to Arby's, to not really think about it as much as just preparing to move on. Finding out what of mine I will possibly lose, and what I will get back. She does not seem to be vindictive. Then again, I also never thought I would hear what I heard. So, that just goes to show, I really have no clue what to expect from her.
I will say this, I am very proud of you Sir Maddness. I think how YOU have reacted in the past to people who were a part of extreme hurt. Screaming and yelling in some sense of the word. Now, you simply let it go, and most important, you do not get vindictive yourself. Like with Robin/Q, when you looked around for all her stuff after she left, got it to her, and kept low and submissive tones, as to not attempt to be threatening. The mark of a real kind soul, who means none no harm. I thank you for not letting those of the past cause you to be a bitter person. To that thought, I finally find something good of this day, minus not going into work at 800p, of course. That really hit the spot.
Current Mood: unknown
Current Music: "You Lost That Loving Feeling" 1350 KRNT