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Sep 16th, 2010


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20:19 - Go Penn State!
So the past few days I have been shown just HOW important annoying my girlfriend actually was. It is rare when I am told the things that could drive a person to be snippy with me (with repeated Maddian use, of course) are actually MISSED. It honestly is a glorious day when someone can tell me how they are unsure and annoyed (if even mildly) they are by things, and then turn around and talk about how they miss it. That, my friends, is the ultimate compliment. It is because it goes to show that someone truly loves and wants to be with you for YOU. You are not some "I want to get married and have babies with someone and you happen to be close enough" person. You are, "I love you for you and your faults and please do not change a thing about it because I love your existence" person. That is hot. Madd was right, I was so right, when it came to the significance of my trip to TX. It is actually rather amazing, in that it was only about a week's worth of time. There is still a lot to be had and understood. I find through my chatting with Nicole that her original concerns of not having things in common are being overshadowed by all of the small things we have in common. People may not think small things matter, but I look at it as if I took all of the things in life I said I would buy for a dollar, and someone gave me all of those dollars, I would not have to work from home, or at all, as I would have more money than Bill Gates :D Lots of the small things do add up. Oh there are big things also (besides my girlfriends breasts... hi mom... hi other mom, hehehe). She is one of a rare women I know who could play a game, time permitting, for an entire day. I miss those days. I either have work, or I have Jarin. I mean I love spending time with Jarin. He actually is my favorite game ever (even though he yells at me and says he is not controlled by a joystick, thus he is not a game). There are certain things I do that get a reaction out of him, for fun. Like I talk about how I am going to eat his brains. Or I tell him that he is a game. I sometimes almost forget I have video games with him around. Still, does not mean there are not times when I just want to unwind with a long session of game playing... FFXI if you don't mind. I realize how Peetave misses me :D

Squirrel! So yeah, I am finding my girlfriend is more and more amazing. She comes to compromises. She can understand how something that might be a bad thing can turn out to be a good thing. I think I really enjoy the fact that she can give things a chance. I certainly did not get that in my last relationship. :\ It turns out that is all it really takes. Respect me. Know how to compromise. Love me for me and not a placeholder, as I do not do second place. I cannot think of a single thing bad Nicole does that lingers in my mind. I mean, she has not been no Peach, which is okay, since I get her confused with Daisy. Who the hell is Mario attempting to bone? He either is after three women or one with DID. There have been some things taken totally out of a way I would have meant, and in the past, yeah I would have fought about it instead of doing what I did... apologize. This is totally wonderful, it really is. I sense that a better understanding of me is really in reach. Fuck, I have not had that for the past... 5+ women I have seen unofficially (for those keeping score, those are women I did not date, but put my penis in... yeah... I said penis...). Women seem to think I mean something that I do not. It causes problems and arguments. Nicole has done the same thing, however, she is like this math student attempting to figure out a difficult problem. Yay screwed up warped Maddian analogy time! She is assigned this math problem, it kicks her brain in the ass, so she goes out and freebases (I really do not even know what drug that refers to), then punches a puppy in the face, but then decides to go to drug meetings to get better, and then goes and calmly walks up to the math problem (sneak attack), and actually studies it. Women in the past would get the same math problem, and then go directly to the math teacher and kick him in the nuts even though he was just doing his job, then take over a Christmas Christian radio station, and talk about how Jesus never existed, and how all should kneel before Zod.

No, I am not high, drunk, or tripping on acid. I did find some old JOHD entries, however, so maybe that explains something. No, not really, it just sounded good on paper. I am listening to Floyd, so, that is a grand thing. Also, I postulate that thoughts of a woman who wants to be with me, honestly, until death do us part, as opposed to just saying it, and is showing me in ways that are grand, could really have something to do with it. Maybe work from home is helping. Maybe Jarin really lovin' on me is helping. Maybe being in Maddian form when I talk to customers has something to do with it. Haha, you have to really know me to understand what that means :D Hmm, maybe I am detoxoting from alcohol. Maybe I am detoxing from hate. Ug, I so cannot stand hate. I had been hating for so long, that I think my body was almost to the point of liking it. That is totally bat-shit crazy. It is easy to give into negative emotions. Maybe this has something to do with the strength I asked God to give me, since I was so weak, and so vulnerable. I think the life clicking into place is God's way of showing no matter how bad any situation is, that He will balance out the karma. I mean, really, that is what I feel it all boils down to, karma. You humans out there having shit dumped on you, stop being an asshole to people, and see if your life does not improve. If that does not work, well, then take another hit from the blunt and see if THAT does not help you out. That is, unless of course, you have tachycardia like I do, then don't take a hit from the blunt, because your heart going 180 BPM really sucks. Why is detoxification a word, but detox not a word? That is totally unfair. I am so going to write an unabridged letter to Webster telling him what I think about that.

On a closing note, when you lie direct to my face, and I end up calling you out on it in the end, grow a pair of fucking nuts and accept that you totally fucked up and am going to have to work on it (for clarification, since it might be required, I am not talking about Jen, or any woman I have dated, had sex with, made out with, or punched in the face). Here it is, your moment of Zen...


Current Location: 3014 SW 40th, Des Moines, IA 50321
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: "Echoes" - Pink Floyd, Live

[[1 comment | Train your Brain]]

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:alienesse
Date:Sep 17th, 2010 09:39 (UTC)
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I SO love you.

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