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The True FriendA true friend is special - JOHD

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Jul 15th, 2004


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02:05 - The True FriendA true friend is special
So, while drunk here at the bar, I am presented with the question as to if I have a true friend.  You know, I have not ever had a true friend, and not even close.  I have had best friends, to day, three who qualify.  Myles, Gretl, and Lance.  I lost Gretl and Lance and have maintained Myles, and have done so because Myles does those things that a best friend has done.  However, a true friend he is not yet.  A true friend differs from a best friend that, as Christopher Lambert would say, "there can be only one".  What does it take to be a true friend?  I have thought about it a few times, and this was presented to me without warning and I was not ready.  However, the effort was still good, and it made me think, the fact that there is so much to talk about and I manage time so piss poorly, so why not get this one gone while I am slightly drunk and at a bar.  So JOHD... let us look.  A true friend would make massive efforts to put me before him or her.  They would do this out of what they felt, not anything I would ever ask.  The fact they would do this would mean I would do the same back to them.  That is part of my problem, old girl, that I am a lot how others are around me, minus a thing or two.  However someone who showed so much caring of me, that I really meant the world to them, I would get to return the same to them.  All I get is greedy humans who care for nothing but themselves.  Right now I am getting food!!  hEhEhE!!  JOHD, I love you dearly, maybe more than any human, however, it is food time and Madd is hungry, so we shall continue later.

[[18 comments | Train your Brain]]

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:eyes_of_cyrene
Date:Jul 15th, 2004 01:05 (UTC)
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your view is different from mine, as is fitting for any two diverse humans...that is acknowledged.

in my view, I put your wants, desires, feelings ahead of my own more than once. more than twice.

was i a true friend? perhaps not, to your eyes. I strove for a very long time to be to my own definition.

i feel no shame in how i conducted myself as your friend.
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Jul 15th, 2004 02:05 (UTC)
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nor should there be any reason you feel shame. nor was there any attempt for me to abstract as such. however, when is the last time you attempted to make time for me? the tides have turned... and it is no longer my fault in that area, however, that has nothing to do with what I posted. One way or the other. A true friend is something that is much different than a best friend, and frankly I do not remember (and anyone could correct me on this) sharing that information with anyone. in fact, i do not think i have shared a best friend with anyone either at least definition wise. Yeah, in the past you have put some of my things ahead of you. the situation has been returned, many times over. it goes both ways, and not once in what i said, that i see right now, have i stated otherwise. you think you were a true friend in your own eyes? is that what you mean when you said not in madd's eyes?
From:eyes_of_cyrene
Date:Jul 15th, 2004 05:13 (UTC)
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As far as the last time I attempted to make time for you... there were at least three times during the point when you requested my help with the apartment that I offered time and you had other plans. I kind of gave up after a while.

And yes, that's what I meant.
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Jul 18th, 2004 01:18 (UTC)
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three timnes... to make time for me or to make time for my apartment? I have issues with anyone making time to "clean" my place, and as my mind remembers, there was not anything for just time for you and I. Of course, many I am wrong and you can correct me...
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Jul 18th, 2004 01:19 (UTC)
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i disagree... i believe it exist... just as winning the lotto exists... it happens
From:mrshannibal
Date:Jul 15th, 2004 19:50 (UTC)

hey - where's my drink?

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i wanna drink, too! ok, the thing is - i really wanted to believe my boyfriend's my bestfriend, but now i've come to realize that i thought wrong. then i
tried turning to my female bestfriend (one from high
school), and that - also - is not to be. so, i feel kind of stuck...i've been checking out lj's more and more and commenting here and there...perhaps we're not on the same wavelength, but i just wanted to ramble somewhere with someone...so, please - buy me a shot of jack and a coke chaser and we'll call it a nite...
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Jul 25th, 2004 14:34 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

(Link)
i cant I do not think they allow that over the net and stuff... however, id be willing to buy you a drink

yeah, the search for a true friend is something I always keep my eye out for. it requires much to be, however like a best friend, there are excellent benefits. a true friend is just that, and for that, they get believed automatically when there is no way to prove things one way or another. they get special attention, the kind that many others appear to be looking for
From:mrshannibal
Date:Aug 18th, 2004 14:42 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

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funny how relationships change over the years...i have found myself coming to accept the ways things have become between my bf and myself...too bad...
so, where's that drink?
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Sep 29th, 2004 19:47 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

