Madd Martin L Kroeger (madd74) wrote,
Madd Martin L Kroeger

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I Do Believe It's Working...

... good.  JOHD... the most diffuclt part about catching up... is that I start to live the emotions... and generally, these emotions include some from other humans.  Now, if I was catching up from a week, that would be one thing.  A month however?{sigh}  Well... some how my brain automatted the playing of Numb while I was doing all these replies.  I saw comments made to posts of depression, and I thought "Wow!!"  I mean, similar to the new customer service aspect humans can expect from Qwest (mental note, tag door hangers).  I saw problems resolved, I saw problems that have not happened yet.  I think, JOHD, at some point it be important I explain to the humans how I work when "catching up".  Hey!!  How about now?

(note to humans)

"Catch Up" - explained.

As many of you realize, I have been (notice this is in past tense not present) rather slow /T catching up with comments.  Some of you, well, I may have a general mellow tone due to some tramatic event, whether it be fighting, there was a death in the family, no longer talking to each other, etc.  Then I come and post to something two months ago, and the general tone is something rather different, some times opposite, where we are now.  Now, I will admit there are exceptions, where the tone was of a happy nature, and the catch up is not, however that is a rare case that generally deals with recent loss.  Everything else, however, you may see is in tune.  Realize, I am a male.  While I have been told that males have a physical inability at a later age to express emotion, that does not stop me from attempting.  Of course, I have the problem where there is no or little emotion where if it was you much emotion might be shown (generally the "you" here is meaning the friends who are female since generally my female friends express emotion more than my male, and also the fact I have more female friends than male).

What makes me do it, many wonder.  It is a simple answer... hahaha, wait, no it's not.  It is an attempt to keep with the current time.  It is most the time not accepted or handled well by others.  Jess is a good example, there was a time we had stopped talking, and in the catching up phase, she decided to let me have it, even though I was posting to a time when she was still talking to me.  Arwen is another case.  Gretl... hmm... that requires thought.  I have no set examples, thus no proof.  Many humans, however, you will notice most are female.  I do not know of any male that I have this issue with.

The catch up phase is something that will soon be in the past.  Extremely difficult and hard work on my part is going to help ensure that I do not fall behind.  Since I am currently the only one I can turn to, it is no easy task.  The best thing I have done is adknowledge that I have some massive issues in certain areas, dealing with time management, procrastination, and... hmm... what was that other one, oh yeah, memory.

If you happen to be a rather new human to the experience to Maddness, realize that for a while, I may be slow in phone calls, I may be slow in responding to emails, comments, and hanging out.  However, eventually, over time, if you show understanding and compassion towards my problems, you will see I come through.

(/note to humans)

{sigh} Okay... so... the big plan, is the massive change to who I am, as a human, interacting towards other humans.  I always said I would defeat this problem, and I have yet to be a quitter about it.  Unfortunately, a rare case of humans show the patients and/or understanding of what I am attempting to defeat.  Since 3rd grade, JOHD, since 3rd grade.  My homework procrastination I remember from that far back.  With as much as I have forgotten things in the past, I remember this.  I remember having the problem and not seeing it as a problem until a few decades later.  It is important I stop doing the human thing of stating "I always forget" and "I will forget".  It *may* happen, does not mean it WILL happen.  The brain adknowledges what it hears, the reason daily affirmations are so powerful.  You know this, Madd, you know this because you have used them before.  No one you know is in such an upbeat mood and spirit for as long as you are.  While these type of people exist, you simply have not got to know them.  You, Madd, have the ability to take a down moment and see why being positive benefits over it.  I have admired that much about you.  Thank you for not falling into that human downward trap.  Now, go finish the few comments you have left, get ready for you day, and go to Myles.

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