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it is right here next to me, bud light. yeah, it is not as funny when i break it down and see what makes it as it is...

what do you mean accepting the way things are with the BF? what makes it bad?
From:mrshannibal
Date:Oct 6th, 2004 15:31 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

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i don't know that i want to say that it's bad - but there are times when it could be a little better still...after thinking about it and reflecting upon the past 10 years that we have been together - and not getting married! - and now we'll be living together shortly...there are just times when the communication gap is far and wide...however, i have a hunch that once we are together on a continual basis - that function of the relationship will change...and i think that throws me for a slight loop...i don't always like to talk and he knows this...
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Dec 14th, 2004 10:02 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

(Link)
ten years together without marriage. what makes this so? i do not understand how two could be together so long and not finalize it. i would agree, that once you two move in that the communication gap will most likely change
From:mrshannibal
Date:Dec 15th, 2004 07:50 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

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we're together 10 yrs. w/out marriage because it's just the right thing for us...i was married for less than 4 yrs. and the thought of doing it again simply frightens me to no end...i love him with all my heart and soul...in fact, when we met and i saw his livingroom with framed posters of the marching hammers from "the wall" and other posters and music everywhere - i'd found my soulmate...and yes, the communication thing has most definitely changed...he asks how i am and encourages me to talk when i don't want to...he's also stepped up to the plate in having my daughters in the house and sees us all as a family, which i was surprized at...i still can't get used to living there, but i know that takes time for me to adapt to change like this...
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Dec 19th, 2004 19:10 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

(Link)
hmm... so it appears like you have the upper hand in the non-marriage then.

change can take a while for anyone
From:mrshannibal
Date:Jan 26th, 2005 16:16 (UTC)

Re: hey - where's my drink?

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sorry i've been slow in responding, my brain hasn't been functioning as well as i would like... the living together situation is coming along nicely, as is the communication thing...i'm talking more and getting used to being there...
hope you are doing well...
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Feb 24th, 2005 03:56 (UTC)

like i have room to talk :D

(Link)
so what is wrong with your brain? talk to me...


it is really good to hear of the living situation. i like to see couples who actually make a couple, as opposed to two attempting to just be because they already are.

i am hanging in there, doing rather well
From:mrshannibal
Date:Feb 28th, 2005 21:57 (UTC)

Re: like i have room to talk :D

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what's wrong with my brain? oh, so many things...i have bipolar, which completely sucks but there is also a little something calle "borderline personality disorder" which is another barrel of laughs...so i get in these funks that are pretty hard to come out of - which does not make for light reading material, and rather than always write about it - i just stay offline and pretty much suffer thru the phases...i'm on meds, i see a shrink & therapist, but it stull sucks...
the living thing is going strong...we are doing quite well in that dept.
[User Picture]
From:madd74
Date:Mar 1st, 2005 01:59 (UTC)

Re: like i have room to talk :D

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i am a student of psychology, so i am very familiar with what you speak of (i even know that there no longer is anything called "multiple personalities" that is is now classified as DID: dissassociative identity disorder). i realize how difficult it can be since a good number of people i talk to are bi (poloar, sexual, lingual, you name it :D) while I can understand how just up and leaving the situation from humans (keeping to self) can be easier at times, I do want to stress the fact any time you are in a funk and want to vent or frustrate out your life, that I shall be here to listen... er, read, what it is you have on your mind. i can handle any form of venting (if directed towards me I do require a warning to process it easier)

so know, that as my friend, you can always chat with me about anything.

except how to use a tampon, if it consists of anything more than sticking it in and eventually pulling it out, you might want someone else for help :D

{HUG}
From:mrshannibal
Date:Mar 1st, 2005 17:03 (UTC)

Re: like i have room to talk :D

(Link)
thanks for the first 2 paragraphs - there are those that don't always get it...i know my boyfriend doesn't always understand, but yet he listens and gives his best and i love him endlessly for that...i have a very good friend here at work that used to be a therapist and has been lending a wonderful ear/shoulder and has taken it upon herself to help me out...but your offer to listen/read is just as good...i honestly believe what makes this so hard for me is that since i have such a intellectual mind, this mental disorder puts my thoughts in such chaos that i can't always logically see my way out of it...i hope that made sense...
as for the tampons - those are annoying, but a need...
*le sigh*
thank you again...

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